Marriage and the Power of Divorce

She wants to ride her horse all day, which is not horrible as I would play vids all day if it was me.

Our conversation was after many glasses of whine, on a scale of 0-10 I would say we are at a 2 on level of seriousness.

Really I just wanted to distract the conversation from Lend's sad posts about the inevitable (or 9 month pregnant wife hormones)

Your wife has a horse? Does she come from money, or is she from a small town? Generally it's one or the other with horses. They're either an expensive hobby for spoiled city kids, or they grew up in bumfuck nowhere where every family had 5 dogs, 20 cats, and a handful of horses because they lived on a farm or acreage.

Nester_sl said:

She wants to ride her horse all day

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You are clearly not providing what she needs in the bedroom.

Eomer_sl said:

Your wife has a horse? Does she come from money, or is she from a small town? Generally it's one or the other with horses. They're either an expensive hobby for spoiled city kids, or they grew up in bumfuck nowhere where every family had 5 dogs, 20 cats, and a handful of horses because they lived on a farm or acreage.

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No, she came from poverty and grew up in Surrey and lived a few years in a camper with 2 brothers. She is very thrifty due to this and it is a godsend to be honest. We moved from Vancouver to the Okanagan 4 years ago and one of the deals was if I moved her out of the city was that we would do Country stuff, He father was a cowboy in early days so there is an connection to horses. 2 years ago I told her if she was serious about horses she would need to start some leasons and make sure it was for her, first step sure as hell is not to buy an animal. For 9 months over the winter she went every single Saturday and a few weekdays for her lesson. We ended up leasing a horse from a pregnant lady who could not ride, it was only $200 a month and included food and board ! My wife showed amazing dedication to the animal and was religious about attending any event she could. Last August the owner said she was going to sell the horse and asked if we wanted to buy it. She asked me if it was OK and I turned it around on her and said, do you think this is the right move for our family right now? She said no, and I said, well there you go. She sulked off, she told the lady we would pass and a week later we found out it was to be sold to someone else. She was devastated and cried all week. We have been having unexplained fertility problems for 6 years now, many $$ in doctors and trips to specialist with no results and no answers. The horse was an amazing distraction. After she was sad, and having a breakdown moment I asked her the question again, and she said YES, We need this , I need this. So I said, if you need it we can do it. She phone the owner back and the owner said, I am so glad you called I will tell the other people who planed on buying it (no cash or signatures changed hands) that I want to sell to you.

So now I own a horse. It was only $1500. But the monthly costs are the killer, however we have leased it out 3 days days a week to a super nice girl who takes care of it really well, this pays for half the board and feed.

2 months later I came home and said, ?hows the horse? Btw I bought a 75 inch tv? no guff given. Happy life happy wife.

NoodleAnus_sl said:

Let's get one thing fuckin' straight here. No woman knows how to mow a lawn, and if she does you know she does it poorly.

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That is why God invented Mexicans.

It's true. God invented them. From women's beans. That's why men have two beans and women have none.

I am trying to wrap my head around the fact that there were pages of this thread dedicated to the conflict of naming a child. Not trying to belittle it per se... but going back to all the stresses and arguments that pregnancy brought to our marriage, the naming was by and far the easiest thing. So, that makes me wonder how the two of them are going to deal with the really hard stuff that child rearing brings....

Since it sounds like the child will be popped out with more maturity than the two of them combined he may just raise himself

Phazael_sl said:

The vibe I get from reading your posts Nester makes me feel that letting her outright quit would be a bad idea. Something part time where she does some house tending in between would not be bad, though, if she wants to be more of a home body. Or if you guys decide to adopt a kid. But the feeling I get is that she wants to be a traditional stay at home out in the sticks wife, which I think would lead to problems down the road. This is especially true if you are working all the time and she becomes bored at some point (daytime woman's bullshit shows can poison the mind) and starts feeling like she is not getting any attention from you. I think I would try and convince her to find a part time gig doing something she likes to fill in the gaps, instead.

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Agreed, Idle hands.....I don't think she is very serious as she wants us to buy a new house in the next 5 years with enough land to keep the horse and maybe a few more...that wont happen as soon as she wants it if she quits =D She has an amazing work ethic (paid rent at 14 to keep her family afloat) so I am not too worried about it.

Cad_sl said:

You should have left, not allowed her to leave. Now she thinks she's punishing you by leaving you alone. Had you left, you would have been the one punishing her. Now when she comes back, she's going to be like "you done acting shitty yet or do I have to leave again?"

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He needs to flip this around on her. Lendarios, have divorce papers sitting on the kitchen table when she returns! BLOW THIS SHIT UP!

(Also, don't listen to random people on the internet; they have no vested interest in your happiness, but, instead, just enjoy the lulz.)

I'm about 105% sure this relationship is beyond the "You need to show some backbone" phase of it being salvaged

Cad_sl said:

True, but the whole situation he's described is that she doesn't allow him any say on anything, and she threatens him at every turn. Then he allows her to continue to dictate the situation by letting her choose to leave to go to her moms. I just think he needs to show some backbone.

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Agree 100% to backbone at the very least. From the sound of it, this marriage needs to end. I'm half joking about the divorce papers, but, if I was in his shoes, based off what he has said, I would have already filed for divorce. Then again, easy for me since I don't give a shit about his kids or the day to day of his life.