You have to work at that shit. Once you get married, most people get complacent. They think, all right now Im married, job is done. She/he will love me forever because we are now married, in a contract for life. Then the kids come, the monotony of day to day life... Pretty soon youre living not like a married couple but a couple of room mates. I went through this shit. I took all that crap for granted. My gaming addictions, porn, fuck it was easier to rub one out than go through trying to get some from the wifey. Shit I remember in the first couple of years of marriage and my EQ addiction back in 2000, the wife would come into the gaming room naked, dancing for me and shit, and I blew her off. Thinking back how fucking silly that shit was. I was not a husband, but another child for her to take care of. I was definitely not meeting her physical and emotional needs. I fucking put on 50lbs, ate like shit, looked like shit, and then when I wanted some she blew me off which built animosity between us both. We basically had sex like twice a month.
I dint know at the time, nor did I fucking care what she did. I came home, made dinner, played with the kids for a while, took care of shit, and once they were in bed, off to the gaming room I went. And then she started chatting up some dude on the phone. This was about 2006ish. We had a huge ass blowout at that time, and she trickled truth me about this dude she was chatting up. Thank god he lived in another state because I know she would of fucked him if he was local. I was done at that point. Fuck was I angry. I wanted nothing to do with her at this point and contemplating divorce. But at that time, I did a lot of soul searching, looking deep inside. And I realized, finally what a jack ass I was. I think she realized I was done too, so she did a bit of changing as well.
I lost weight, started to go out with buds, quit the gaming, quit the porn, all that shit. Started to lift weights, and things slowly started to turn around. It was a slow process but now we are closer than ever. We actually spend time together, every night. We have sex at least 4 times a week, hot passionate sex that resembles sex we had when we were dating, but even rougher because I know now what she likes.
The point is that this shit takes work. Yeah, blah blah, you heard it before, but you can get stuck in a rut of every day bullshit and start taking each other for granted.