Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Kirun

Kirun

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Khane_sl said:
Okay but what about queefs?
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Queefing isn't my favorite, but I can at least tolerate it and not be weirded out by it. Plus, you'd think I wouldn't have as much of a problem with farting due to how much I love giving it to my wife's turdcutter, but full on beefing..

 
Fifey

Fifey

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All moved into my new place bros, let the hermit life begin.

Also, girls farting is funny a lot of the times. Be a man.
 
Hoss

Hoss

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Kirun_sl said:
Chicks just ripping ass in front of anyone, especially men, is fucking disgusting. I told my wife under no uncertain terms that if she ever started that shit, it was immediate grounds for divorce. To this day, I've never heard her fart in front of me. I've smelled things that I know she was the culprit of, but I've never heard her just haul off, lift a leg, and let rip. That shit is fucking nasty and no matter how hot the chick is, it'd be an immediate boner kill forever.

PS. Yes, I fart like a goddamn didgeridoo in front of her. Yes, I know it's a double standard and I don't give a fuck. Act like a goddamn lady, pigs.
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I obviously didn't mean girl farts. A girl should not fart or shit at all unless she's sick or pregnant. Your chick shouldn't be farting in front of you until you put a baby in her.
 
Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

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"Holding back-This option is obviously alluring, however it holds significant drawbacks for the individual such as discomfort and even pain, bloating, dyspepsia and pyrosis just to name but a few resulting abdominal symptoms. Moreover problems resulting from the required concentration to maintain such control may even result in subsequent stress symptoms. Furthermore the ability to restrain a fart may be impaired by flatus incontinence. Persons susceptible to such flatus incontinence may be especially vulnerable to the effect of coughing and sneezing.

On a more serious note, the physiological responses to distended intestine are elevated blood pressure and pulse, and reduced oxygenation of the blood, which can be serious for people already at risk for cardiovascular complications. Furthermore, flatus retention has been suggested as a major factor in the origin of sigmoid diverticular disease." (Thanks to cut and paste
cool.png
from the New Zealand Journal of Medicine - there are VERY few "What happens if I hold in a Fart?" articles/studies out there.)



 
Deathwing

Deathwing

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Kirun_sl said:
Queefing isn't my favorite, but I can at least tolerate it and not be weirded out by it. Plus, you'd think I wouldn't have as much of a problem with farting due to how much I love giving it to my wife's turdcutter, but full on beefing..

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You're ok with artificially aerating her fart factory but not dealing the consequences?
 
K

Kedwyn

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Yeah I'd have to say it is quite odd to go and lick someone's poop chute but then be disgusted by a fart (which occurs at a time when you aren't tickling her dirty hole with your tongue). The double standard is a nice touch.
 
Hoss

Hoss

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Noodlemod_sl said:
I really don't care if my wife farts as long as it isn't in my face. You guys are weird
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I wish I could say a girl's never farted in my face. But,

Deathwing_sl said:
You're ok with artificially aerating her fart factory but not dealing the consequences?
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Yeah it happens. I've figured out the risk is a lot higher the more fingers I have in there. 1 finger does a good job of sealing it up. Try 2 or 3 though and there's too many gaps to get through.
 
Genjiro

Genjiro

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Kirun_sl said:
Chicks just ripping ass in front of anyone, especially men, is fucking disgusting. I told my wife under no uncertain terms that if she ever started that shit, it was immediate grounds for divorce. To this day, I've never heard her fart in front of me. I've smelled things that I know she was the culprit of, but I've never heard her just haul off, lift a leg, and let rip. That shit is fucking nasty and no matter how hot the chick is, it'd be an immediate boner kill forever.

PS. Yes, I fart like a goddamn didgeridoo in front of her. Yes, I know it's a double standard and I don't give a fuck. Act like a goddamn lady, pigs.
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Issues.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Watching my future ex wife pretend to be an adjusted person and be normal at all times like she did when we first got together (but didn't know it was an act) both angers me and rips me up inside wondering just why couldn't that have been how she was for the past 3+ years.

I'm also not handling the idea of reduced time with my son very well.

All in all, I feel like I'm losing my sanity and am beginning to spiral out of control with my emotions. My youngest still doesn't understand what's going on...yesterday out of the blue he came up to me, gave me a hug and told me I'm not a bad person. Where that came from I don't know but I excused myself to the bathroom and cried like a baby.
 
Burren

Burren

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Tarrant_sl said:
...My youngest still doesn't understand what's going on...yesterday out of the blue he came up to me, gave me a hug and told me I'm not a bad person. Where that came from I don't know but I excused myself to the bathroom and cried like a baby.
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/bro hug.

I've dealt with family issues like that for 19 years now. It hurts, but it'll get better.
 
moonarchia

moonarchia

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You'll adjust, Tarrant. Just keep a close eye on things with the son. If there is ever any sign of neglect or abuse, get the authorities involved immediately. Legal documentation and verification. Then file for full custody. Same thing if she loses her job. You may be able to do that right away given how recently she was in the hospital for psych help.
 
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