Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Sutekh

Sutekh

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I have no interest in owning anything. Even my apartment is pretty desolate. I've got a couch the people before me left, a table the people before me left, a coffee table, a TV, my computer, and a bed. It's a two BR place too. I would rather spend my money traveling.

edit: re: your edit.

I guess, I can't really say she's immature or anything since I literally feel the same way. The difference being she's afraid of committing to anything. I feel the same way, it's just moving to Pittsburgh has more benefits to me than just GET TO SEE GIRL MORE. Rent cheaper, area nicer, away from my family, lower cost of living, etc.
 
Soygen

Soygen

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Sutekh_sl said:
I have no interest in owning anything. Even my apartment is pretty desolate. I've got a couch the people before me left, a table the people before me left, a coffee table, a TV, my computer, and a bed. It's a two BR place too. I would rather spend my money traveling.
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Didn't you mention something about traveling/backpacking for a while? I suggest you do that while you're not tied down(both personally or financially) or you'll regret it. I wish I had done the same in my 20's and now I'm 38, creeping close to proposing to my girlfriend and tied down with a mortgage. I enjoy my life, but I spent my 20s partying. It was fun then, but a huge waste of money(and youth).
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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I always chuckle a bit when people talk about ideas "scaring the shit out of them". Is that supposed to be some polite way of saying "slow down weirdo" or does the idea of cohabitating literally scare the shit of some people? I mean... the idea of bungee jumping or skydiving scares the shit out of me. Living with someone? Not so much.
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

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Soygen_sl said:
Didn't you mention something about traveling/backpacking for a while? I suggest you do that while you're not tied down(both personally or financially) or you'll regret it. I wish I had done the same in my 20's and now I'm 38, creeping close to proposing to my girlfriend and tied down with a mortgage. I enjoy my life, but I spent my 20s partying. It was fun then, but a huge waste of money(and youth).
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What's going to tie me down personally or financially though? I've felt this way my entire life, even when I was with my ex. The only reason we were married was because of the common law marriage in PA. I'm kind of just coasting through life without any real regard or serious thought.

Khane_sl said:
I always chuckle a bit when people talk about ideas "scaring the shit out of them". Is that supposed to be some polite way of saying "slow down weirdo" or does the idea of cohabitating literally scare the shit of some people? I mean... the idea of bungee jumping or skydiving scares the shit out of me. Living with someone? Not so much.
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She's pretty straight forward with her words, so I think she literally meant the idea of having someone move to a different state and the commitment implied with it scared her. I don't really find that strange at all.
 
Slaythe

Slaythe

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With the EQ connection I always assume people on here are at least older than I am (30 now, when EQ released I was 14). At 27 I wouldn't commit to anything either. Just enjoy your life until you're forced not to.
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
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106
Slaythe_sl said:
With the EQ connection I always assume people on here are at least older than I am (30 now, when EQ released I was 14). At 27 I wouldn't commit to anything either. Just enjoy your life until you're forced not to.
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Yeah, I never played EQ. So I guess I'm part of the 'younger' crowd on the forum.
 
Soygen

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
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Sutekh_sl said:
What's going to tie me down personally or financially though? I've felt this way my entire life, even when I was with my ex. The only reason we were married was because of the common law marriage in PA. I'm kind of just coasting through life without any real regard or serious thought.
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You never know what will tie you down personally for financially. It's not always a conscious decision, nor one from a positive origin(a medical crisis could put you in a financial bind, for instance). I'm saying that you don't have any of those things now(regardless of desire) and you're still young. Go out and do those things you want to do while you're young.
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

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Gravy_sl said:
I guess you've told her all of this? If so, I don't see why moving back wouldn't be an ok idea.
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Yeah we've talked about this before, mainly when talking about why her and her ex split up, which were because he wanted those things and she didn't. Almost the identical situation to me and mine, except she was the one to cut the cord rather.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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You guys should probably have the conversation of what you both want in life and from the relationship now rather than later. To me, if someone said it scared the shit out of them I would translate that as they're not ready for a commitment and maybe it's moving too fast. She might be trying to friend-zone you, but I've never been good at reading females.
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

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Women don't friend zone me unless I let them. I make it pretty clear that it's all or nothing, I don't need more friends. She knows this too. Her exact words were "It has absolutely nothing to do with you, I really like you." I obviously trust her when she says that, since there really is no reason for me to even be in a relationship with someone if I can't trust what they're saying. We've already talked about that stuff. Basically what we both want out of life right now is to work, fuck each other a lot, watch movies, eat good food, and travel. That's about it and it's awesome.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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If moving would be a great benefit outside of the girl then just do it. If you weren't with her would you still think about making the move? If so then just go ahead and do it, you don't need her to be okay with it for you to move to a place you would rather be. Her being there would do one of two things. Be a benefit to the relationship you guys are cultivating or she runs and you see that it wouldn't have worked out anyway and allows you to move on and do your thing while being in a batter town with better options.

Either way you win.
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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If the idea of a relationship actually scares the shit out of someone I'd probably ask them how they get over their fear of electricity and make it through a day without collapsing into a panic whenever they smell burnt toast.

In other words, I'd make her laugh and then put it in her butt.
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
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106
Tarrant_sl said:
If moving would be a great benefit outside of the girl then just do it. If you weren't with her would you still think about making the move? If so then just go ahead and do it, you don't need her to be okay with it for you to move to a place you would rather be. Her being there would do one of two things. Be a benefit to the relationship you guys are cultivating or she runs and you see that it wouldn't have worked out anyway and allows you to move on and do your thing while being in a batter town with better options.

Either way you win.
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It's a little more complicated than that I think. While moving there would be beneficial to me in more ways than just being with her, I can't ignore the effect that it would have on our relationship. I feel like I'm trying to feed a scared animal in the fucking forest, kind of offering food and they're slowly getting closer and nibbling on it, I don't need to try and throw a cage on top of them and bring them home. Gotta ease into that shit.

Khane_sl said:
If the idea of a relationship actually scares the shit out of someone I'd probably ask them how they get over their fear of electricity and make it through a day without collapsing into a panic whenever they smell burnt toast.

In other words, I'd make her laugh and then put it in her butt.
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I guess the difference between you and I is that I'm not a douche.
 
Khane

Khane

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Sutekh_sl said:
I guess the difference between you and I is that I'm not a douche.
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Oooooh you're so dark and brooding. Are you also tall and handsome? I'm pretty much a super down to earth total girl next door type, just looking for my prince charming.
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

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I'm pretty average when it comes to height, 5' 11" / 6' 0" depending on the weather. Not really dark, you can call it swarthy, Italian really. I am pretty handsome, I'd say I'm a solid 9. I also usually try not to laugh at people when they express concerns about something.
 
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