Parent Thread

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iannis

iannis

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chaos_sl said:
I realize I'm being a little Tanoomba, but it isn't rocket surgery. It is taking care of kids. Maybe it is because I have only used corporate places, I can't imagine paying them while they shut down their offices for two weeks for vacation. I just wouldn't want to get a provider where two weeks out of the year not only am I going to have to pay her to do nothing, but also find and pay another provider for those two weeks. Or even worse risk using two weeks of my own leave. I would find another provider.
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I don't think you're wrong, honestly. It is something that should probably be discussed as part of the arrangement before she goes and does it. Because she's got a fair case for asking for/taking those two weeks... it's not that... but at the same time that's not something that you just spring on people. If she's mom and popping a daycare she's not the only one. There are arrangements that could be made that provide for her vacation and don't push the entire burden off onto her customers. There's probably a better way for her to handle that. But what she's doing isn't repugnant. Just a tad coarse.
 
Falstaff

Falstaff

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My understanding of day care was that's how it works, you pay year round regardless. We have friends who are both teachers and they pay through the summer even though both are home and the kid doesn't go to day care.
 
Joeboo

Joeboo

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Any daycare worth a damn will have a waiting list a mile long, you have to keep paying to keep your kids spot.

There are also very strict laws and regulations regarding number of kids vs number of daycare employees, so daycares try to carefully balance the perfect numbers. If a daycare can have 4 kids per caretaker, they want to have EXACTLY 4 kids per caretaker to maximize profit. They don't want 10 kids and 4 employees while kids are pulled out for various reasons.

Think of it this way, if everyone was able to pull their kids out for the summer and not pay to keep their spot, the daycare would have to lay off half its employees during the summer, and the quality of the daycare as a whole would suffer, because the best employees could easily leave and go elsewhere that would employ them for a full 12 months of the year, not just 9.

Paying over the summer and during vacations means that the daycare is able to maintain its quality of service and not constantly lose their best employees to other daycares. If you find a daycare where you can just come and go as you please with no real commitment, I guarantee it's a terrible place.
 
lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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chaos_sl said:
I would find another provider, and at least where I live there is no shortage of them.
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Herein lies the difference. In this town, any licensed day care has a wicked long waiting list. Like if you get pregnant and want to use a day care, you better sign up for one the moment you know you're pregnant. Seriously, 6-8 month waiting period is about the norm here.
 
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etoille

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I mean I have an issue with the shutting down for 2 weeks thing because its supposed to be year round. My DC will have teacher days that are typically government holidays and that's just fine but 2 solid weeks? Go screw yourself - like any other business you are supposed to stagger employee vacation so your business doesn't shut down. I'm not going to be held hostage to your vacation schedule every year. So that kind of daycare would not be my choice at all.

As far as the paying to hold a spot - 100% expected. As lurkingdirk said - you want them to take a hit when they can fill the spot in a heartbeat? No?


Had another stomach virus from a friends kid we hung out with a week ago....I came down with it wed, the day before we were going to the beach with said friends for the weekend. I am so fucking over stomach viruses. I dropped like over 5 lbs. Ugh. Today's the first day I feel remotely normal.

On the upside, the kiddo has ended his solid foods strike. Gateway drug: jumbo lump crab. The ASL for "more" is a regular occurrence for more than just food now.
 
lindz

lindz

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You get sick constantly the first year or two your kids start school/daycare. They bring home so many germs. It was about 18 months for us, after that our immune systems were sufficiently built up but that initial bit, man colds every single month. It sucked.
 
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etoille

698
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lindz_sl said:
You get sick constantly the first year or two your kids start school/daycare. They bring home so many germs. It was about 18 months for us, after that our immune systems were sufficiently built up but that initial bit, man colds every single month. It sucked.
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yeah the crappy part was that this one didn't even come from daycare! but its all good. You could just say "You get sick constantly the first year or two you have kids."
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Falstaff

Falstaff

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You could but that certainly isn't true for the majority. I've yet to be sick from my kid and she's 11 months old. Other than a couple runny noses and 1 ear infection, she's never had a fever over 100.1 and that was after her first set of immunizations.
 
