Parent Thread

chaos said:

I know quite well what issues come along with autism.

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Its quite clear you know the issues. You have an autistic child. But do you know WHY those issues are issues?

Thats my point.

Big_w_powah said:

Its quite clear you know the issues. You have an autistic child. But do you know WHY those issues are issues?

Thats my point.

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Some of them, yes. Some of them no. Every behavior issue with autism is not rooted in sensory disorders, and every sensory disorder is not the same. My daughter, for instance, does not seem overly sensitive to touch/pain. Less so, even. But to sounds she displays some pretty severe auditory sensory issues, which have gotten less severe over time.

Some of the behavior/impulse stuff I don't understand. Neither does the psychologist, they aren't able to give a lot of satisfactory answers especially when talking about stuff like "why".

chaos said:

I never said "any discipline is abuse". I said using violence against a child is abuse. I said that it has well documented negative effects, and it does. I said that it was cruel to use against children with disorders impacting their ability to control their behavior, and it is, to me anyway. Which was the original argument.

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Oh Jesus Tap Dacing Christ. Violence, when broken down to mean "any physical action that may cause pain", is not abuse in and of itself.

Violence in the sense of trying to give the kid a black eye is abuse. Spanking a child hard enough to leave welts/bruises/cuts if you use a switch is abuse. A palm taken firmly to a child's backside is no more abuse than squirting a dog with a water bottle, and THAT is spanking. Its a physical action to invoke 2 things. The first thing is a negative connotation to the action which caused the spanking. The second is to invoke a sense of cause and effect, right and wrong.

Now, I wouldn't advocate spanking any child with sensory issues, who has dealt with abuse, or is anything other than your run of the mill child as previously stated; This is because proper spanking for children who fall outside of the norm can be perceived as ultra violent, can have the connection not made, cause a reaction similar to PTSD responses, etc. Not because spanking is inherently evil.

chaos said:

Some of them, yes. Some of them no. Every behavior issue with autism is not rooted in sensory disorders, and every sensory disorder is not the same. My daughter, for instance, does not seem overly sensitive to touch/pain. Less so, even. But to sounds she displays some pretty severe auditory sensory issues, which have gotten less severe over time.

Some of the behavior/impulse stuff I don't understand. Neither does the psychologist, they aren't able to give a lot of satisfactory answers especially when talking about stuff like "why".

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You're right, Sensory isn't everything. But the why isn't always the direct "I do this cuz that"..I've learned that with kids that go through the system. ...But I ask "why" in a more general sense.

And the "why" for impuse control is pretty goddamn simple; The world is different to them than us. The process of thinking things through works entirely different for them than us. Again, we can't define the details. See the big picture.

As @Cad says, absolutes are bullshit - that is my point and my question, but apparently we all are not reading shit today.

Autism is not just a simple or single thing like "Autism" was like we grew up, nor is ADHD just the super ultra crazy kid- there are spectrum, various degrees of severity, different types of issues under the umbrella - my question was - why would a method of discipline in controlling and guiding actions, where appropriate be just immediately taken off the table just because of a condition - where under the various differences, types, stages and severity - where a certain method may actually provide positive results, just like it can in "normal" kids.

Big_w_powah - as you state everyone and every kid is different- kids that have a long history from foster systems and come from known or unknown abuse require different discipline because, there are foundation issues. If I adopted an older kid like 4+ I would not advocate spankings because that kids foundation of discipline has already been set or broken- usually broken. Consistency, follow through and love are key to all successful discipline techniques.

As chaos says, rarely do you get an answer from the medical doc or the psyc doctor....because there are so many specific conditions and special cases, again everyone is different.

Responding to a spanking, understanding action/reaction and as Big_w_powah says- it establishes response - what if in specific situations and specific instances a spanking would actually help the kid who is acting out of whatever, what if that base human response and physical baseness is what they respond and understand? What if it could actually lead to letting them understand and grow to adapt better? What if that is a consequence and discipline they understand- but do not understand the social or economic concept of time out, or getting their toy taken away... what if they cannot process why time out is bad, but understand a spanking. What if they do not understand why you are taking their favorite toy away, the toy that to them is safety and security and consistency- but to us is just a random toy...what if ALL their toys are that... what if they do not understand that discipline? but would understand a simple spanking.


But no, its an absolute no, never to be considered or even thought of because its "abuse" and that's bull.

It isn't evil, it's just harmful. That's not even me saying that, who the fuck am I? That's scientific consensus.

Like I said, I'm not judging you or anyone. I'm in no position to judge anyone's parenting. But yeah, to me it's an absolute.

Soygen said:

But what if after your daughter steals your car, she comes home and has the nuclear launch codes. She then starts to enter them into her computer(that she used to hack the government). You can stop nuclear war if you hit her. Do you hit her?

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PISTOL MOTHER FUCKING WHIP

Soygen said:

But what if after your daughter steals your car, she comes home and has the nuclear launch codes. She then starts to enter them into her computer(that she used to hack the government). You can stop nuclear war if you hit her. Do you hit her?

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Beat her within an inch of her life with a pistol on the ass

chaos said:

I never said "any discipline is abuse". I said using violence against a child is abuse. I said that it has well documented negative effects, and it does. I said that it was cruel to use against children with disorders impacting their ability to control their behavior, and it is, to me anyway. Which was the original argument.

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This is such feelzy bullshit I'm actually a little surprised to see it on FOH.

There is a place for physical discipline. Done properly, its not even a little bit abusive or damaging -- it is positive and loving.

Aldarion said:

This is such feelzy bullshit I'm actually a little surprised to see it on FOH.

There is a place for physical discipline. Done properly, its not even a little bit abusive or damaging -- it is positive and loving.

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I'm echoing the studies that have been done for decades. The data is there for you to look at. How is that "feelzy?"

Loving....

Make a new scatter dot chart graph Keg for this thread.

spanking is not beating. Spanking is not violence. You people are delusional and projecting.