Several months into my first kids going to college now. It has been remarkable. There has been a lot of visiting, and a lot of facetiming, and a lot of talking. Fantastic things have been happening. Let me list some, just for those who are anticipating college coming up for your kids.
1. your relationship with the kids who go to college changes. A lot. And fast. These kids had to raise their hand to use the bathroom last year, and now they're living independently. They begin to act like adult really quickly. That has an impact on their relationship with their parents. Bigly. Discussions shift to different topics, and, quite frankly, my kids' respect level for their parents has gone up a lot. They're doing something hard. Really hard. And they know that me and their mom have been through it, and now we're resources for them. It's a wonderful shift, and it's the beginning of an adult relationship with my kids. I'm incredibly proud of my twins, they're so different, they're at different schools, and they're both thriving.
2. The kids left at home bond on a whole new level. This can be hurtful to the kids who left for college when they return home for visits. The other kids continue having the fun, making the memories, spending time with the parents, taking the trips with the parents, and all that. So when the college kids come home, they feel left out. This doesn't mean they feel unloved, they're just realizing that their life as a full time, permanent part of this household is coming to an end, and there needs to be mourning that goes along with that. In the spring my wife and I are taking our twins to Barcelona for 8 days. Just the the four of us. It will be good for everyone.
Random thoughts that I hope may be helpful to some. Kids turning into adults is not an easy thing. But it is also a wonderful, rewarding thing. They are turning into the adults you helped them to become. Watch that with pride and joy.
