Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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I've been microaggressed. Please refrain from using speech I find offensive, because this is the fuckinggrown upthread. I don't want to have to report you.
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Asshat wormie
2023 Asshat Award Winner
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Ok bros I got myself into a bit of a predicament and I have no one else to vent to. A little background first.
I am 35 and my wife is 31. We have been together for 9 years. 7 of which have been us living together with the last 5 with us being married. We do not have kids. I do not want any and she is about 70/30 on the issue. 70% leaning towards not having any kids. She is sweet and caring. She takes as good care of me as I expect from any other person. She is a Doctor so is excluded from office gossip so I never have to listen to that bullshit. When she watches shows I dont like, she does not expect me to join her. She likes the things that I like which is travelling and food but she is not into the typical geeky shit that most people on this forums are into. She does not mind the fact that I am about to take a massive paycut by leaving my business and going into grad school. She doesnt get mad if I look at other women and in fact we often discuss how hot these women are and which one she would prefer to bang. Basically she is the opposite of every complaint about wives in this thread. The only "bad" things about her is that she isnt very concerned with the cleanliness and tidiness of our house (niether am I so its not a big deal), she is super shy and unsure of herself and very naive, especially in business. Her naivety is a constant cause of our very mild arguments. Basically I am terrified of her losing her license due to being too trusting of others so I lose my cool from time to time. Oh and she is pretty, petite with an awesome ass and exercises every chance she gets. She also works 6 days a week, sometimes 10-12 hours a day and does not mind it at all and is in fact thinking of working more. And on top of all of this, she is absolutely and undeniably in love with me. And we are each others best friends, we like spending time together (which isnt much, maybe an hour a day, sometimes more, sometimes less), we are honest with each other and we hold each others opinions above all others.
I am 35 and my wife is 31. We have been together for 9 years. 7 of which have been us living together with the last 5 with us being married. We do not have kids. I do not want any and she is about 70/30 on the issue. 70% leaning towards not having any kids. She is sweet and caring. She takes as good care of me as I expect from any other person. She is a Doctor so is excluded from office gossip so I never have to listen to that bullshit. When she watches shows I dont like, she does not expect me to join her. She likes the things that I like which is travelling and food but she is not into the typical geeky shit that most people on this forums are into. She does not mind the fact that I am about to take a massive paycut by leaving my business and going into grad school. She doesnt get mad if I look at other women and in fact we often discuss how hot these women are and which one she would prefer to bang. Basically she is the opposite of every complaint about wives in this thread. The only "bad" things about her is that she isnt very concerned with the cleanliness and tidiness of our house (niether am I so its not a big deal), she is super shy and unsure of herself and very naive, especially in business. Her naivety is a constant cause of our very mild arguments. Basically I am terrified of her losing her license due to being too trusting of others so I lose my cool from time to time. Oh and she is pretty, petite with an awesome ass and exercises every chance she gets. She also works 6 days a week, sometimes 10-12 hours a day and does not mind it at all and is in fact thinking of working more. And on top of all of this, she is absolutely and undeniably in love with me. And we are each others best friends, we like spending time together (which isnt much, maybe an hour a day, sometimes more, sometimes less), we are honest with each other and we hold each others opinions above all others.
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Cad
scientia potentia est
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I notice you didn't say in here that you are in love with her, or that you love her. You say she loves you, and she takes care of you. But you don't say that you love her, or that you are undeniably in love with her.
Is that a slip, or is that your feelings?
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Sounds like you've just got the 7(+2) year itch.
But yeah, if you don't want to to gradually slide down to slope into cheating on your wife, you probably have to stop talking to this chick. Or at least talk to her directly about it to give her the out of 'you were just misreading me, i wasnt that into you' and maybe you can stay friends, but that still seems like it isn't going to work out. It honestly sounds like your wife is an 8 or 9 on the 'women i want to have a long term relationship with' scale, so you probably shouldn't throw that away on what you've most likely correctly identified as an infatuation.
Or you could pop the open relationship question and be free to pursue your geeky classmate no matter which answer your wife gives.
