Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Soygen · Feb 4, 2015

Yeah, 3 months is pretty quick. I've been with my current girlfriend for two and a half years and the sex is still very good. I keep the filth at a high level as much as possible.

Honestly, I always want to sleep with other women a lot. It's a daily struggle in a committed relationship for me. It's definitely the biggest 'con' in the pros/cons of a relationship. At 38 years old, though, I would rather be with someone I enjoy being with and having some kind of future plan, than just to fuck around with multiple chicks.

Commander Vimeseh_sl · Feb 4, 2015

just means you aren't ready to settle down and always have your eyes on the next prize.

Blazin · Feb 4, 2015

Khane_sl said:
This ever happen to anyone else? In new relationships I am very vocal about sexy time and doing certain things and testing boundaries. As time wears on I get less and less interested in "spicing" things up to the point where I even kind of find foreplay to be a chore. I can feel that way one night, end a relationship and the very next night be full bore with a new chick. It's very detrimental because I am a dirty birdy in new relationships. Constantly telling them what I'm going to do, what I want, what I want them to do. Taking control of them in public when nobody is looking, getting them amped up. And then I just lose interest in all that after a while and they think I've lost ALL interest in them as a person, which isn't true. Just don't care about talking dirty and being exciting anymore, let's just do this thing.

Guess I just get sexually bored of the same woman easily... "been there, done that".

Try having sex with the same vagina from Age 17 to 37. I have said to my wife during sex "I wonder what other vagina's feel like" She just tells me "The same and to shut-up"

On the food suggestion I mentioned one time mixing food and sex and she said "Ok George" and I loved her for making the reference.

Blazin · Feb 4, 2015

I can't find a non sucky version

Frenzied Wombat · Feb 4, 2015

Khane_sl said:
This ever happen to anyone else? In new relationships I am very vocal about sexy time and doing certain things and testing boundaries. As time wears on I get less and less interested in "spicing" things up to the point where I even kind of find foreplay to be a chore. I can feel that way one night, end a relationship and the very next night be full bore with a new chick. It's very detrimental because I am a dirty birdy in new relationships. Constantly telling them what I'm going to do, what I want, what I want them to do. Taking control of them in public when nobody is looking, getting them amped up. And then I just lose interest in all that after a while and they think I've lost ALL interest in them as a person, which isn't true. Just don't care about talking dirty and being exciting anymore, let's just do this thing.

Guess I just get sexually bored of the same woman easily... "been there, done that".

Welcome to pretty much every single one of my relationships. Three month mark seems about right.. The fact of the matter is that pussy comes in all sorts of wonderful shapes and sizes, and you can't help but hunger for variety after awhile. The "excitement" with the new girl dies off after you've seen her bod a hundred times over, and hence it becomes more about just busting a nut and getting her to the finish line asap, rather than the voracious foreplay that symbolized the romance phase.

Frenzied Wombat · Feb 4, 2015

Blazin_sl said:
Try having sex with the same vagina from Age 17 to 37. I have said to my wife during sex "I wonder what other vagina's feel like" She just tells me "The same and to shut-up"

Hate to break it to you bro, but she's lying. There is definite difference between pussy tightness, particularly between ethnicities.

lurkingdirk · Feb 4, 2015

I dunno, guys. I guess I'm in the extreme minority, but I find sex to be getting better as time goes on. My wife knows exactly what gets me going, and how long to do it, and how to change it just enough to make it interesting. And I get extreme satisfaction knowing those things about her, and watching her react to it. The familiar doesn't equal boredom for us, it seems. The familiar brings new forms of pleasure and fun, and the familiar is comfortable, so inhibitions are gone, and there is certainly no need to impress. To me, that's worth a lot more than just getting some fresh pussy.

Now, does that mean I'm not attracted to other women, and that I don't look at them? pfft. Bitch, please. Of course I am. But it is so not worth fucking up what I have for a couple hours of fun, that the thought of, "boy, I'd like to put it in that!" occurs rather infrequently. Perhaps I'm rare in that I have a very satisfying sex life with my long term wife. I know I'm lucky.

Blazin · Feb 4, 2015

lurkingdirk_sl said:
I dunno, guys. I guess I'm in the extreme minority, but I find sex to be getting better as time goes on. My wife knows exactly what gets me going, and how long to do it, and how to change it just enough to make it interesting. And I get extreme satisfaction knowing those things about her, and watching her react to it. The familiar doesn't equal boredom for us, it seems. The familiar brings new forms of pleasure and fun, and the familiar is comfortable, so inhibitions are gone, and there is certainly no need to impress. To me, that's worth a lot more than just getting some fresh pussy.

