Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Cad

Cad

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wormie_sl said:
I cant say I am unsatisfied with my wife. But I dont think I can say that I am happy either. I thought I was, now I have no idea.
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If you want my advice, I would put some effort in with the wife, spend some time doing her shit, and get her to spend some time doing your geeky shit. Make it a double effort and really try to reconnect and spice things up. It seems to me that you have the "difficult" things accomplished with your wife, but you're missing some of the new relationship energy aspects, which of course do not survive in a long term relationship. Nothing wrong with that, you just need to address it and put effort in to keep things interesting, keep your wife feeling sexy (and let her be sexy!), and be a sexy motherfucker yourself.

My $.02
 
Gavinmad

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Maybe go home tonight and rail your wife like it's your last night on earth. Or wait til she has a day off the next morning so you can really take her on an all expenses paid luxury trip to poundtown. As someone who has been prone to roller coaster infatuations most of his life, I'm guessing you're actually quite happy with your wife and the way things are at home, you've just been thrown for a loop because you never expected to fall for someone again.

It seems extreme but Wombat may be right, if you can't figure out any other way to keep yourself from falling farther for this chick, you need to take the nuclear option and drop the class.
 
moonarchia

moonarchia

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wormie_sl said:
Thats my predicament. I thought I was in love but if that was true, how can I possibly be in the situation I am in now? How can there be any other women that can turn everything on its head so easily and how can I be so helpless about it. How is it that I am feeling things now that I do not remember feeling ever with my wife? All these questions are making me questions everything I thought I knew about my marriage and my wife. And those questions lead to other questions like "Did I settle? Did I pick someone comfortable instead of someone I love?".



I am fighting the urge to do something stupid but at the same time I am asking myself if I deserve to feel something new and exciting.



My wife (and in fact her entire family, my in laws are great) is pretty amazing. She sure as fuck doesnt deserve this bullshit. I always prided myself on being logical and pragmatic (do ignore the character I might play online) but clearly this is not true. The logical and correct thing is obvious yet here we are.
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Your mental definition of love needs work. Love is something that is perpetually in progress, not something that is done once you find 'The One'. You are still human, so you will find others out there who are also compatible with you over time. You need to decide what is most important to you, your wife and the life you have built, or getting your dick in lots of pussy. Personally, I would start focusing on the things you love about your wife. She really is a keeper.
 
wormie

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I am sitting here agreeing with everything you guys are saying and at the same time my brain is absolutely occupied with the thoughts of seeing and talking to "her". The absolute loss of any sort of emotional control is by far the worst part of this whole thing. Its terrifying and exciting and makes no fucking sense.

Also for those that said this is just my dick thinking, its really not. At least not entirely. Cad identified it pretty well, I feel a connection with her that I do not feel with my wife and not sure I ever felt. And that is driving my attraction more than anything else.
 
Gavinmad

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wormie_sl said:
I am sitting here agreeing with everything you guys are saying and at the same time my brain is absolutely occupied with the thoughts of seeing and talking to "her". The absolute loss of any sort of emotional control is by far the worst part of this whole thing. Its terrifying and exciting and makes no fucking sense.

Also for those that said this is just my dick thinking, its really not. At least not entirely. Cad identified it pretty well, I feel a connection with her that I do not feel with my wife and not sure I ever felt. And that is driving my attraction more than anything else.
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Call in and drop the class right now. Not joking.
 
Cad

Cad

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wormie_sl said:
I am sitting here agreeing with everything you guys are saying and at the same time my brain is absolutely occupied with the thoughts of seeing and talking to "her". The absolute loss of any sort of emotional control is by far the worst part of this whole thing. Its terrifying and exciting and makes no fucking sense.
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New relationship energy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Short term "connection" with a chick you barely know means jack shit, honestly.
 
iannis

iannis

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Shit man, it's actually perfectly fine to make a new friend.

You've just got to find a way to not wanna fuck her, is all.

Pretend like she has a dick or something. Or Th' Herp.

Edit: I've only done it twice. It worked once and it weirded her out once... but sometimes (50%!) just some direct fucking honesty seems to do the trick. "Look, I like you and I think we can be friends. But you're gonna have to give me a few days because honestly right now... and it's not a proposistion or anything serious at all but... all I really wanna do is fuck you." Cathy gave me a few days, and we've been pretty good friends.
 
moonarchia

moonarchia

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Just stop talking to the new girl and erase her from your phone. Lust will fade in short order, and rational thought will regain control. If you still want random pussy after that, then you know where to find it. Connections are ephemeral, and it's time to build one with your wife if it's something you crave. Relationships require work. Always and forever. Otherwise they fade and die, and cause lots of pain to everyone involved.
 
wormie

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Gavinmad_sl said:
Call in and drop the class right now. Not joking.
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Not an option. We planned our schedules in a manner where all my classes are with her. This was done before any of this shit started, we were just study buddies then. I cant drop anything without jeopardizing my future plans. And those plans take precedence over everything.
 
