Parent Thread

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!

Vandyn

Blackwing Lair Raider
3,656
1,382
Who ever told me that at 4 month, the new born will sleep through out the night lied to my face. 4 months still nightly 4 AM feeding sessions =(
It's amazing how this shit becomes a problem again when they turn 6-8 due to nightmares/night terrors. Fortunately it's not every night.
 

Adebisi

Clump of Cells
<Silver Donator>
27,713
32,825
My oldest kid didn't sleep through the night til 9 months.
Youngest kid was sleeping through the night before 6 weeks.

Kids write their own rulebooks.
 

Remit_sl

shitlord
521
-1
My 3.5yo has slept through the night <20 times. Last night she was up every 45 minutes. Reasons why I have 1 kid and only 1 kid.
 

opiate82

Bronze Squire
3,078
5
My 5 month old is now going to bed at 7:00pm and sleeping till 7:30am. Once or twice a week she will wake up once sometime in the middle of the night which usually requires a diaper change, but otherwise it has been glorious.

We try to keep a really good routine, same nap times every day, same bedtime routine (bath, book, boob, bed), etc. We started crib training at 4 months and that first week was pretty brutal, decided to go with the Ferber method which meant lots of sitting there listening to your baby cry which was hard, but now that we got past the bad part it has been awesome. Probably the hardest part was reading ten-thousand different opinions on how to crib-train your child and deciding which way was best for us.
 

Joeboo

Molten Core Raider
8,157
140
Well, its officially over, we had a good run while it lasted.

Kiddo has his first cold...almost made it to 2 without getting sick, just needed a couple more months. I think it's probably from the Super Bowl party that we went to last weekend, there was a good half dozen snotty little kids there that he was playing with.

Last night was brutal, he couldn't breathe through his nose at all, so kept waking up about every hour, screaming and crying. Nobody in our house got any sleep. I'll be chugging coffee like crazy today.
 

Falstaff

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
8,399
3,331
First time being sick? Wtf does he never interact with any other kids?

When our daughter spends the day with almost any of her little cousins it's practically guaranteed she'll get a cold or something.

Buy a snot sucker. They are lifesavers.
 

Crone

Bronze Baronet of the Realm
9,714
3,211
First time being sick? Wtf does he never interact with any other kids?

When our daughter spends the day with almost any of her little cousins it's practically guaranteed she'll get a cold or something.

Buy a snot sucker. They are lifesavers.
And from experience from my wife's dumb facebook friends asking questions... no you don't fucking suck the snot into your own mouth. It has a filter for that.
 

Joeboo

Molten Core Raider
8,157
140
First time being sick? Wtf does he never interact with any other kids?

When our daughter spends the day with almost any of her little cousins it's practically guaranteed she'll get a cold or something.

Buy a snot sucker. They are lifesavers.
Hah, he does interact with a few neighbor kids once in a while, and his nearby cousins who are 5 and 8, but he doesn't go to daycare or anything yet, he stays with grandma every day, so that's the big difference maker right there. This might have been the first time he was around 5+ kids near his own age. He's been to his cousins birthday parties and events, but those are always older kids, he doesn't really "play" with them, he just follows them around in awe.
 

Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
9,262
36,805
I laughed long and hard when my brother told me this. His wife was in another room with their son who is 3 and change.

Nathaniel! You just farted in my open mouth!

They were over the other day and Nate was sitting on my lap playing some Minecraft. He hops off and turns around proudly exclaimed HAHA! I FARTED ON YOUR LAP!! I think a Dutch Oven is in order for pay back.
 

Xarpolis

Life's a Dream
14,643
16,328
Before my daughter was a year old, back when she was still using furniture to hold her up as she walked around, I was getting her ready for a bath. She was holding onto the side of the bath tub (that's where we kept her baby bath thing) watching as the running water filled it up for her. I was sitting on the floor behind her and I leaned forward to check the water level and she farted. It wasn't right in my face, but it was close enough and it stunk. She won that round.
 

Arative

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
3,050
4,739
My wife is afraid of all the measles shit going on, especially since my son is too young to get the vaccine and she's a teacher in a school with kids who aren't vaccinated. She's even afraid to fly now because of it.
 

Xarpolis

Life's a Dream
14,643
16,328
A bunch of cunt parents taking the dumb word of Jenny McCarthy on the safety of their children. Fools.
The parents of these unvaccinated children are putting all of their trust in the herd style immunization. If most of the herd is vaccinated, there's no way my child will be singled out!
Unfortunately, that ideology breaks down when there are plenty of stupid parents with kids that are unvaccinated.

Assholes. The school districts really should put a "vaccination required for all students" mandate. You can choose not to, but then you're also choosing to educate your child yourself.
 

lindz

#DDs
1,201
63
Thankfully our school district does require vaccines. When my oldest daughter had one vaccine too early they asked us to go get it redone. They still sent out a notice about the measles thing though.

It shouldn't even be a problem these days. People are so stupid.
 

Arative

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
3,050
4,739
There are 8 cases of measles in Chicago, 2 adults and 6 infants. All of who are too young to get vaccinated. That really freaked her out. Hopefully it will die down soon.
 

Crone

Bronze Baronet of the Realm
9,714
3,211
I should warn, the video says the F word a lot, so don't blast it around the office.

 

Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
9,262
36,805
Before my daughter was a year old, back when she was still using furniture to hold her up as she walked around, I was getting her ready for a bath. She was holding onto the side of the bath tub (that's where we kept her baby bath thing) watching as the running water filled it up for her. I was sitting on the floor behind her and I leaned forward to check the water level and she farted. It wasn't right in my face, but it was close enough and it stunk. She won that round.
God damn that is hilarious! Sharing that with my brother.
I also heard another story from the other night. Apparently this was yelled in the house.

"Nathaniel! You just farted into my open mouth!"

I died because it sure as hell wasn't an accident and I can picture it happening.
 

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
<Gold Donor>
47,358
80,735
Kid is getting fat, I'm thinking about putting my wife on a ketogenic diet.

LiuqXQI.jpg
 

Draegan_sl

2 Minutes Hate
10,034
3
My kid lost about 10% body weight in the hospital which is on the high end of the average range. He's already gained it back and his hair is growing already. I don't know but I think we see teeth. Either my wife has mutant powered breasts or my son is going to be a big mother fucker.