Parent Thread

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a_skeleton_03

<Banned>
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I don't mind that they are thorough, I prefer it really. And we are going through a place my insurance sent us to so they should cover the test I would think.
Yeah BCBS covered this for us. Talk to your insurance about a family advocate case worker. Basically it's a person we call and email about different options and they help walk us through it all for issues more complicated than a basic hospital visit.

I had one for cancer and now one for my daughter. They really assist on the best way to go about all the hurdles of the medical system.
 

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
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I don't mind that they are thorough, I prefer it really. And we are going through a place my insurance sent us to so they should cover the test I would think.
There's a not so fine line between thorough and unnecessary, but if this is similar to what a_skeleton_03's kid got, I guess it's fairly standard these days.
 

Vanderhoof

Trakanon Raider
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There was a period of time when way too many kids were given stimulants when they might not have had ADHD. They would give the kid a stimulant and, when the behaviors improved, they would use this behavior change to justify the diagnosis. Some kids respond well to non-pharmacological interventions and this can be better identified with in depth testing.
 

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
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52,291
Don't they have non-stimulant adhd medication? I know I tried Strattera briefly but I couldn't afford that ridiculous shit without insurance at the time. Dunno if that shit is ok for children but there has to be something.
 

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
46,618
214,561
So we use a very low dose of Strattera combined with a secondary medication. the Strattera helps to prevent the crash from Vivance around 4 PM. It's a non stimulant, and builds up in the system, and creates a consistent baseline. Vivance gets him through the day at school, Strattera prevents the crash at the end of the day. It takes time to get these things right.
 

Vanderhoof

Trakanon Raider
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Straterra is a non stimulant. Tenex/Intuniv is an option to. I've even seen kids taking Clonidine.

The testing is also helpful to determine if the parents want to medicate behavior. A lot of dipshits would prefer to have their kids on Risperdal than provide discipline.
 

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,656
Yeah I'm not talking hours, I'm talking minutes. I see her in the class, they give the kids a writing assignment. Which at this age is like "write this sentence" at most. Normally they write their names and home addresses. She can almost always do her name, sometimes her address. The sentence shit? Forget about it. She immediately loses focus, starts scribbling or whatever, or just gets up and refuses to do it. Other kids her age do it. But it's more than that. Like she'll be doing something and just lose track of it halfway through and move on to something else. I know you're saying "all kids do that" but she literally does that with EVERYTHING. You literally cannot bargain/incentivize/bribe her because the concept of getting a reward later means nothing to her, she's cold as fuck like that. I don't know, explaining every little nuance makes it sound like blowing isolated incidents out of proportion, but I'm saying it isn't isolated incidents, it is all day every day. Lately the behavior has gotten so extreme at school she is in danger of being kicked out. And she is supposed to start kindergarten in like 2 weeks.

The other day was the tipping point she loses it, start having a meltdown, striping her shoes and shirt off, tipping over chairs, throwing toys, kicked one of the directors in the shin. All this over some stupid writing that escalated to that. She gets worked up and like can't control her emotions, and it seems like she just does stuff impulsively without really thinking, idk. Something is up. Maybe not this, I really don't know. It could be me or the teachers, maybe we are doing something wrong. Bro, I just need help to keep this kid in school.

Gav, the multiple opinions may not work. The test isn't some simple thing, it is days of observations, questionnaires for us and the teachers and her pediatrician, interviews, etc. Our Dr said that if insurance doesn't cover it, it could cost $2k+.
That little girl does NOT like skrewl. If, as you've said before, she doesn't do this sort of shit as badly with you.

It might even just be something like one of the other kids picked on her for her handwriting one time. I mean something unfixable that you won't even be aware of and she probably can't even tell you about. Because you know, she's 5, and she doesn't realize that's where the impulse is coming from.

Or hell it might not be. Get her tested, there's no harm or "bad daddy" shame in that. But keep on top of it. I honestly don't think that medicating children from 6 to 18 is the way to go. And I know you don't either. But a tool is a tool and sometimes they can be applied properly and well. If she's on something for 8 months and becomes well adjusted, then you take her off for 4 and she goes back to being wild -- then it's hard to deny thatsomethingis going on in her cute little girl brainpart.
 

opiate82

Bronze Squire
3,078
5
We are less than a week away from our daughters first birthday, today she started taking multiple steps on her own (most was 6). I'm not too worried about her starting to walk as she already crawls around at light-speed and is into everything, but it is more a sign of just how quickly she is growing up.

