Parent Thread

Noodleface · Oct 26, 2020

Captain Suave said:
That's the issue, 100%. I was the same way. My second grade teacher suggested to my parents that I be put on Ritalin because I wasn't paying attention (despite high performance). I was just bored. I coasted through school with top marks until I hit a wall with upper level university math. It has taken most of my adult life to realize the wrong ratio of talent to work ethic has cost me some success. I try to reward long-term effort over achievement with my kids. They got a good hand in the genetic lottery and doing well in school is a minimum bar.

This is a tough one for me. I generally default to minimal screen time for the kids despite that I'm a huge gamer and don't have a problem in abstract. They get a few hours a week of Minecraft, always with me playing alongside, or we'll watch a few episodes of a show together on the weekends. Anything that's too stupid for me to stomach, we don't do. They don't have individual devices and get zero un-curated shows or YouTube. My wife and I cut cable in favor of streaming almost 15 years ago so there's no background TV in our house, but we struggle to be good role models of phone use. I gave my son a Kindle very early and he's a voracious reader.

I think it has served the kids well. They're present in the house in a way that their cousins are not. My wife's sister's kids have their faces plugged into mobile devices all the time and they just look surprised and confused if you try to talk to them. It's weird

Yeah sounds a lot like me. I actually flunked out of university in my first semester (I mean I could've stayed but 4 F's was hard to stomach) just because it was such a culture shock academically. I went from not trying in highschool... to trying to pull that at college. Also, the freedom was another factor. I did go back and get an engineering degree.

My oldest seems to be like that too. Picks up concepts really fast. Even in kindergarten, right now they're teaching letters - something he self taught himself at around 2. I already think he has ADHD, so will be interesting to see how school really goes.

Gurgeh · Oct 26, 2020

I'm trying to get my daughter to play a little bit of video games (she's 3.5 y/o) but she's got little interest in it. She'll watch TV in bed before sleeping, but beside that, not much interest either. If I'm getting my phone out of my pocket while playing with her, she'll ask me to put it back... And I'm observing the opposite with male kids, yesterday we had 4 kids at home, I ended up playing mario kart on the switch with the 2 boys, but the 2 girls had exactly 0 interest in it.
Also, since she's started school, she'll now refuse to wear anything not girly to go there, saying "the boys will make fun of me". I think they didn't get the memo from gender studies at her school. Not that I'm complaining...

moonarchia · Oct 28, 2020

When I was a kid I did a lot of stuff with the kids in the neighborhood outside. Riding bikes, playing down by the creek, etc. Then I got into books. Then Nintendo was a thing. I got a GameBoy as soon as that cane out, so I get the fun screen thing.

Araysar · Oct 30, 2020

Hello fellow fathers. At how many months did your kids rollover for the first time? And when did they start crawling?

Falstaff · Oct 30, 2020

Roll over I don't remember at all. My daughter barely crawled, went right from scooting to standing up and walking while she held onto stuff to walking on her own at about 13 months. She was diagnosed with low tone, not sure sure if it was legit or we were first time parents.

My son crawled and was walking before he turned 1.

Kiroy · Oct 30, 2020

Araysar said:
Hello fellow fathers. At how many months did your kids rollover for the first time? And when did they start crawling?

we're right at 3 months and haven't gotten a full roll yet but she's able to twist kick her legs and almost get there so we stopped swaddling the arms at night just in case. when we put her on her belly she has the crawl motion, but can't get enough grip to move anywhere yet. I think it's cause she can extend her feet/toes/fingers correctly yet

Araysar · Oct 30, 2020

My daughter is almost 4 months, she scoots backwards on her back. And for the past week has almost rolled over several times. Should I start holding her under her arms and imitate a walking motion? I'm trying to min/max this process like a true nerd. I want this kid walking by spring.

OU Ariakas · Oct 30, 2020

Maximize tummy time, they will start rolling over because they hate being on their stomachs and want to be on their backs. Crawling is like a 6 or 7 month thing at the earliest. Mine were all walking by 13 months but it wasn't like they were steady and needed no support.

Kiroy · Oct 30, 2020

Araysar said:
My daughter is almost 4 months, she scoots backwards on her back. And for the past week has almost rolled over several times. Should I start holding her under her arms and imitate a walking motion? I'm trying to min/max this process like a true nerd. I want this kid walking by spring.

I do a shit ton of hold her arms and letting her pull herself into standing position.

also got a jumparoo and jolly jumper arriving today I think - that should help with leg strength and coordination as well

Captain Suave · Oct 30, 2020

Kiroy said:
also got a jumparoo and jolly jumper arriving today I think - that should help with leg strength and coordination as well

My kids spent months in those things. They're goddamn kangaroos now.

ToeMissile · Oct 30, 2020

OU Ariakas said:
Maximize tummy time, they will start rolling over because they hate being on their stomachs and want to be on their backs. Crawling is like a 6 or 7 month thing at the earliest. Mine were all walking by 13 months but it wasn't like they were steady and needed no support.

