Parent Thread

From what I'm finding, anything you read about raising/caring for a child, there is conflicting information on EVERYTHING. One source will say to do something, and then another source will say to NEVER do that same thing. It's all pretty baffling. Obviously we consult our pediatrician on big things like anything to do with an illness, but there's a lot of stupid little questions you wonder about all the time in regards to stuff like feeding, napping, developmental toys, etc and opinions are just all over the place on that stuff.

Yeah. There are some things that are just quantifiable, like vaccines or spanking or whatever, but a lot of parenting is kind of up in the air and we don't really know what is better. Personally I try not to get in anyone's shit about whatever path they take, I don't really even talk about it outside of here and occasionally at work. The only reason I talk about it at work is because I work with a lot of older people who are just mystified that I don't spank my kids, and we have debates about that, but keep it friendly. Some people get too emotional about shit even for that.

What, your kids didn't come out with instruction manuals? Guess we just got lucky.

How to raise your children are conversations I avoid with other people with young children. I've heard it get so nasty and I just want to stay away from that. I know that if my sister-in-law watched me and my husband parent our for a day she would be mortified and it is the same thing with us for the way she does things.

An example that we experienced over Thanksgiving when together with my in-laws. They are all mormon. My husband left the church when he was a teenager and I'm Canadian and have always been an atheist. There has been a lot of talk on the internet lately against mormonism, proving things about it that mormons like to hide. So my husband and his dad were having a talk about it and the kids were running around in the area they were talking. My brother-in-law storms in and gets pissed that they were talking about that sort of thing when the kids were running around the house (even though my husband and father-in-law were in a quieter section of the house). How dare you say anything against god, I don't want my daughter to hear your disbelief in god. Now they can raise their kid and damn way they please and for them that means believing in god. I will never tell their daughter that I don't think god is real, that is totally wrong and not my place but they feel totally justified in telling my daughter that god IS real. Hypocrisy, for sure. They don't see it that way though and just think we are terrible parents.

So yeah, I've added parenting methods to my list of things that can cause way too many problems to talk about except in the closest of company.

I would steer it back towards their parents. I don't want anyone preaching to my kids and if I found them doing that I would be upset. It depends on the situation though. If my kids asked and they were just answering the question I wouldn't have a problem with it, but if that turned to them trying to indoctrinate or mind meld or whatever mormons do to my kid, then I would have a problem with it.

How do you guys deal with hipster parents? You know, the ones that don't believe in diapers and all that bullshit. Do you shoot them scornful glares? Twiddle your long mustache and challenge the beta male to a bare knuckle boxing match? My cousin and his wife are total hipster parents (she's a photographer, duh), and it's annoyingly painful to watch. My parents raised me with a few spankings and grounding me, none of this no-diaper shit and organic foods and wearing fedoras on christmas even though you're only 4.

Just ignore them. Who cares? Starting shit over non-issues is what leads to drama. If hipsters wanna hipster, let them hipster. Unless they are anti-vaccine, then you need to aurally assault them.

Deathwing_sl said:

Wait, where does the piss and shit go then?

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The theory is that when they have to go you run them to the toilet.

Yeah...

Yep.

that is so retarded.

I know parents who do that, they claim it works. Oddly, they have a lot of stains on their carpet.

Here's one that is unfucking believable to me. They're "unschooling." That's right. They're not sending their child to school. This is a real thing.

Unschooling - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Bloody ridiculous.

Wait, wtf?

Isn't that illegal? I mean all children have to be in school until like 16 don't they? I know home schooling is a thing which is what they are trying to pass that off as, but doesn't even homeschooling rquire some sort of reporting on a child's status?

Ok yeah I'm being judgmental now.

lindz_sl said:

Wait, wtf?

Isn't that illegal? I mean all children have to be in school until like 16 don't they? I know home schooling is a thing which is what they are trying to pass that off as, but doesn't even homeschooling rquire some sort of reporting on a child's status?

Ok yeah I'm being judgmental now.

Click to expand...

Apparently there's a legal way around that, but I couldn't stay in a conversation with these folks long enough to find out what that was. I know I'm being judgemental, but these folks are in-your-face Libertarians who speak with absolute disdain about everything they don't believe in (which is everything), and tell people they are foolish to believe anything but what they themselves believe. They think schools are merely tools of the government to make compliant citizens, and why would they subject their children to that, and I'm clearly an idiot for sending my kids to school.

I wanted to slap them in the mouth with my penis.

To be fair, our current educational system is more interested in turning out workers than educated citizens. Unfortunately most (private) schools worth sending your kids to have respectable price tags attached.

It's what you all voted for - liberalism. Come to socio-liberal Northern Europe, free everything, 50%'ish taxes. Paradise. Cough.

joeboo_sl said:

From what I'm finding, anything you read about raising/caring for a child, there is conflicting information on EVERYTHING. One source will say to do something, and then another source will say to NEVER do that same thing. It's all pretty baffling. Obviously we consult our pediatrician on big things like anything to do with an illness, but there's a lot of stupid little questions you wonder about all the time in regards to stuff like feeding, napping, developmental toys, etc and opinions are just all over the place on that stuff.

Click to expand...

Yeah huffpo had a great article about books and advice that was one giant tongue in cheek compilation.... I will see if I can find it when I don't have a sleeping 6 month old on my boob.

Edit - that was easy - enjoy!

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3143253

lindz_sl said:

Wait, wtf?

Isn't that illegal? I mean all children have to be in school until like 16 don't they? I know home schooling is a thing which is what they are trying to pass that off as, but doesn't even homeschooling rquire some sort of reporting on a child's status?

Ok yeah I'm being judgmental now.

Click to expand...

I have a friend who just stopped going to school at 11. His mom was a single mother raising 3 boys, and the oldest dropped out at 17, the middle son at 14, and the youngest at 11. Basically the oldest dropped out and the other two were like "WTF? HE just gets to stay home? Well then I'm not going either."

Apparently they never had anything happen except the police showing up a couple of times, and they just didn't answer the door. Crazy.

The irony? The mom was/is a school teacher. She abandoned them all a couple of years later, they woke up one day and her bedroom was just packed up and empty. They called her cell and she told them she met a disabled man at church, and God had tasked her with taking care of him, so she had been married and was now living with him. The house was paid off, and she kept up with the utilities, but she would only stop by (or leave a note in the mailbox) every week or two with typically $20 attached for groceries. The oldest left for the military shortly after and I helped out until he could start sending money home for his brothers. Was a pretty crazy thing.

Anyways, things slip through the cracks I guess?

I'm a new father. The concept of sending my child into the public school system legitimately terrifies me. I'm not enough of a retard to not send my kids to school because of it, but I can totally understand where they are coming from.

For me, it's a concern over a very out of date curriculum that is meant to condition children for a world that just doesn't exist anymore. They are still taught 'facts', when we now carry the breadth of human knowledge in our pockets. Seems ridiculous to me. I'd prefer children were taught to have a love of learning and self education, and how to utilize modern tools to effectively navigate the world. Creativity will be paramount in the coming decades, when more and more of our traditional 'intelligence' will be made obsolete by technological advancements.

The entire educational system in North America needs a complete overhaul.