Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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*bro hug*
That's the shits man. Sounds like you made the right decision. Hope your kids don't have any lasting damage from that bitch.
Majority of my friends have had destination weddings. It's been damn near one a year for the past 6-7 years. Thankfully it seems to be over with now. They can definitely be fun with the right group of friends. All the ones I went to were fun and I don't regret going. But after awhile you start getting sick of your vacation time being monopolized by your friends' wedding plans. As far as cost goes, they were all around $1,800-2,400 CDN for 1 week all inclusive stays per person. One was in Costa Rica (nicest and most expensive), two were in Jamaica (cheapest and shittiest, fuck that entire country man, although Negril is not bad), and one in Mexico (Playa Del Carmen, nearly as expensive as Costa Rica).Alex_sl said:
They're definitely a love or hate thing for a lot of people. Thing is, you can't really feel any animosity towards the married couple, because if you don't want to spend the time or money, then you just don't go. The whole concept of a destination wedding is that the couple is basically saying "it's okay, you don't have to come". Personally I'm just not a big fan of all inclusives in the first place. You get back from one and people ask "oh, how was Costa Rica" or whatever, and unless you made a concerted effort to leave your resort every day, the only valid response is "pretty much the same as every other all inclusive in the Caribbean". Although maybe that's not true, as the two Jamaican ones I left the country with no illusions as to why it's such a shithole: the people. Fuck Jamaicans man, seriously, most of them even at the resorts are lazy, rude assholes. Meanwhile in Mexico and Costa Rica the staff are for the most part amazing.
Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
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I've literally been to every island in the Caribbean and the service from the locals is always universally bad unless you stay at the Ritz/4Seasons, and that's only because those hotels have to fly in foreigners to work there because the locals are unsalvageable from a customer service standpoint. Rude, dismissive, slow, and entirely reactive instead of proactive sums up the locals in all the Caribbean countries except for St-Barth's, and that's because they hire people from France to work the restaurants/resorts. I haven't been, but a friend of mine that's travelled the whole world says the only place he's been to where the local service was even worse than the Caribbean was Africa, with certain places in Eastern Europe taking a distant 3rd. By far the best resort service you can get is in Asia. Every single employee is just dying to serve.
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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So I don't know Mr. Tarrant or any of you for that matter. However, after reading his remarks about what a supposed adult to whom he is/was espoused said about his children IN FRONT of his children, I wish to punch her right in the throat and then the ovaries and then again in the throat.
Cud
Lord Nagafen Raider
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I love that we have you here now and still hate that we have you here now. /sadhappy
Palum
what Suineg set it to
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Tarrant that sucks and is one of the hardest things to hear. You made the right call for your kids for sure, so take some solace in that fact. Also, your kids are old enough, I would perhaps at least consider being more honest. Having gone through similar 'parent washing' BS, I really came to resent that later in life more than the truth itself.
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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Thank you, we shall see how long that love lasts (ha after all the ltr talk in here - I crack me up). Anyway, I'm still trying to get through G's posts, some I re-read because they make me smile, I can hear him make bad puns (of course, I would have laughed at them) or quick sharp remarks. Surrounded by his things and reading his words helps me.
Of course I have stacks of old letters, cards and poetry he wrote me as well, but those get tear-stained whereas this screen does not.
Marriage worked for us. It was not always a walk in the park, but in the end; no matter what troubles we encountered, we knew that there was no one else with whom we would rather face those troubles than one another.
His being gone still doesn't seem real sometime....actually most of the time. I will walk in the house after work and think I will find him here in his office or at the stove making me something delicious. But he is not. His body is ashes and bone chips in a fucking box. His otherness is elsewhere. I am just sad.
Palum
what Suineg set it to
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I dunno, my hangup was always identifying besides real property/estate or kids why marriage is still so big. What point does signing a contract change the dynamics? I've seen marriages dissolved in only weeks and solid relationships with kids and everything for 50+ years together with no contract.
It just doesn't seem to have the weight or maybe social pressure it once did and I see most people thinking about divorce struggling with navigating the financial impact instead of making the best relationship decision. Crazy to me.
It just doesn't seem to have the weight or maybe social pressure it once did and I see most people thinking about divorce struggling with navigating the financial impact instead of making the best relationship decision. Crazy to me.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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If there was ever a moment of justifiable spousal abuse for me that would be it. A punch directly to the face. If anyone ever said something like that in front of my kid they would regret it. Not even trying to be a bad ass, I don't think I could control it.
Fifey
Trakanon Raider
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My ex would get pissy at me because I told her I'd never marry her. I told her, if she wanted it I'd have a commitment ceremony or whatever but that wasn't what she wanted, had to be marriage.
It's just something that's drilled into people's heads at an early age.
If I wasn't religious we probably wouldn't have married. Even being religious at my current age and my philosophy I would probably not if my wife died. I need someone in my life I just wouldn't do the legal aspect.
Palum
what Suineg set it to
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I guess. Just every single situation I come up with friends/family over this, they raise all these questions and my answer never changes. It's kind of like when they pull the religion card and ask you how you know not to stab a baby in the face because you don't have Jesus to tell you not to... they can't divorce (haha pun) reality from the ceremony/belief. It's the same with marriage questions "well what's to prevent you from just leaving her at any time!" as if they hadn't literally just done that in their first marriage after having an affair. "That was different I found my soul mate!" L O L, ok. It's all hypocrites and hypotheticals, it has the same stink as the faux religious bullshit so I don't like it.
BrutulTM
Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
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I'm not saying they're not fun, but you're putting your family in a shitty situation where they have to either miss a major family event or blow their whole vacation budget for the year on going to a place they may or may not want to go on a date that may or may not be good for them. Sure they can just skip it, but a lot of them will feel guilty about it even if you tell them not to. If you want to take a vacation with your family you can, but a wedding is a shitty vacation, especially when you are basically guilt-ed into going. Dick move. Not as bad if most of your family is wealthy but still shitty IMO.
I dunno maybe a celebration of the union between two people for the rest of their lives?
Nester
Vyemm Raider
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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Also missed the "pulling the trigger post" but holy fuck that is goddamn awful, Tarrant. No child deserves to have that happen to them and I hope this doesn't do lasting damage to them. Glad you decided to leave for good now and I hope you and your kids can forget this bitch. That shit is just inexcusable.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Fifey
Trakanon Raider
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You can do that without involving the government and paying stupid amounts of money towards a rackrt industry.
You can do that while involving the government and paying stupid amounts of money towards a racket industry also.