Now, does that mean I'm not attracted to other women, and that I don't look at them? pfft. Bitch, please. Of course I am. But it is so not worth fucking up what I have for a couple hours of fun, that the thought of, "boy, I'd like to put it in that!" occurs rather infrequently. Perhaps I'm rare in that I have a very satisfying sex life with my long term wife. I know I'm lucky.

How long we talking? I would agree we have become very good at it over the years and are much more adept at pleasing each other than when we first started, but that process doesn't take decades unless you are a slow learner

lurkingdirk · Feb 4, 2015

I don't think it should take that long, either. But the longer we are together, the more fun and exciting things get. I know that's counter cultural, and somewhat counter intuitive. But there it is. My wife can get me off in about no time flat, or we can make it last for a pleasurably excruciating long time. It's also nice to be able to read each other's signals. Oh, she wants a quick wham bam tonight, let's go. Oh, she wants to be romanced tonight, here we go.

Kirun · Feb 4, 2015

Blazin_sl said:
You're probably right just sucks when it doesn't line up with your partner. First 7 years I wanted it more than her, then slowly worked it way to even and stayed that way for a long time. May just be a period of time her libido will be ahead of me. I'm use to be ing horny pretty much all the time, change can be stressful. Life long monogamy I'm sure plays a role, I really don't know that we are built for it.

How often do you look at porn on a daily/weekly basis?

Deathwing · Feb 4, 2015

Noodlemod_sl said:
You won't do food stuff? My brother told me his greatest sexual fantasy come true was when his fiance allowed him to put a box of pizza on her back and he fucked while eating pizza and watching breaking bad.

It's almost always messy. And the tastes involved with sex are never pleasing from a strict taste standpoint, so I'd rather not mix in foods that are specifically supposed to taste good.

Frenzied Wombat · Feb 4, 2015

For me at least, sex doesn't "get better" as time goes by. There is that initial shyness/boundary phase to get through, but other than that she's either good in the sack, or isn't. As long as she doesn't suck in bed, and we've gotten over that initial hump, anything beyond that doesn't really matter for me. Familiarity, brought on by a long term relationship with frequent sex, just equals boredom. The strongest mind blowing orgasm for me simply comes from her lying on her stomach, legs closed, and me ramming her from behind, not from any sex skill building we've done over the years.

We're all wired to chase women, and biologically were also wired to try and breed with as many women as possible. I think some of us are just more effected by this biological drive than others.

lindz · Feb 4, 2015

Khane_sl said:
This ever happen to anyone else? In new relationships I am very vocal about sexy time and doing certain things and testing boundaries. As time wears on I get less and less interested in "spicing" things up to the point where I even kind of find foreplay to be a chore. I can feel that way one night, end a relationship and the very next night be full bore with a new chick. It's very detrimental because I am a dirty birdy in new relationships. Constantly telling them what I'm going to do, what I want, what I want them to do. Taking control of them in public when nobody is looking, getting them amped up. And then I just lose interest in all that after a while and they think I've lost ALL interest in them as a person, which isn't true. Just don't care about talking dirty and being exciting anymore, let's just do this thing.

Guess I just get sexually bored of the same woman easily... "been there, done that".

I think that's pretty standard within a relationship too though. My husband and I have periods where we have crazy good sex which can lasts for a few months at a time. Then it fades off and we're doing it every day, but not really trying. It usually takes a couple weeks of bland sex before we realize it has gotten boring and we ramp it up again. It's not that either one of us are losing interest in the other or are bored, we just get into a routine and stop thinking about it.

Phazael · Feb 4, 2015

It changes with age. If you are in the 25-30 range, then that is pretty normal in my experience. Your dong is always looking for the next notch on the bedpost, even if your brain is trying to be more long term. Once you start closing in on 40 and your dick controls less of your life, that changes to a large degree and relationships tend to slow down and last longer as an indirect result. Not right or wrong, just biology.

Khane · Feb 4, 2015

Phazael_sl said:
It changes with age. If you are in the 25-30 range, then that is pretty normal in my experience. Your dong is always looking for the next notch on the bedpost, even if your brain is trying to be more long term. Once you start closing in on 40 and your dick controls less of your life, that changes to a large degree and relationships tend to slow down and last longer as an indirect result. Not right or wrong, just biology.

My dong nor my head are looking for notches on bedposts or belts. Conquering has literally nothing to do with how I feel. The sex doesn't even really slow down, it's just becomes more "standard". I don't stop sleeping with someone after that initial period, I just stop trying to be a stud and simply just have sex. I guess it just means that I have a short courting phase and can't be bothered once i'm done with it.

