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lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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My youngest daughter went to prom last night. She didn't take a date, she went with a group of friends. They all got ready at our house and did pictures and shit out in our yard. They all looked great, and they were having an absolutely great time. They didn't care about dates and sex and all that shit, and I'm so happy about that. Prom can be an incredibly stressful thing for people if there is the expectation of a date and intimacy. Take that expectation away and go with friends and it turns into a party that's a lot of fun.

I'm so grateful my daughters gained common sense. I don't think I could deal with prom drama.
 
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Prodigal

Prodigal

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My daughter is getting married in September. Was going to be June of next year but the venue she wants is up for sale and so they are not booking in 2022.

I guess only having to deal with her and the wife’s preparation anxiety for four more months instead of a year is a plus...

Good news is I like the guy, wife does as well and to the best of my knowledge he’s only addicted to bass fishing and turkey hunting.
 
Lendarios

Lendarios

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My 6 year old daughter begs me to play EQ
Then she takes my 6 box team to school and sits them in class.
She found the necromancer guild in pok that has desks and looks like a classroom, so she lines up all my guys in there as if they were at school.


Also the other day clicking around she almost destroyed the pants of my main... I would have been heartbroken if I had to give herup for adoption.
 
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Brad2770

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I used to let my kid play GTA4 when he was around 6 or 7. Always made him obey the rules of the road; stop at stop lights. Stay in the lanes. Turn from proper lanes. It was exciting for me to see the game played like that and he got to drive a car.
 
fred sanford

fred sanford

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Brad2770 said:
I used to let my kid play GTA4 when he was around 6 or 7. Always made him obey the rules of the road; stop at stop lights. Stay in the lanes. Turn from proper lanes. It was exciting for me to see the game played like that and he got to drive a car.
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Totally reminds me of my son. Took him to legoland and they have this mini town where kids can drive cars. My kid was the only one who obeyed the rules of the road. He stopped at all stop signs and waited for red lights to go green.

On the flip side he critiques my driving irl. I have to hold my arm at a certain point on the wheel so he doesn’t read that I’m going 5mph over the limit for Pete’s sake
 
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Hateyou

Hateyou

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My 6yo is about done with his first year of school. He’s doing math in his head really well, multiplication and division. Reading long chapter books and a Zelda Manga. He also has all the presidents memorized in order and knows facts about them. You can just say a number and he can tell you who it was, pretty wild. Wonder how long he will retain that. Doing Mt. Rushmore when schools out while he’s into the presidents. I’ve heard it’s pretty underwhelming so we aren’t expecting much, doing hiking and camping mainly.
 
lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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Hateyou said:
My 6yo is about done with his first year of school. He’s doing math in his head really well, multiplication and division. Reading long chapter books and a Zelda Manga. He also has all the presidents memorized in order and knows facts about them. You can just say a number and he can tell you who it was, pretty wild. Wonder how long he will retain that. Doing Mt. Rushmore when schools out while he’s into the presidents. I’ve heard it’s pretty underwhelming so we aren’t expecting much, doing hiking and camping mainly.
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There's a lot of pretty cool stuff for kids at Mt. Rushmore. We enjoyed it thoroughly with out kids. Make sure to talk to the guides, they'll get your son engaged.
 
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Tarrant

Tarrant

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My oldest son graduates next month and was supposed to move few states over (in with me) and go to college. He gets half off tuition (it’s a major university) and after his mom got into his head he’s deciding to stay in the middle of no where northern United States and hope he can get a “good paying job” at Walmart and take a gap year and decide even if he wants to to get a secondary education.

he’s 18 and I told him he’s an adult and he has to make his own decisions, but that I can’t disagree with that decision anymore than I currently do.

I miss the days where I could tell him what to do. It’s stressful, I don’t want to see him fuck up his life and get a late start bettering himself like I did.

it’s frustrating having to watch and hope it all turns out okay.
 
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Tarrant

Tarrant

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Sanrith Descartes said:
Gap years are almost always a bad idea. This is my anecdotal view. Too many times they spend a year getting into the head of "i am out of school and enjoying not being in school". Unless it is an internship or something I would advise against gap years.
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Preaching to the choir man, I told him the longer he waits the harder it is to go back.

he’s 18, he knows better. You know how that goes. Just sucks having to watch and hope it doesn’t turn out to be a train wreck.
 