There's a huge range of normal for roll, crawl, walk. My sister in law walked at 8 months, her husband walked at 15 months. They're both healthy, active, etc.

Talk to your pediatrician, read up on progression timelines from a reputable site/organization.

We used a fix supported seat until the kids had the core strength to keep themselves upright and switched to a jumper

Araysar · Oct 30, 2020

ToeMissile said:
There's a huge range of normal for roll, crawl, walk. My sister in law walked at 8 months, her husband walked at 15 months. They're both healthy, active, etc.

Talk to your pediatrician, read up on progression timelines from a reputable site/organization.

We used a fix supported seat until the kids had the core strength to keep themselves upright and switched to a jumper

this IS my reputable site and/or organization

Araysar · Oct 30, 2020

Kiroy said:
I do a shit ton of hold her arms and letting her pull herself into standing position.

also got a jumparoo and jolly jumper arriving today I think - that should help with leg strength and coordination as well

oh thats pretty slick. i have her sit in a bumbo for 10 minutes at a time, a few times per day just to keep practicing balancing her body and that big Slav boxhead she inherited from her father. kid's head looks like a TV

Hateyou · Oct 30, 2020

Jolly jumper was hilarious. We used to play river dance and have him bounce around. Still watch those videos once in a while for laughs.

Araysar I don’t really think there are methods for getting them to crawl or walk, they just do it when they do it. I’d just let her do her own thing and it’ll just happen when she’s ready. Plus uhm, once they start crawling you have to pay more attention and once they start walking it’s a whole new level of shit. They’re like god damn cats, they get into everything when they start walking. You may also need to start moving things up on shelves, attaching end tables to the wall and shit like that.

Definitely make sure you get some babyproofing shit like cabinet locks and secure flat screen and bookshelves to the wall if it’s not already. Kids die from that shit falling on them every year.

In terms of cabinets, leave some unlocked on purpose, full of Tupperware and pots and pans. They get into that and make a racket for a while then lose interest in the more secure drawers.

Araysar · Oct 30, 2020

Hateyou said:
In terms of cabinets, leave some unlocked on purpose, full of Tupperware and pots and pans. They get into that and make a racket for a while then lose interest in the more secure drawers.

LMAO

lurkingdirk · Oct 30, 2020

You don't need to hold them under the arms so they can walk until they start showing signs of wanting to do that themselves. You'll know it when you see it. But yes, as stated above, tummy time is a great thing. Builds their neck strength tremendously, and they'll start rolling over on their own. One of my kids never crawled, just did a sort of butt scoot until she started standing up. Every kid is different, and they're going to develop at their own pace. Now, that said, if you kid isn't rolling over at the age of 14 you might have cause to be concerned.

Hateyou · Oct 30, 2020

Araysar said:
LMAO

Once they crawl you will be happy to have something that will keep them busy for 30-40 minutes, is safe, and you can hear from the other room.

This was our kitchen a few times day. If you pretend like “Hey! How did you get into all this again!” When you “catch” them doing it, they think it’s funny they’re getting away with something and will do it more.

Crone · Oct 30, 2020

So my 3 kids have this "problem" where when playing they get excited and will just scream at the top of their lungs. Like bloody murder scream and run off laughing and playing with each other. Wife and I can't stand it and we've asked them to stop screaming about a million times as this isn't a new problem.

I've been home this whole past week on pto and so I've noticed it way more and so yesterday I said next person that screams like that and isn't hurt I'm putting hot sauce on their tongue.

Son and 3 year old daughter love Sriracha and Chalula apparently, middle daughter doesn't like any of it. Lol. But apparently this is child abuse according to my sister in law and so now I guess we won't be doing this anymore.

Araysar · Oct 30, 2020

Hateyou said:
Once they crawl you will be happy to have something that will keep them busy for 30-40 minutes, is safe, and you can hear from the other room.

This was our kitchen a few times day. If you pretend like “Hey! How did you get into all this again!” When you “catch” them doing it, they think it’s funny they’re getting away with something and will do it more.

View attachment 313660

I never did this stuff as a kid. American parents are way too permissive.

Not hating on you and what you're doing, but this would be unacceptable to me.

lurkingdirk · Oct 30, 2020

Crone said:
So my 3 kids have this "problem" where when playing they get excited and will just scream at the top of their lungs. Like bloody murder scream and run off laughing and playing with each other. Wife and I can't stand it and we've asked them to stop screaming about a million times as this isn't a new problem.

I've been home this whole past week on pto and so I've noticed it way more and so yesterday I said next person that screams like that and isn't hurt I'm putting hot sauce on their tongue.

Son and 3 year old daughter love Sriracha and Chalula apparently, middle daughter doesn't like any of it. Lol. But apparently this is child abuse according to my sister in law and so now I guess we won't be doing this anymore.

Shock collar.

I kid. If they scream, they have to sit quietly for 10 minutes. You have to sit with them, which sucks, but it prevents the future screaming pretty quickly. My kids know that if they scream I'll come running. If they screamed for no reason, they've made a poor choice, and there are consequences for poor choices. No phone for a week, no screens for a week, whatever works for your kids.

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