Pageantry is for the peasants! This causes the women I am with to think I've moved on and don't care about them anymore.

Cad · Feb 4, 2015

Intentionally change things up with your sex life. Do it in different positions, different times of day (DO NOT fall into a rut about the "procedure" for sex, it should be spontaneous), different places in the house (or someone else's house!) etc... work on your oral technique, even if you can get her off in 60 seconds, don't. Draw it out for her sometimes and let her teeter on the edge, then give it to her after a few rounds. Talk dirty to her while you're doing it. Etc... just mix it up. Don't do it the same way/same place/same time.

Famm · Feb 4, 2015

Kirun_sl said:
How often do you look at porn on a daily/weekly basis?

He said he's not interested in porn either.

Thanks for making me glad I didn't get a vasectomy Blazin! No orgasms? Or just like really weak or what? I don't remember reading about that side effect. I mainly pussied out of the actual procedure in fear as much as anything. I also scared myself reading about the side effects. And I'll admit a part of it was the girl I was seeing was upset by it. In retrospect I wish I hadn't even mentioned it to her, changing my mind probably helped her believe there was a chance I would change my mind on marriage and kids and now that's pretty much ruined the relationship we had, not that I expect her to sit around and wait.

Anyway, fuck that shit. I was also worried about people reporting chronic pain in the perineum, which sounded like a big risk as an avid cyclist. As much as I DON'T want to have kids again, I'd take an accidental baby over not being able to enjoy riding. Which is saying a lot because if I got someone pregnant I'd probably feel halfway suicidal.

Blazin · Feb 4, 2015

Kirun_sl said:
How often do you look at porn on a daily/weekly basis?

less than weekly. Mostly limited to bouncing boobs in the gif thread when it use to load and occasionally following links in who is that girl thread. Maybe once every 2-3 weeks outside of that and limited to browsing beeg for a few mins before saying "meh"

Blazin · Feb 4, 2015

Famm_sl said:
He said he's not interested in porn either.

Thanks for making me glad I didn't get a vasectomy Blazin! No orgasms? Or just like really weak or what? I don't remember reading about that side effect. I mainly pussied out of the actual procedure in fear as much as anything. I also scared myself reading about the side effects. And I'll admit a part of it was the girl I was seeing was upset by it. In retrospect I wish I hadn't even mentioned it to her, changing my mind probably helped her believe there was a chance I would change my mind on marriage and kids and now that's pretty much ruined the relationship we had, not that I expect her to sit around and wait.

Anyway, fuck that shit. I was also worried about people reporting chronic pain in the perineum, which sounded like a big risk as an avid cyclist. As much as I DON'T want to have kids again, I'd take an accidental baby over not being able to enjoy riding. Which is saying a lot because if I got someone pregnant I'd probably feel halfway suicidal.

I had pain from sex for almost a year following, ended up taking 800mg of naprasin a day for as long as I felt my liver wouldn't crap out and inflammation finally abated enough and pain didn't return. The orgasms now are very bland to non existant if I was reading a book I wouldn't stutter. Something doesn't cycle right, I remain horny don't lose erection. None of the tingly skin, endorphin type feel. Maybe 2-3 times a year I'll have one, no rhyme or reason to it that we can find to reproduce. My procedure took over an hour I was told it was going to be 10-15 mins. My vas deferens were embedded in a good bit of tissue and I wish the surgeon had just sutured me back up at that point and re-evaluated. He said that my nerves related to orgasm should not have been in that bundle of tissue but everyone's anatomy is slightly different. My body responded to the procedure by building up scar tissue and it's likely that certain nerves are just being pushed on in a way just enough to fuck it up for me. I think it was just really bad luck on my part. I know several people who have had vasectomy without issue but I think people need to go into it knowing that it is not without risk like any surgery.

Soygen · Feb 4, 2015

Khane_sl said:
My dong nor my head are looking for notches on bedposts or belts. Conquering has literally nothing to do with how I feel. The sex doesn't even really slow down, it's just becomes more "standard". I don't stop sleeping with someone after that initial period, I just stop trying to be a stud and simply just have sex. I guess it just means that I have a short courting phase and can't be bothered once i'm done with it.

Pageantry is for the peasants! This causes the women I am with to think I've moved on and don't care about them anymore.

Ok, in that case you're just lazy. What are we even discussing at this point?

Marriage and the Power of Divorce

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One

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The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One