Marriage and the Power of Divorce

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!

Jysin

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
6,457
4,345
... The real point is that when you fall for a girl and she dumps you, our response is "of course she did" because she met your hair but got stuck with you. When you don't have your hair, girls meet you instead of the hair, so when they get you, its what they wanted...
+1

I still think Onoes is missing this critical point. It's been explained to him a hundred different ways by now, so... *shrug*
 

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,656
Why did you clam up on super racist girl? Dropping "all the Faulty Armors need to die" within the first 5 minutes goes in the plus column, not the con column. ESPECIALLY if the girl saying it happens to be a Faulty Armor herself. If she's willing to lay that on you in the first five minutes, once you get about 50 hours in you're going to be in for a treat of some shit so fucked up you've never managed to think of it yourself -- and you've been trying but her she's a natural. It can be mimicked at great pains but there is no real substitute for raw talent. Everyone has something to teach, buddy!
 
2,122
3
it's because onoes is at heart a nice and sensitive guy. The reason he can't deal with a crazy racist chick is the same reason he's pining after the most recent chick, couldn't just tell the crazy car people to fuck off, and is giving his ex wife a gift for not being a raging hosebeast. Did she give you anything onoes?

The horns are just a natural overreaction to the divorce. Seriously just reading your stories and assuming they are true you have plenty of interesting things about yourself without putting up a crazy loserbait sign on your head every time you go out. You have a decent job in a pretty middle class part of the country. Just be yourself man and find some nice woman that is into the stability you can provide and the fact that you are a genuinely nice guy. The problem isn't you, it's this fictitious you that you put out there which attracts the type of females you really don't want. Plus the deception thing another poster brought up when you do find someone you really like and they aren't in to you, just the front you were putting up.
 

Fifey

Trakanon Raider
2,898
962
Armchair psychologist in full effect here but didn't onoes wife dump him to go experience all the things she missed when married? Maybe onoes is trying to out do his wife so she comes back and he can cut that shit off his head.
 

TomServo

<Bronze Donator>
6,962
9,849
Man, fucking annoying. Prepare for an emo post.

So, yesterday I start flirting with a girl on Facebook. She is talking about some crazy aerobic stunt things in a video, and saying she wants to try it. I say that if she thinks she can lift me, I'm game to try. Har har. We go back and forth a bit, and I claim that I'm currently doing the stuff, practicing and getting really good. She says I would need to find a girl who wanted to hang out with me to have any chance at that (burn). I claim I keep several girls tied up in my room for just such emergencies, but to be honest, they keep escaping, so it's really frustrating not having a steady partner. She says I must be tying them up wrong, I offer to show her how I do it if she comes over. She says she's stop by later.

So, just before 9 she messages me and asks if I really want to hang out, I say yes. She comes over, asks what I want to do, and I'm like "I thought I was giving you a demo of being tied up?" she laughs and goes "Maybe next time! Want to just get to know each other?" and I go "Booooo, ahh alright". We sit on my couch and start talking. 4 hours later she leaves. Nothing sexual happens at all, but I am able to determine that I have 0 interest in this girl. She was super fucking racist, to the point that I laughed at the first super racist thing she said, because I thought she must be joking (she casually threw in how all chinese people should just be exterminated), but NOPE, she then proceeded to continue. I should have just asked her to leave I guess, but I argued with her instead, although I really don't know if she was even aware I was arguing with her. She seemed really dumb.

Anyway, so she leaves, and I'm like "God damn what a trainwreck". I check Tinder. I check Facebook. I start getting all depressed thinking about the girl who broke up with me a month ago, and how much I wish I was still with her. Anyway, I finally go to bed.

I have a huge dream that the girl who broke up with me died in a car crash and people wanted me speaking at her funeral and shit. Basically, just a huge dream that kept me feeling terrible all night. Woke up feeling extra shitty.

I had a tattoo appointment at 11, so I left the house to drop something I ordered for a friend off. On my way there, I pass the VW shop this girl who's haunting me works at, and she's standing outside. So I'm sadder having now seen her.

I get to my tattoo appointment and I'm sitting down when my phone rings. I pull it out and its HER. I almost dropped my phone in my hurry to fucking answer it. It's the first time she's called me since dumping me, and I can't help it, why is she calling me?!?!

We say hi, she asks how I'm doing and I say well, and I say "What can I do for you." She explains she just realized something. At one point when we were dating, she was drunk, and I took a video of her just talking to me hammered drunk and naked in bed. She wants to ask me to erase it. I told her I already did. She says thank you. We hang up.

Fucking depressing. I got all excited, but NOPE, she just wanted to call to make sure there was no proof we ever dated. LOL. THE FEEEEEEEELZ. Fuck it, back to doing something to take my mind off it.


Ohhhh P.s. here was something super fun that happened over the weekend. I mentioned I was going to a show with a friends band in Vegas last Sat in an earlier post. I went and had a great time, and offered to run the merch booth for them. Well, about 7 songs into their set, the lead singer goes "Hey, we've got merch over there! Go see El Diablo, he's working for us now!" The crowd looked back, I raised my arms over my head, bowed, and pointed at all our stuff like a filthy salesman. Then the guitar player yells "HAIL SATAN!", and some other members of the band yell it, and the crowd starts yelling it, while I just threw my arms up and encouraged it. It was super awesome, and all that was going through my head was "Fuck youuuuu Rerolled! This is awesome." Haha. Anyway, it was really cool, and they invited me on the rest of their tour if I want. Again, I know it's dumb, but I'm telling you... so much fun.
Jesus Christ onoes fix yo ratio on ipt
 

Onoes

Trakanon Raider
1,460
1,225
No idea what ipt is. The girl I was dating actually met me on Halloween, I had a hat on. I need to stop bringing the hair up, it always just devolves into this. We are all in agreement it's ridiculous, I just find the fun it facilitates to outweigh that?

As for the girlast from facebook, she was a girl I met at the brewery with a bunch of people I knew, she added me to Facebook, but I don't really know her.

And giving me shit about a tattoo appointment? Is that taboo now too?
 

a_skeleton_03

<Banned>
29,948
29,763
The hair or tattoo isn't the issue, it is what they represent about your attitude towards life and "normal" culture.

Your desire to be counter culture just because despite the fact that you are admittedly drawing in broken chicks is just ill advised.
 

Itlan

Blackwing Lair Raider
4,994
744
Why are you still pining over this chick? The girl I was talking to hasn't texted me since Monday morning following her "I'm just in a shitty mood." crap and I literally don't give a shit if she ever texts me again. Try doing that... try not giving a shit.

Also, cut your fucking hair. Or grow the rest of it. Just.. something.
 

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,656
Sometimes they come out black, but they get lighter around 5 years old. It's how like most little girls are blonde.
 

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
<Gold Donor>
47,435
80,976
Best thing to do when people privately go full racist is to double down and see how far the rabbit hole goes. Next thing you know you're re-enacting scenes from American History X.
 

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
25,426
49,042
Best thing to do when people privately go full racist is to double down and see how far the rabbit hole goes. Next thing you know you're re-enacting scenes from American History X.
American History X wasn't nearly as racist as shit you see in real life.