Parent Thread

3301 · Jun 10, 2018

Tuco said:
I take my kid to the park / McDonalds an average about 5-6 hours a week. I generally only play with him if there's no other kids there that will play with him. I'm not judging you or anything, but I figure it's better if my kid gets a little independence and plays with other kids without me watching over his shoulder.

But I definitely want to put a parole ankle bracelet on him so I can get a jump start on re-enacting Taken.

Taken is fucking tame compared to where I’ve gone in my head when I think about someone kidnapping my girls.

Tuco · Jun 10, 2018

Woefully Inept said:
We only do a couple hours per week at a playground. Other days we meet with an outdoor/in the woods playgroup at least once per week we go for a hike at Purgatory Chasm which is a relatively short drive for us.
I'll definitely concede your point if I took him to a playground 6 hours awake. I have a few audiobooks I'd like churn through as well.

I dont know what purgatory chasm is but it sure sounds like a place you'd want an ankle monitor around your kid for. And probably your wife too.

Woefully Inept · Jun 10, 2018

I meant to edit and add the link but I forgot. Thanks for reminding me. lol

I don't take him through the chasm yet but there's a 1 mile trail that goes around the chasm that he enjoys. Gotta touch all of the blue trail markers.

Purgatory Chasm State Reservation (Sutton) - 2018 All You Need to Know Before You Go (with Photos) - TripAdvisor

Tuco · Jun 11, 2018

Woefully Inept said:
I meant to edit and add the link but I forgot. Thanks for reminding me. lol

I don't take him through the chasm yet but there's a 1 mile trail that goes around the chasm that he enjoys. Gotta touch all of the blue trail markers.

Purgatory Chasm State Reservation (Sutton) - 2018 All You Need to Know Before You Go (with Photos) - TripAdvisor

very cool! I'm taking my kid to the Nevadan mountains this july, hsi first plane ride, first mountains, first camping etc. Going to be fun.

Leadaas · Jun 14, 2018

Just hit the 6 week mark and we’re starting to get a good pattern of sleep at night. Usually get two solid three hour blocks where the kid is out cold. I’m sure it’s not a permanent thing but enjoying it while it lasts. Over the past week he went from shitting 15 times a day to 2-3 times. I don’t think there’s any less poop overall, it just comes out all at once now in a massive explosion. And they stink now too. My mom was visiting the other day and he took his evening shit while she was holding him, smelled so bad she started dry heaving. I’ve never been so proud.

Jalynfane · Jun 16, 2018

I did something today that I know will come back to bite me in the ass but it was worth it.

Self righteous sister-in-law brought kids over so they can go out, we "get to have them" till Monday. She is very Portland. Two of the three kids (2, 4) have blue hair and the boy (3) wears a dress sometimes, because "he prefers them" of course.

I have spent the day just saying "Trump, twenty twenty" and plan on doing so all weekend if I can. The boy said "Trump" earlier, and we high five each time.

I am being a shitlord I know, and if my wife finds out she will be laughingly pissed off at me for causing her grief with her sis but alas.

Ronaan · Jun 16, 2018

I am seriously triggered by the stupidity of some people. I mean ok let the boy have a dress if he wants to let the dong swing but 2 and 4 years with blue hair come on what a retard mother and what a retard hairdresser. Hair dye is not really healthy.

Plus, girls wear dresses.

Arative · Jun 16, 2018

Unfortunately you don't need a license to breed.

lurkingdirk · Jun 16, 2018

Took the whole dang family to the Toledo zoo today. I was nervous, because I have a bunch of teenagers and a ten year old. My oldest twins are very independent, the middle two are often un-engaged with family activities of late, and the youngest just wants to have fun with everyone. We had a bloody blast. There's a zip line, climbing wall, aquarium, and zoo all in one stop. There were things for everyone to do, and we listened to a hilarious book on the way there and back. This was the kind of family day trip everyone dreams of.

I'm well aware that it's also likely close to the last. My twins leave for college in a year, and then everything changes with family dynamics. But today? today I'm a very happy dad. Today I believe we have a nice, healthy family.

Nola · Jun 19, 2018

Ughhh I'm 46 years old and my wife is pregnant. I'm too old to have another kid and I thought I was done with shitty diapers. I'm getting fixed after this.

wilkxus · Jun 19, 2018

Grats! Cheer up tho, it does get easier overall even if keeping up on some long days it is a lil harder.