D

Draegan_sl

2 Minutes Hate
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My kid has two bottom teeth and I think she has one coming in up top, but it hasn't broken through yet. She's 13 months. There is going to be a teethsplosion soon and I'm not looking forward to it.

I also made a big mistake with putting my kid to sleep every night. I've been letting her fall asleep in my arms every night before I put her down. Putting her down resulted in screaming for a long time. Now she is weening her night feeding from mom and I think I have to ween her into going to sleep in her crib rather than being held.

Ho boy. Last night mom did it just fine and I actually had a normal evening instead of wrestling with the kid to sleep for 2 hours.
 
lindz

lindz

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My 2 year old has moved from won't sleep in her bed at night, to won't sleep without holding onto me. Driving me nuts. I put her to bed, she screams and comes to me, falls asleep on my lap, I put her to bed, she screams comes downstairs again and sleeps on my lap again. Doing this at nap time too.

Everything else is completely normal. Just the sleeping issues. Driving me crazy though.
 
Cad

Cad

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Etoille_sl said:
I mean I have an issue with the shutting down for 2 weeks thing because its supposed to be year round. My DC will have teacher days that are typically government holidays and that's just fine but 2 solid weeks? Go screw yourself - like any other business you are supposed to stagger employee vacation so your business doesn't shut down. I'm not going to be held hostage to your vacation schedule every year. So that kind of daycare would not be my choice at all.

As far as the paying to hold a spot - 100% expected. As lurkingdirk said - you want them to take a hit when they can fill the spot in a heartbeat? No?


Had another stomach virus from a friends kid we hung out with a week ago....I came down with it wed, the day before we were going to the beach with said friends for the weekend. I am so fucking over stomach viruses. I dropped like over 5 lbs. Ugh. Today's the first day I feel remotely normal.

On the upside, the kiddo has ended his solid foods strike. Gateway drug: jumbo lump crab. The ASL for "more" is a regular occurrence for more than just food now.
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My nanny takes 2 weeks vacation a year. I pay an SMU girl during her summer break to run the kids to activities and the park etc during the nanny's vacation. I also pay the nanny during her vacation, like any normal employee.

It's just the cost of doing business. You want corporatized care of your kid so they adjust to your schedule, thats fine for you I guess. I want personal care in my home by people I choose. Costs a little more, but worth it.
 
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etoille

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Cad_sl said:
My nanny takes 2 weeks vacation a year. I pay an SMU girl during her summer break to run the kids to activities and the park etc during the nanny's vacation. I also pay the nanny during her vacation, like any normal employee.

It's just the cost of doing business. You want corporatized care of your kid so they adjust to your schedule, thats fine for you I guess. I want personal care in my home by people I choose. Costs a little more, but worth it.
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LOL MY CHILDREARING OPTIONS ARE AWESUM. URS ARE OK TOO I GUESS.


See further obnoxious parenting wars. We weren't talking about nannies we were talking about daycares. So yes, corporatized care as you put it. The arrangement you described with nannies is how most handle it and how I would too if I had gone that route. But that wasn't the question was it? Christ I thought women were bad with the passive aggressive my parenting choices are better than yours.

PS - we checked into the costs of an au pair or nanny. Funnily enough my corporatized care (ranked exceptionally highly in the high COL area we are in) cost about the same. I mean I just like paying for something I know I'll get an ROI from like socialization, curriculum, early start on learning, independence...if you just want a nanny because its in your home and you feel that you have more control over people watching your kid that's fine for you I guess. (
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Vandyn

Vandyn

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It's true your kid will get everything and anything those first years, more if they are in daycare. The good news is by the time they hit elementary school they are pretty much immune to most things. My daughter hardly gets anything anymore outside of allergy sniffles. You can tell which kids didn't go to daycare though because they get sick a lot. It's also made my daughter obsessive with always washing her hands ( something that is not stressed once they hit kindergarten).
 
chaos

chaos

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I wish I could afford day care for all of my kids. Fortunately my oldest starts kindergarten this fall, and I am considering putting my middle girl in day care. That only leaves my youngest, who might qualify for the state assisted preschool due to her speech issues. Which, you know, I don't want, but whatever helps her. All 3 kids together was about 2400 per month, if my youngest doesn't qualify I will have to see, she is older now so i should be cheaper so I am hoping I can get it down to 1200 or so per month.
 
Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
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Etoille_sl said:
LOL MY CHILDREARING OPTIONS ARE AWESUM. URS ARE OK TOO I GUESS.


See further obnoxious parenting wars. We weren't talking about nannies we were talking about daycares. So yes, corporatized care as you put it. The arrangement you described with nannies is how most handle it and how I would too if I had gone that route. But that wasn't the question was it? Christ I thought women were bad with the passive aggressive my parenting choices are better than yours.

PS - we checked into the costs of an au pair or nanny. Funnily enough my corporatized care (ranked exceptionally highly in the high COL area we are in) cost about the same. I mean I just like paying for something I know I'll get an ROI from like socialization, curriculum, early start on learning, independence...if you just want a nanny because its in your home and you feel that you have more control over people watching your kid that's fine for you I guess. (
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There was no kind of insult to what I said. There's advantages to day care, as you pointed out. There's also advantages to home care.

I was just pointing out the paid vacation thing while they aren't working actually is common. If you have a day care where it's just one or two ladies with 5-10 kids, they are going to take vacation too. If you go with a bigger place where it is more corporatized, they will have overlap, but that has cost and consequences too.

Sheesh.

Chaos: one big advantage to home care is they don't really charge per-kid. 1 kid costs about the same as 3. Which is nice if you have multiples.
 
chaos

chaos

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Yeah we looked into that. Anyone we found either charged about what the day care charged or wanted a live-in situation which we can't do either due to space. It really sucks being in this situation, my wife had to pass up a pretty good opportunity and stay home which depressed the shit out of her. But there were just no options.
 
Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
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chaos_sl said:
Yeah we looked into that. Anyone we found either charged about what the day care charged or wanted a live-in situation which we can't do either due to space. It really sucks being in this situation, my wife had to pass up a pretty good opportunity and stay home which depressed the shit out of her. But there were just no options.
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Having a live in is great. We just have her sleeping in the baby's room with the baby. Works out great since if he cries at night she'll get him. (Which he doesn't really anymore, he gets up maybe once a night.)
 
Falstaff

Falstaff

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Etoille_sl said:
LOL MY CHILDREARING OPTIONS ARE AWESUM. URS ARE OK TOO I GUESS.


See further obnoxious parenting wars. We weren't talking about nannies we were talking about daycares. So yes, corporatized care as you put it. The arrangement you described with nannies is how most handle it and how I would too if I had gone that route. But that wasn't the question was it? Christ I thought women were bad with the passive aggressive my parenting choices are better than yours.

PS - we checked into the costs of an au pair or nanny. Funnily enough my corporatized care (ranked exceptionally highly in the high COL area we are in) cost about the same. I mean I just like paying for something I know I'll get an ROI from like socialization, curriculum, early start on learning, independence...if you just want a nanny because its in your home and you feel that you have more control over people watching your kid that's fine for you I guess. (
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You have been the queen of "look at me and how awesome my life is!!" the past few months, can't believe you are coming down on Cad so hard.

And I say that with peace and love before you destroy my delicate sensibilities on the internet.
 
lindz

lindz

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Chaos, definitely see about the state stuff for your youngest. My middle girl barely qualified, but she did and has been in a state funded program for a year and a half now. It's helped her a lot and made things for me a lot easier. She still has an IEP, and will be going into kindergarten with it in the fall so hopefully she'll continue getting the support she needs in a standard classroom.
 
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