But yeah, if you don't want to to gradually slide down to slope into cheating on your wife, you probably have to stop talking to this chick. Or at least talk to her directly about it to give her the out of 'you were just misreading me, i wasnt that into you' and maybe you can stay friends, but that still seems like it isn't going to work out. It honestly sounds like your wife is an 8 or 9 on the 'women i want to have a long term relationship with' scale, so you probably shouldn't throw that away on what you've most likely correctly identified as an infatuation.
Or you could pop the open relationship question and be free to pursue your geeky classmate no matter which answer your wife gives.
Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
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It sounds like your wife is a fucking catch and a half, loves you, and is a fucking earner. Don't fuck it up over a young hot piece that you are infatuated with, because honestly that can end right quick after you actually *know* her. She's 26 years old and can flake in a heartbeat. I would assume that after being with your wife for almost ten years, obviously a lot of the excitement is gone so just the fact that some young hot chick is showing interest results in feelings you haven't felt in years. Don't fall for it bro. Drop this class if you can and don't ever see this chick again.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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Frenzied is spot on. You have a perfect marriage, why would you trash that to bang some random 20 something you have little to no history with? Go rub one out or something. Taking a leap into the crazy zone is not worth ruining something like you describe, unless there is more that you are not telling us about your existing marriage.
Asshat wormie
2023 Asshat Award Winner
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Thats my predicament. I thought I was in love but if that was true, how can I possibly be in the situation I am in now? How can there be any other women that can turn everything on its head so easily and how can I be so helpless about it. How is it that I am feeling things now that I do not remember feeling ever with my wife? All these questions are making me questions everything I thought I knew about my marriage and my wife. And those questions lead to other questions like "Did I settle? Did I pick someone comfortable instead of someone I love?".
I am fighting the urge to do something stupid but at the same time I am asking myself if I deserve to feel something new and exciting.
My wife (and in fact her entire family, my in laws are great) is pretty amazing. She sure as fuck doesnt deserve this bullshit. I always prided myself on being logical and pragmatic (do ignore the character I might play online) but clearly this is not true. The logical and correct thing is obvious yet here we are.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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Because the idea that if you love one person, you won't have feelings for anyone else ever is stupid as shit. Of course you will meet people you like, of course you will meet people you are attracted to, and it's only normal to have feelings for people you meet that you like and are attracted to. If having these feelings is what is making you doubt your feelings for your wife, then you are seeing it wrong. There will always be someone else, and you will always need to remind yourself of your commitments and what you have at home.
If, on the other hand, you are deeply unsatisfied with your wife for (reasons), and you are seeking solace in the arms of this other woman, then thats a different thing altogether. But just because you find yourself attracted to a woman doesn't invalidate the feelings you have for your wife.
iannis
Musty Nester
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The 26 year old is not worth it.
It's just that simple. What you've got. Keep it. The grass is not any greener.
We all want a little bit of strange some times. That is actually perfectly normal and has no bearing on if you love your wife. It just means you're human. Your wife might even want a little bit of strange time to time. Being married usually means that you forgo that satisfaction for a different sort. That's being a MAN, son!
If you turn this into a 3some, we'll need pics or else you're just a fucking liar.
It's just that simple. What you've got. Keep it. The grass is not any greener.
We all want a little bit of strange some times. That is actually perfectly normal and has no bearing on if you love your wife. It just means you're human. Your wife might even want a little bit of strange time to time. Being married usually means that you forgo that satisfaction for a different sort. That's being a MAN, son!
If you turn this into a 3some, we'll need pics or else you're just a fucking liar.
Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
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Guess what bro, you can be in love with your wife and still get a serious woody for some hot young chick that digs you. It's called being a man. The problem here is you are letting your dick convince you that you have "feelings" for her, or that she's "better" for you because she knows what armor class means and finished Diablo 3. Don't fall for it, your dick is wrong-- even *if* she was the "one" and didn't flake, take you for a ride, or otherwise turn out to be a bad choice, I guarantee you that 10 years from now your feelings for her probably wouldn't be much different than you have for your current wife. I know what it's like to be infatuated and not be able to stop thinking about some piece of ass, but you have to fucking try, and the first step to accomplishing that is to not see her again.
Asshat wormie
2023 Asshat Award Winner
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I cant say I am unsatisfied with my wife. But I dont think I can say that I am happy either. I thought I was, now I have no idea.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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