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lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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Tarrant said:
Preaching to the choir man, I told him the longer he waits the harder it is to go back.

he’s 18, he knows better. You know how that goes. Just sucks having to watch and hope it doesn’t turn out to be a train wreck.
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A slightly different take - gap years can be quite good. Let him see how much he doesn't want to work at Walmart for the rest of his life. Let him earn a little money. Let him decide that yes, post secondary education is the right thing for him. If that all happens, he'll charge into college with a great attitude and work harder. Might be an awesome thing.
 
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Tarrant

Tarrant

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lurkingdirk said:
A slightly different take - gap years can be quite good. Let him see how much he doesn't want to work at Walmart for the rest of his life. Let him earn a little money. Let him decide that yes, post secondary education is the right thing for him. If that all happens, he'll charge into college with a great attitude and work harder. Might be an awesome thing.
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He’s already sliding into pretty bad habits, but we will see I suppose.
 
C

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lurkingdirk said:
Let him see how much he doesn't want to work at Walmart for the rest of his life.
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lurkingdirk said:
Encourage him to take the gap year living with you. Help him find a job.
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I do think everyone should work a shitty job like retail or food service for some period of their life, if only as a cautionary experience and movitvation for doing something higher leverage. Preferably that happens during high school summers or concurrently with secondary education, but unless you're in a position to really lay down the law (not with an independently-minded 18 year old) lurkingdirk's suggestion seems like a decent solution. Keep him close for supervision/reprogramming, but don't forget to charge him rent for the real-world authenticity.
 
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lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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Tarrant said:
He doesn’t want to leave his friends. He’s enjoying vibing with them too much. That’s what started the issue.
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Yup, that's an issue. Wish I had a ready made answer for it. Lots of conversations. And I really wish the best for you kid. Hope so much that if he takes the gap year it energizes him in the right ways.
 
Prodigal

Prodigal

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Captain Suave said:
I do think everyone should work a shitty job like retail or food service for some period of their life, if only as a cautionary experience and movitvation for doing something higher leverage. Preferably that happens during high school summers or concurrently with secondary education, but unless you're in a position to really lay down the law (not with an independently-minded 18 year old) lurkingdirk's suggestion seems like a decent solution. Keep him close for supervision/reprogramming, but don't forget to charge him rent for the real-world authenticity.
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My son just finished up his second year in college and is now working over the summer at my place of work in the plant. They asked me what I wanted him to be doing - if I wanted him to have to do really tedious, crappy shit all day long.

I told them he’s worked since he’s had a drivers license (Bojangles while in high school, and different work study stuff in college plus Bojangles during his breaks). That and he plays football which is a job in and of itself. They realized I had taught his ass to work a while back, so they have him doing whatever they actually need an extra body for since we’re so damn short handed in manufacturing anyway.

A gap year certainly can work - I also reach out to other people he respects (coaches, teachers) to tell him the same shit I do because sometimes I still don’t know how things are, according to him. Not that he’s doing a gap year, just getting reminded to make choices that give him more and better choices down the road.
 
Borzak

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I didn't even know what a "gap" year was. I went to work after school and getting a GED. I worked for 4 years and saved up and built my contacts. Then I went to college in another state and worked remotely the entire time with the contacts I had built up. Worked part time at home and it covered all my bills and then some. The only downside I had was being around a lot of 18 year old people that had no clue how the world worked. 18 year old girls was okay though.
 
agripa

agripa

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Tarrant said:
My oldest son graduates next month and was supposed to move few states over (in with me) and go to college. He gets half off tuition (it’s a major university) and after his mom got into his head he’s deciding to stay in the middle of no where northern United States and hope he can get a “good paying job” at Walmart and take a gap year and decide even if he wants to to get a secondary education.

he’s 18 and I told him he’s an adult and he has to make his own decisions, but that I can’t disagree with that decision anymore than I currently do.

I miss the days where I could tell him what to do. It’s stressful, I don’t want to see him fuck up his life and get a late start bettering himself like I did.

it’s frustrating having to watch and hope it all turns out okay.
Click to expand...
The flipside is they go to school party to much and flunk out. It happened to my brother in-law and ended doing a 4 year stint in the Navy to grow up and realize what he wanted to get out of life. Sometimes you have to let your kids make stupid decisions so they can figure it out for themselves albeit painful to watch as a parent.
 
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