The more scary part is that the words are also coming, she is going to be mouthing off to me in no time.
 

Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
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I gotta wonder guys and I really being an asshole (that she says I'm being) by expressing concern to my wife that when she starts work (teacher) again next week that I'll be taking care of our son all day and then all night? And I can already see her saying she's too tired when she gets home from work. At night she says she can never get back to sleep or she can't get him back to sleep. So I have to take all his feedings at night or she's a raging bitch because of no sleep but then I never get a good nights sleep ever either. It's fucking exhausting.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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My wife takes care of our son all day, and while I'm extremely tired after work I try to take care of him for most of the night - I mean, she's tired too. I'll feed him and change him and play with him until bed time. Sometimes I'll have to cook so she'll take him, or I might need to do something around the house so she'll take him, but I try to do as much as I can. I don't know what kind of mother wouldn't want to be holding their kid 24/7 - my wife has trouble going away for a couple hours and leaving him

Is he not sleeping through the night?

Right now ours is sleeping 10:00PM - 7:00AM. Sometimes he wakes up at 1 or 2AM and we need to just rock him a bit.
 

Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
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Right now he sleeps from 630-730 (depends how much he fights it) to 12-3am then he'll wake up 5-630am for the day.
He's easy for me. Wakes up, diaper change, feed him, and back to bed in bout 20-30 minutes. Her? She has a hard time getting him back to sleep. She's too wishy washy. I make it known to him on no uncertain terms it's bed time and he needs to go to sleep. He'll fuss for 10 minutes or so then goes to sleep. It may tak 2 or 3 tries to put him in his bed but it's usually a quick process.
She had to wake me up at 4 this morning because she had been trying for almost an hour. I have no idea what to do about that for her. She isn't always receptive and has already accused me of calling her a bad mother. Which is obviously bullshit. She has so many fucking insecurities that it's maddening sometimes.
And the other stuff I already cook all the meals and do all the laundry. I just don't do folding. :p Dishes just get done by whoever gets tired of the stack first.
She sure doesn't want him 24/7 like you're saying. So yeah I don't know.
 

Joeboo

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So...what exactly does your wife do if she doesn't take care of the kid, doesn't cook, doesn't do laundry? Do you both work, or is it only her? If she's the sole worker, then I can kinda see that. But even still, whether one spouse goes to work and one stays home to take care of the kid, those are both "jobs". You each do your own thing during the day, but then evenings/nights should be shared chores, IMHO.

I had a friend of mine who could never get that through his head. He worked, his wife stayed home with the kid. He treated the situation like "I work and bring home the bacon, so I shouldn't have to do ANYTHING at home". He refused to lift a finger once he got home from work. Wife had to do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. His wife divorced him after putting up with that for about 3 or 4 years.

Hell, I'd rather go to work than have to take care of a kid all day, work is actually easier(I work in an office). 8 hours with a small child is every bit as exhausting as 8 hours at a job(if not more)
 

Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
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She works full time reaching special ed to 9-12 graders. I work part time in a deli 10-15 hours a week. I haven't worked since my surgery though. When I do go back it'll be for a few hours in the evening or weekends.
She handles all the bills which I am grateful for. I cook because she sucks at it. If it's her turn to cook it's generally take out or pasta.
And I'm the opposite. I'd much rather deal with kids. She and friends are generally amazed at how good I am with kids. It helps when you're a gisnt man child yourself for the most part. Lol
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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She just has to realize you're working a job if you're raising the kid.

From your previous posts it sounds like your wife might have some issues though? I thought I recall hearing about serious depression and other things.
 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
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9,203
I dunno, if you aren't working then I wouldn't really see the problem with you being up at night with the kiddo. This doesn't mean she can't take him for a few hours after she gets home to give you a little time to clear your head, but if she's the one working full time she's the one that needs a full nights sleep.
 

Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
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She does have anxiety issues yes. She is seeing someone for them but I'm not entirely sure how helpful that counselor is being to be honest.
So I should be a zombie during the day while trying to care for a 5m old? That doesn't sound like a good plan to me.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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My opinion differs from Tarrant a bit. I do agree she probably should take priority on sleep, but not to the point where you feel you aren't getting any rest either.

Sometimes I'll wake up at 2AM and rock him to sleep while my wife is asleep, just because I know she is tired too.