New movies that dont deserve their own thread.
- Thread starter Chukzombi
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Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Rajaah
Honorable Member
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Just watched Starfish (2018, I think). Got good reviews, high RT critic rating, medium RT audience rating.
Maybe I just didn't "get it" but I found that to be one of the most dull and pointless movies I've watched in a while. The whole thing is this teenage girl who is alone in the world, moping around while an apparent alien invasion has ended civilization or something. She never leaves the house, dishes are piling up, and has a mopey expression for the entire movie while listening to an admittedly good (but very teenagery emotive music) soundtrack.
None of it makes much sense, it bends over backwards to be arthouse, etc.
Never explains what actually happened in the outside world, revolves entirely around this mopey teenager milling around and having feelings.
I guess it's supposed to be an allegory for what it's like to be monumentally depressed? Like, when it feels like the world is ending?
If it had come out in 2020+ it'd at least make some sense since I could chalk it up to a COVID allegory (the way the girl never leaves the house and thinks there's an alien menace outside that'll get her).
I feel like there are a lot of people who probably find this movie to be totally incredible because of what it represents to them personally. For me it was just watching this girl mope around for 2 hours and it got excruciating after a while. I wanted to know what else was going on in the world, outside of whatever room she was holed up in. But nope, none of that mattered, it just revolved around this girl. Felt like the ultimate teenage brain allegory, this movie.
Maybe I just didn't "get it" but I found that to be one of the most dull and pointless movies I've watched in a while. The whole thing is this teenage girl who is alone in the world, moping around while an apparent alien invasion has ended civilization or something. She never leaves the house, dishes are piling up, and has a mopey expression for the entire movie while listening to an admittedly good (but very teenagery emotive music) soundtrack.
None of it makes much sense, it bends over backwards to be arthouse, etc.
Never explains what actually happened in the outside world, revolves entirely around this mopey teenager milling around and having feelings.
I guess it's supposed to be an allegory for what it's like to be monumentally depressed? Like, when it feels like the world is ending?
If it had come out in 2020+ it'd at least make some sense since I could chalk it up to a COVID allegory (the way the girl never leaves the house and thinks there's an alien menace outside that'll get her).
I feel like there are a lot of people who probably find this movie to be totally incredible because of what it represents to them personally. For me it was just watching this girl mope around for 2 hours and it got excruciating after a while. I wanted to know what else was going on in the world, outside of whatever room she was holed up in. But nope, none of that mattered, it just revolved around this girl. Felt like the ultimate teenage brain allegory, this movie.
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Intrinsic
Person of Whiteness
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Chukzombi
Millie's Staff Member
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monica, you crazee. that shit was fun back in the day. years later i found out this was actually a Conan crossover film but they didnt have the rights to call him Conan, so he was just some rando dude that shows up. all us kids knew that was King Conan. another thing i didnt know at the time, the evil queen was played by the same chick who was Conan's ride or die girlfriend, Valyria.
Goatface
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remember being really disappointed with red sonja and conan the destroyer when they came out. maybe seen them again once in all these years
Chanur
Shit Posting Professional
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Conan Destroyer lacks the quality, epic feel, and testosterone of the Barbarian but its still fun.
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Chukzombi
Millie's Staff Member
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i remember as a kid having a rating system for films. if it has lots of violence and tits then its still a good movie no matter what. of course if it has none of that stuff then its gotta be a really good film to make the cut. Arnie films had lots of violence and tits so his films were my favorites. Predator had no tits but it more than made up for it in violence and cheesey one liners. Conan 2 had no tits and crappy violence, so its not a good film. Grace Jones was too silly. i think her and WIlt Chamberlain didnt really have good roles and they felt superfluous. some studio head said, this movie needs black people. so they shoehorned those two in there.
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Goatface
Avatar of War Slayer
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i remember grace jones being huge around that time. think the best thing about the destroyer were some of the behind the scene stories, pretty sure she cracked wilt in the nuts. something i totally forgot, red sonja apparently has some tits (random dancer?) and is pg-13
Chukzombi
Millie's Staff Member
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i was a little kid, but i dont know one hit song she ever did and the only thing i know her from outside of Conan TD was she did the Honda Scooter commercials.
i think she was just famous for being famous.
oh wait, she did that shitty horror movie, Vamp.
Harshaw
Throbbing Member
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jayrebb
Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
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did mods finally crack down on ossoi? was wondering what to do with all these trash movies
anyone can scroll down releases and spam threads of junk nobody wants to watch. while posting a "review" of the movie that just says something about foh big brains.
anyone can scroll down releases and spam threads of junk nobody wants to watch. while posting a "review" of the movie that just says something about foh big brains.
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