I think martial arts could be a good experience for him and is worth a try. You are basically looking for something that helps him with self control and channeling his energy/anger in a more healthy way. Get him a bag to practice on opposed to your walls and doors.
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Sanrith Descartes
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Hateyou
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I agree with the physical stuff. Martial arts and boxing. Not sure I agree with team sports like hockey though. When a kid like that has an episode and flips the fuck out during practice or a game it is going to ruin it for the coach, other kids, parents. That can still happen in the other things but the group isn’t relying on him to participate to continue. Boxing or martial arts they can just have the kid beat the shit out of a bag over in the corner.
I have a nephew that had some severe issues like what you are talking about. He was in anger management classes by three and has been on some drugs for a long time. I am anti-drug for kids but after watching him and how way out of normal kid behavior it was I get that it’s necessary. She had an anger ‘pillow’ for him where when he would start to snap he’d go fucking nuts beating on it.
I can ask my sister some of the things that helped with my nephew if you want, but I do remember the physical classes helped as an outlet for what seemed like anger build up in him. He is a teen now and still has to be on drugs, he calls them his crazy pills and knows he flips if he isn’t on them so sticks with it.
Funny-ish related story. He was acting up at our house once and she threatened to take away his pillow pet or whatever it was. He instantly had an episode so lost the pet, he threatened he’d just take it from her. So she went outside and locked it in the van. He said I don’t care and went outside to get it. She said whatever he’ll give up, it’s locked. My dad was leaving five minutes later so I went outside to say bye and check on the nephew cause he hadn’t come back in yet. I don’t see him anywhere and while chatting with my dad I see something out of the corner of my eye. Look and don’t see anything so keep chatting. He leaves and then I see one of my yard lights flying through the air from the side of the house to my front yard and think wtf. Dad leaves, I walk around to the side yard and my nephews there flipping out, ripping my yard lights out of the mulch one by one, smashing them, and throwing them. Little bastard I didn’t take his fucking pillow pet!
I have a nephew that had some severe issues like what you are talking about. He was in anger management classes by three and has been on some drugs for a long time. I am anti-drug for kids but after watching him and how way out of normal kid behavior it was I get that it’s necessary. She had an anger ‘pillow’ for him where when he would start to snap he’d go fucking nuts beating on it.
I can ask my sister some of the things that helped with my nephew if you want, but I do remember the physical classes helped as an outlet for what seemed like anger build up in him. He is a teen now and still has to be on drugs, he calls them his crazy pills and knows he flips if he isn’t on them so sticks with it.
Funny-ish related story. He was acting up at our house once and she threatened to take away his pillow pet or whatever it was. He instantly had an episode so lost the pet, he threatened he’d just take it from her. So she went outside and locked it in the van. He said I don’t care and went outside to get it. She said whatever he’ll give up, it’s locked. My dad was leaving five minutes later so I went outside to say bye and check on the nephew cause he hadn’t come back in yet. I don’t see him anywhere and while chatting with my dad I see something out of the corner of my eye. Look and don’t see anything so keep chatting. He leaves and then I see one of my yard lights flying through the air from the side of the house to my front yard and think wtf. Dad leaves, I walk around to the side yard and my nephews there flipping out, ripping my yard lights out of the mulch one by one, smashing them, and throwing them. Little bastard I didn’t take his fucking pillow pet!
Tmac
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Is there anything you need from an emotional or supportive perspective that this board could provide?
I know getting random advice can sometimes feel the opposite of supportive. Either way, thanks for sharing your struggles.
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meStevo
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Nah, just being able to share and get some of the input I have gotten is what I wanted. Sometimes just typing it all out helps work though things. Other times reliving really bad days are the last thing I want to do.
Thanks.
Thanks.
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Your brother is a huge prick, and can go fuck himself. Asshole needs to have some empathy.
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Sanrith Descartes
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Dude, I mean no disrespect. My on child, who suffers from a similar issue (though of course it isn't the same, and your child needs individual treatment, and deserves that), really benefitted from a team sport. It didn't involve his parents, he had to play by certain rules, those rules were enforced by adults who are not his parents. All these things were huge advantages. I'm not suggesting it works for every child, but team sports can be a very positive thing for kids with these issues. I coach hockey, and I have dealt with kids who are biters, fighters, and any other negative social thing you can think of. Getting them on the ice, or on the soccer field, or on the basketball court, or whatever can be fantastically rewarding for them with the right coach.
In any case, no matter what, know that you are, in fact, a good parent, and this is not something you can fix by just loving your child. It's going to be a life long journey, so accept whatever help you're offered.
Honestly, you're doing a good job. Start every day there.
In any case, no matter what, know that you are, in fact, a good parent, and this is not something you can fix by just loving your child. It's going to be a life long journey, so accept whatever help you're offered.
Honestly, you're doing a good job. Start every day there.
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I have the reverse situation, where my wife wears my son's shirts. Robots and dinosaurs all day.
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Hateyou
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How big is your daughter? Usually guys I know who only wear HD T-shirts’ are 250 lbs and 14 year girls are like 70 lbs.
Time for some classic rock T’s.
Sanrith Descartes
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Tmac
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I take investing advice from a guy in cutoff Harley tees? Mother of god...
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Sanrith Descartes
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Tmac
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Ohhh. Well why didn’t you say so? Man that was a close one.
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ToeMissile
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Another parenting first:
My 4 year old, angry that I wouldn't let her draw instead of go to bed, threatened to call the police and tell them I wasn't being nice and that they'd "make me a prisoner".
My 4 year old, angry that I wouldn't let her draw instead of go to bed, threatened to call the police and tell them I wasn't being nice and that they'd "make me a prisoner".
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My sister had a baby a couple months ago and had a severe adverse reaction to medication she was taking. Ended up with some kind of MASSIVE anxiety disorder, to the point that she literally didn't sleep for nine days. We ended up taking the baby for three days just so she could finish withdrawal from the meds and take some Ambien and pass out. Babies are a lot easier when you know you're not stuck with them for the indefinite future, but man, did this really reinforce that I'm done having kids. Mine are 6 and 9 and I wouldn't trade them for anything, but infants can fuck right off at this stage in my life.
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