Gravy

Gravy

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wormie_sl said:
But if someone has some insight into something like this, it is very welcomed.
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I've been in a similar situation (and our wives sound very similar as well) so I'll give you my point of view.

You are going to fuck this up. You will regret it. You'll find out that what you have now with your wife is nearly impossible to find with another human being.





Or just do what Soy said and rape yourself before class.
 
Cad

Cad

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wormie_sl said:
Not an option. We planned our schedules in a manner where all my classes are with her. This was done before any of this shit started, we were just study buddies then. I cant drop anything without jeopardizing my future plans. And those plans take precedence over everything.
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I don't think any future plan is worth jeopardizing your marriage.
 
Khane

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Go watch Divorce Corp. on Netflix and see if you still want to bang this broad. Actually nevermind... that's a terrible idea. Your wife will see your recently viewed list and be all "WTF is this shit?!" then you'll get into an argument, meet this other chick for a drink to vent, and end up smangin' in your car somewhere.

The only option is to move to Alaska and forget everything exists. Time to live off the land wormie. It's the only option.
 
moonarchia

moonarchia

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Yeah, school schedules can be rearranged. In this case they should be. It's still early enough in the semester to drop without taking a hit to credits and GPA. So what if it puts you back a few months? You aren't struggling financially, because of your awesome wife, so man up and do it. This is all you just getting flustered over a new woman you want to bang, nothing more, nothing less. Remove the temptation. Reassess things in the cold light of reason, and if you really are missing something from your relationship with your wife, at least give her a chance to fix it with you.
 
wormie

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Cad_sl said:
I don't think any future plan is worth jeopardizing your marriage.
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I disagree. And my wife knows this. And some of her plans take precedence over me as well. I mean, she left for a year to go live across country in pursuit of her goals, knowing full well what she and I were risking.

Dropping classes is not an option. Not being a stupid emotional vagina is, I am going to go with that plan and ignore the other girl.
 
Gavinmad

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wormie_sl said:
We planned our schedules in a manner where all my classes are with her.
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Fuck dude. I was gonna post a fullretard.jpg but I guess that isn't really fair if you did all the schedule stuff before you fell for this chick. Maybe you need to talk to this chick, lead the conversation in the direction of the way you two act towards one another, and then unequivocally say that you aren't going to be unfaithful to your wife. That gives her the out of saying something about how she wasnt interested in you that way, and you can act all embarrassed and say oops guess i misread you glad that's cleared up, and then you guys can awkwardly continue to be study buddies for at least the rest of the semester.

If that isn't an option for whatever reason, maybe you have to do something truly unthinkable and tell your wife about the situation. Tell her that you're infatuated with this chick and don't know how to deal with it, but cutting ties isn't an option because of your school schedule, while making it very clear to her that you want her and nobody else. I mean my gut tells me that talking to your wife is definitely a last resort, but maybe the actually married people can weigh in better than I can.
 
Soygen

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Gavinmad_sl said:
Tell her that you're infatuated with this chick and don't know how to deal with it, but cutting ties isn't an option because of your school schedule, while making it very clear to her that you want her and nobody else. I mean my gut tells me that talking to your wife is definitely a last resort, but maybe the actually married people can weigh in better than I can.
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This is not a last resort. This is a "Don't do that."
 
Khane

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I don't think having a "let's just be friends" conversation ever really works out. It's much easier said than done.
 
Gavinmad

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Soygen_sl said:
This is not a last resort. This is a "Don't do that."
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I mean I sorta figured, but if relationships can survive actual cheating, surely they can survive a husband admitting there is a temptation in his life and asking his wife for help resisting it. I mean Blazin's marriage survived his wife finding out he was doing the whole 'emotional cheating' thing with Ravvenn, and at worst this is like that except from the way Wormie has described it, they aren't at the 'emotional cheating' level.
 
Cad

Cad

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Soygen_sl said:
This is not a last resort. This is a "Don't do that."
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It'd be better to fuck her and get caught than it would be to have some heart to heart about the amazing connection you have with some broad even if you never touched her.
 
Khane

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Gavinmad_sl said:
I mean I sorta figured, but if relationships can survive actual cheating, surely they can survive a husband admitting there is a temptation in his life and asking his wife for help resisting it. I mean Blazin's marriage survived his wife finding out he was doing the whole 'emotional cheating' thing with Ravvenn, and at worst this is like that except from the way Wormie has described it, they aren't at the 'emotional cheating' level.
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It's easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. Not that he'd be asking for permission to fuck her. But women's brains are incomprehensible.
 
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