Parent Thread

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Woefully Inept

Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
9,266
36,851
Man their isn't much of a better feeling than when your little guy wakes up in the morning and the first thing he seed is you and he just smiles huge and starts giggling and gets excited. You know you're doing something right. Feels good man.
 
Gavinmad

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
43,738
52,289
Tred_sl said:
Man their isn't much of a better feeling than when your little guy wakes up in the morning and the first thing he seed is you and he just smiles huge and starts giggling and gets excited. You know you're doing something right. Feels good man.
Click to expand...
On the other hand, when the first thing you hear from one of your nieces in the morning is 'doe away', it makes you wonder if you can find a sweatshop to sell her to. Feels bad man.
 
Joeboo

Joeboo

Molten Core Raider
8,157
140
Tred_sl said:
Man their isn't much of a better feeling than when your little guy wakes up in the morning and the first thing he seed is you and he just smiles huge and starts giggling and gets excited. You know you're doing something right. Feels good man.
Click to expand...
Our two year old is still in a crib, so we go and get him out each morning. Here a couple weeks ago he woke up screaming in the middle of the night, and apparently my wife went and got him and went and laid down with him in the guest bedroom(normal queen-sized bed). My wife always wakes up first for work, while me and the kiddo sleep another hour or two. Wife leaves for work, I vaguely remember her leaving, and I go back to sleep.

Fast-forward an hour or so and I hear "daddy" whispered right next to my head, I almost can't tell if I actually heard it, or if it was a dream, but it scares the CRAP out of me and my eyes open wide. I'm laying on my stomach, and I'm staring right towards the side of the bed, and all I can see are eyes, and the top half of a toddlers head staring straight at me, about 6 inches from my face. Apparently my kid woke up, got out of the normal bed, then walked into my bedroom and stood right at the side of the bed...just staring at me. Who knows how long. Looking back at it I laugh, but it scared the hell out of me at the time.

Kids are weird
 
fred sanford

fred sanford

<Gold Donor>
1,718
5,017
joeboo_sl said:
Our two year old is still in a crib, so we go and get him out each morning. Here a couple weeks ago he woke up screaming in the middle of the night, and apparently my wife went and got him and went and laid down with him in the guest bedroom(normal queen-sized bed). My wife always wakes up first for work, while me and the kiddo sleep another hour or two. Wife leaves for work, I vaguely remember her leaving, and I go back to sleep.

Fast-forward an hour or so and I hear "daddy" whispered right next to my head, I almost can't tell if I actually heard it, or if it was a dream, but it scares the CRAP out of me and my eyes open wide. I'm laying on my stomach, and I'm staring right towards the side of the bed, and all I can see are eyes, and the top half of a toddlers head staring straight at me, about 6 inches from my face. Apparently my kid woke up, got out of the normal bed, then walked into my bedroom and stood right at the side of the bed...just staring at me. Who knows how long. Looking back at it I laugh, but it scared the hell out of me at the time.

Kids are weird
Click to expand...
When we moved into our new house my 2yr old son's door didn't latch properly, but we thought it did. He sleeps in a toddler bed so we keep his door closed to prevent him from running around at night. Well at like 5AM I hear him calling to me so I get up and start dragging across the house to his room. As I'm passing the kitchen I hear 'daddy' coming from the kitchen and it made me spin around real quick because I thought he was in bed and I was hearing him from the monitor.

Turns out he got up wandered around in the dark looking for me.
 
mkopec

mkopec

<Gold Donor>
26,228
39,934
When my sons were like 4 and 6 we woke up one Saturday, kind of late, because we drank that Friday. Anyway, it was all quiet in the house, so I got worried. Usually the kids would wake us up first thing. So I go into the kitchen and on the dining table they had all sorts of cleaning products out, soaps, ajax, etc all in a big pile of mess on the table. "Just cleaning the table dad!" I almost fainted. But they survived and now are 11 and 13.
 
Woefully Inept

Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
9,266
36,851
Good lord seeing a pair of eyes like that would have startled the shit out of me.

note to self: install deadbolt on kids door
 
GuardianX

GuardianX

Perpetually Pessimistic
<Bronze Donator>
7,164
18,153
Well, wife and I had our first on May 5th. Was an interesting night, wife had some strange dream about going to visit her parents and forgetting our son at home. Like an hour or 2 later her water broke, he was breech the last 1/2 of the pregnancy and they already had her slated for a C-section. Was amazing how quickly it all happened from then on, we were admitted at 5ish AM and son was born at 1201.

I kinda feel stupid for not knowing sooner but she wasn't producing much milk and each nurse couldn't give less of a fuck as they each tried to get him to latch and he would give up after a couple seconds. At about 10 pm a "Lactation Consultant" came in and, again, couldn't be assed to really give much time to us, she came and went and nothing was done that helped. We went...about 24 hours before it really clicked that it wasn't going alright and I tried to grab anyone who could assist. Ended up bottle feeding him quite a bit after that, even now he is on about 90% formula but I am fine with that as he is happy, engaged and my wife doesn't want to murder people.

First 2 months he was doing the every 3 hours bit but at about 2+ months he started sleeping through the night if he has a nice feed before bed. Now he is active most of the day, I'm working from home right now and he is progressing through various things like rolling over.

I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm familiar with taking care of my youngest brother who has autism, so I wonder if my threshold for stuff is a tad higher. I can certainly see my wife getting flustered at things and I am learning his signs for things like tiredness. People keep talking about nightmare children and what not, I see my in-laws and their kids are insane, screaming at nearly anything and he just doesn't do that (yet?). Sure he has his moments but I think those moments are the language barrier between us and him, he wants food or to hang out with us and we want differently.