Soygen · Jun 19, 2018

Man, the first year was so easy with my daughter. Now she's almost 15 months and the tantrums have started. This chick screams literally every time she gets changed or takes a bath. She used to be so fucking chill. I'm so glad my fiance is insanely patient. I'm looking forward to this phase passing.

a c i d.f l y · Jun 19, 2018

Leadaas said:
Just hit the 6 week mark and we’re starting to get a good pattern of sleep at night. Usually get two solid three hour blocks where the kid is out cold. I’m sure it’s not a permanent thing but enjoying it while it lasts. Over the past week he went from shitting 15 times a day to 2-3 times. I don’t think there’s any less poop overall, it just comes out all at once now in a massive explosion. And they stink now too. My mom was visiting the other day and he took his evening shit while she was holding him, smelled so bad she started dry heaving. I’ve never been so proud.

Week 6 was nice. Week 7 has fucking sucked. Nearly every night, every 30,45,60 minutes shreaking until she gets 12 seconds of boob time. So glad I just started back at work....

3301 · Jun 19, 2018

Our five month old girl has been the best baby, been sleeping through the night since two months old. Not every time, but I don’t mind the one feeding she might do. And she’s so happy, she smiles and grins so big when she sees us, she’s literally a joy.

Her twin sisters were a fuckin nightmare out of the twilight zone though.

Arative · Jun 19, 2018

Nola said:
Ughhh I'm 46 years old and my wife is pregnant. I'm too old to have another kid and I thought I was done with shitty diapers. I'm getting fixed after this.

I'm 43 will be 44 in August. Got a 3 month old girl. I'm getting fixed soon.

Ronaan · Jun 20, 2018

Bunch of old fucks up in here amirite?

I'll be 45 in August but the kids are 6 and 3 so I've got that going for me, which is nice. Thought about getting the tubes snipped but somehow the wife always keeps going on how she needs the hormone contraceptive anyway because she'd bleed like a gutted cow if she didn't and then I push it to the back of my head again.

ToeMissile · Jun 20, 2018

Man, feeling much younger now, thanks. Just turned 38, the little lady is coming up on 17 months. Casually working on #2.

Soygen totally with you on the diapers. My daughter is starting to calm down a little but she still has very little patience for staying put for diaper changes, post-bath stuff, etc. Break dancing MMA fighter. She's really strong-willed and typically has an idea of what she thinks should be going on and who should be doing it.

Soygen · Jun 20, 2018

ToeMissile said:
Man, feeling much younger now, thanks. Just turned 38, the little lady is coming up on 17 months. Casually working on #2.

Soygen totally with you on the diapers. My daughter is starting to calm down a little but she still has very little patience for staying put for diaper changes, post-bath stuff, etc. Break dancing MMA fighter. She's really strong-willed and typically has an idea of what she thinks should be going on and who should be doing it.

Yup, exactly. i think a lot of it has to do with her being able to walk around now and being constrained really annoys her. It's like...fucking chill, do you want to walk around with shit in your pants, girl?!

ToeMissile · Jun 20, 2018

Soygen said:
Yup, exactly. i think a lot of it has to do with her being able to walk around now and being constrained really annoys her. It's like...fucking chill, do you want to walk around with shit in your pants, girl?!

It isn't the walking around for mine. She's always been a pain in the ass

Ronaan · Jun 21, 2018

So the little one turned three a few days ago. She is not a big fan of toilets so far, diapers all the way.
Kindergarten starts in September and while they do change diapers they in turn are not a big fan of that.

To make it easier on everyone, it's about fucking time this kid shits in the toilet. Also, pee. She will go without diaper in the backyard/garden and sometimes when you ask her at the right moment she'll piss in the corner (assisted), other times you'll have 4 underpants wet in 20 minutes.

She had some progress in November where she had fun using the toilet but over winter (fuck 17 layers of clothing srsly) all that faded away and now her best daycare buddy has taken so much influence on her that she just flat out refuses to use the toilet, because he doesn't either.

Well fuck.

Her big sis went through the day without diapers at that age, only needed one for the poop. Don't remember how we did it back then. Halp.

Parent Thread

Wake Up Man

I got Tuco'd!

Karazhan Raider

I got Tuco'd!

Dindu Nuffin

Phank 2002

Molten Core Raider

Ahn'Qiraj Raider

AssHat Taint

Trakanon Raider

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One

ಠ_ಠ

Wake Up Man

Ahn'Qiraj Raider

Molten Core Raider

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer

Molten Core Raider