My only rant:

Having my Mother-In-Law here for 10 days after his birth was a nightmare. My wife was so stressed having her around. My number 1 suggestion to ANYONE looking to have kids or in the process, restrict people in your house to people you know will not be an emotional burden or added stress on a situation. We knew it was going to be a stress having her here to start but we were not prepared for how much stress she would add.

Kid having trouble latching for breast feeding? Not producing as much as you thought you would?

Why not invite a lady over to criticize you AS you are trying to feed! -_-

She fucking stood over her as she was already in a stressful situation critiquing her form mentioning things like, "Well I didn't have any trouble with you or your brother."
TrainWreck1.gif
 
Tuco

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
<Gold Donor>
47,389
80,850
My baby cries like a baby anytime we sit him down and don't pay attention to him. What can I do to make him more introverted?
 
fred sanford

fred sanford

<Gold Donor>
1,718
5,017
GuardianX_sl said:
Having my Mother-In-Law here for 10 days after his birth was a nightmare.
Click to expand...
God I can't stand having my mother in law over for an hour. I don't remember her being bad when she stayed over when our son was born, but then again we were on better terms at the time. We'll see how it goes in February when #2 arrives.
 
opiate82

opiate82

Bronze Squire
3,078
5
My MIL wanted to come stay with us after our kid was born. I actually like and get along with her but I was still said 'no way in hell.' Thankfully my wife was on board so it didn't turn into a fight. The biggest issue my wife has with situations like that is she always wants to make everyone happy so she hates saying no but I just told her to tell her mom I said no and make me the bad guy. It was kind of stupid because the in-laws only live 30 minutes away so it wasn't a situation where they were traveling across the country to see the kid or anything.

We actually were very limiting in our visitors for the first couple of weeks after our daughter was born. Having to constantly entertain visitors is more exhausting than dealing with a newborn imo. We just told people we were taking time to ourselves to settle in as a family and most understood.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,275
15,101
opiate82_sl said:
My MIL wanted to come stay with us after our kid was born. I actually like and get along with her but I was still said 'no way in hell.' Thankfully my wife was on board so it didn't turn into a fight. The biggest issue my wife has with situations like that is she always wants to make everyone happy so she hates saying no but I just told her to tell her mom I said no and make me the bad guy. It was kind of stupid because the in-laws only live 30 minutes away so it wasn't a situation where they were traveling across the country to see the kid or anything.

We actually were very limiting in our visitors for the first couple of weeks after our daughter was born. Having to constantly entertain visitors is more exhausting than dealing with a newborn imo. We just told people we were taking time to ourselves to settle in as a family and most understood.
Click to expand...
I can agree with that last part. Right now every friday, saturday, and sunday SOMEONE wants to come over to visit the kid. It wouldn't be so bad, but people like my mother want to visit every other weekend and her parents are the same. I understand everyone wants a bond with the kid, but we need time to ourselves as well. Right now I'm working from 6:30am (when I leave) until 6:30pm when I get home. I then spend a few hours trying to do things while also playing with the kid. By the time the weekend comes around I'm exhausted and it's not like we can even sleep in. Need a goddamn break from people.

On a positive note, the kid wants to sit up like a regular human all day. Don't even have to support his neck anymore. He decided he loves watching TV (call me a bad parent) so we put on despicable me. Guy probably had no idea what was going on but he lost his shit watching it in a good way. Just started screaming shit at the TV the whole time. He's talked before a little bit, but ever since that movie went on the guy hasn't stopped talking - I'm sure I'll get sick of it, but right now it's awesome. He's also trying to crawl and he's moved a little bit but nothing crazy. Holds his head up like a champ the whole time.
 
Gavinmad

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
43,738
52,289
I held my best friend's son the day she had him while she was still in the hospital. In fact, I almost held him before his own father did. After that I don't think I saw her again for at least a month or two because I ain't trying to get in her way when she has an infant. Hell I don't even remember how old her daughter was before the first time I met her, probably close to 6 months.
 
K

Kedwyn

Silver Squire
3,915
80
Its not joke when they get sick. New born (3 months or under) comes into the ER with fever of 100.5 or higher its a full on urine cath, blood work, flu swab and spinal tap. They don't fuck around what so ever. Doc in a box YMMV.

I understand the desire to be left the fuck alone when starting your new family. Not just from a social perspective but also the reality of not wanting them to get sick.
 
Gavinmad

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
43,738
52,289
Oh I white knighted the shit out of my friend one time. She had moved back in with her folks which was about a half hour away from me at the time. Her son had just gotten over the flu or whatever, but not before giving it to her, and he was still being super fussy since he had only just gotten over it. So at like 630 one morning she sends out this desperate text to several people asking for help, and my phone just happened to be right close to my bed that morning so it woke me up. I was at her house by 730 and nobody else even responded to her text until around 11. He insisted on being held all day, because he'd start pitching a fit otherwise, so I had to hold him practically nonstop for over 11 hours til his loser father finally showed up to take over.

My arm was so sore the next day I could barely move it, and the day after that I was puking and shitting my guts out courtesy of the flu that one of them gave me. Total misery, and it was even worse because she was over it the next day but I was sick for three.
 
Gravy

Gravy

Bronze Squire
4,918
454
Friends of ours just let us know that their 18yo boy, and 23yo girl have been saving money for the last two years to send them on a trip for their 25th anniversary.

The boy works part-time as a grocery stocker while going to college, and the girl is a bank teller. Not exactly pulling in the big bucks.

I was really impressed. Feels.
 
Gavinmad

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
43,738
52,289
Maybe my sister and I can do something similar for my parents 50th. I'm sure I could find a job at some point during the next 17 years right?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.