Parent Thread

Vandyn_sl said:

We had that happen one year around thanksgiving no less. It's pretty bad when you have to call a friend to come over and help with the baby because both parents cannot get up and move due to puking.

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Five weeks ago, we decided to put the house on the market. I flew my mom out two weeks later to help us pack shit up - but we were already done by the time she got here. We actually contemplated having her not come and save the ticket credit.

She flew in on a wed nite. Wed during the day my son had diarrhea at day care and threw up once. Thursday my husband started throwing up. Friday I was throwing up and had diarrhea so bad that when we took my son to the hospital with a 103 fever and lack of pee diapers they actually wound up admitting me and giving me fluids and anti nausea drugs because I was so dehydrated (I actually don't remember part of that night at all). The baby was actually pretty ok. I however was in very bad shape since I still tried to breastfeed through it. I couldn't even keep water down but I was producing milk, vomitting, and having diarrhea. I lost 7 pounds in 12 hours. I couldn' get out of bed. Thank you jesus my mom was here. She did a whole bunch of shit wrong watching my son but it was like "is my son ok? yes? ok mission accomplished".

My husband felt ok by saturday, I was ok by sunday - my mom came down with it sunday.

That shit was awful.

My mom now calls my son 'patient zero.'

Taking advice on how to get my son to stop hitting. It started with him just being overly excited sometimes and hitting us with both hands, but now he uses one hand to actually smack us (usually in the head) and even picks up some of his (heavier) toys to hit us with. I've tried putting on daddy's serious face and telling him "no hitting". I've tried smacking his hands while saying it, and even tapped him on the head a few times to try and make the point this is serious (tapped - not hitting, not smacking, not spanking). Nada, he still does it. He's not dumb, he's aware of many things he's not allowed to do, but this isn't sticking for some reason.

Etoille_sl said:

Five weeks ago, we decided to put the house on the market. I flew my mom out two weeks later to help us pack shit up - but we were already done by the time she got here. We actually contemplated having her not come and save the ticket credit.

She flew in on a wed nite. Wed during the day my son had diarrhea at day care and threw up once. Thursday my husband started throwing up. Friday I was throwing up and had diarrhea so bad that when we took my son to the hospital with a 103 fever and lack of pee diapers they actually wound up admitting me and giving me fluids and anti nausea drugs because I was so dehydrated (I actually don't remember part of that night at all). The baby was actually pretty ok. I however was in very bad shape since I still tried to breastfeed through it. I couldn't even keep water down but I was producing milk, vomitting, and having diarrhea. I lost 7 pounds in 12 hours. I couldn' get out of bed. Thank you jesus my mom was here. She did a whole bunch of shit wrong watching my son but it was like "is my son ok? yes? ok mission accomplished".

My husband felt ok by saturday, I was ok by sunday - my mom came down with it sunday.

That shit was awful.

My mom now calls my son 'patient zero.'

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Stomach virus/norovirus is the worst. There are very few sickness that completely kick the ever loving shit out of you to the point where you're almost always immobile because you're afraid of moving in fear of throwing up (plus you have no strength in you). It's because of that Thanksgiving event that my wife has a real phobia about us getting that again.

Question:

At what point does a woman lose the infatuation with the baby that she wants to do EVERYTHING. Right now I'm getting off pretty easy, she always wants to feed him, change diapers, change his clothes(loves picking out outfits) etc.

I know at some point these things are going to just become normal chores and I'm going to have to actually get off my ass more, but as of right now everytime I try to do one of them, she grabs the kid and wants to do it, and I'm happy to let her. She actually works more hours than I do, so I do all that stuff when I'm home alone with the kiddo, but if she's home, she wants him all to herself, even if that means doing the shitty(literally) stuff.

I'm got no problem with just playing with him once hes fed, and clean and non-poopy, but I have a feeling that isn't going to work forever, lol.

I don't know about how long the infatuation lasts (I am sure it is different for each mom), but it might not be a bad idea to insert yourself into more of those situations even if/when she wants to do them. Yes, cleaning a poopy diaper is no fun, but it is a bonding opportunity for you and the baby. Taking care of the baby when it needs something (diaper change, feeding, just plain comfort, etc.) should help reinforce to your baby that you are one of the people he can depend on to take care of his needs and you aren't just there for fun time.*

Sounds like you already get some good quality time due to your work schedules, but I think an equal sharing of those tasks is important for multiple reasons. Obviously some tasks are gender specific (like the Mom gets to dominate feeding time if breast feeding) but from your relationship, to bonding with your baby to just feeling included I think it is better all around to share as much parenting as possible. I know my wife is going to be the same way yours is when our little one comes, especially since I work at home so when she does go back to work I will get lots of baby time to myself.

*So I have read in my new-agey, dad centric parenting books anyways.

Right now my wife works so much(about 50 hours a week, M-F plus half day Sat) that I'm torn between wanting to do my part, but also not wanting to interrupt what little time she gets with our son.

so.....I couldn't put my son down for about.....7 weeks.

My husband got to pretty much change diapers. That was it.


Of course there were some complicating factors - mainly the colic. Any time the kid was awake if he wasn't eating he was screaming. So I had a kid on a boob or sleeping on me after eating a boob...always. Around 9 weeks I was like oh ok if I get hit by a bus what's the plan here? Plus I realized that I needed to be able to put the kid down occasionally and not take all the screaming on myself. (Common sense, right?) But I think the total infatuation I am so in love with this kid I may blow up ended around the time nightsweats did which was about 2-2.5 months post partum. (The only drugs I've ever done were shrooms 3x and the postpartum hormones were better than ANY of that shit. Nightsweats were fucking godawful but the emotional high....jesus).

Today, things are 50/50. I am still the outfit maestro but we really do share stuff equally. And since my husband works from home and I have a bitch commute he actually drops off and picks the kid up from daycare currently. It ebbs and flows though. Like for a while he was putting him down for naps because if I tried to do it all he wanted to do was comfort nurse and would wake up when unlatched. But lately I've been doing all the nap and sleep duties. Obviously he's still breast fed but even though we're doing solids (a lot of solids) I kind of take the lead on feeding him at the table.

But my husband plays with him in the mornings while I am pumping.

The time that I get to hang out with him during the week definitely is at a premium though. Its seriously a few hours a day. It sucks. He's SUCH an amazing dude.

OneofOne_sl said:

Taking advice on how to get my son to stop hitting. It started with him just being overly excited sometimes and hitting us with both hands, but now he uses one hand to actually smack us (usually in the head) and even picks up some of his (heavier) toys to hit us with. I've tried putting on daddy's serious face and telling him "no hitting". I've tried smacking his hands while saying it, and even tapped him on the head a few times to try and make the point this is serious (tapped - not hitting, not smacking, not spanking). Nada, he still does it. He's not dumb, he's aware of many things he's not allowed to do, but this isn't sticking for some reason.

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Redirect him to something else. One of our girls was hitting her sister the other night while they were sitting with mama on the floor. My wife tried the whole no hitting thing but it didn't actually stop until she moved her away. As our pediatrician explained it, since they have no reason to fear you they won't be able to understand how discipline works until they get older, so to them it's just attention and interacting with them too much while they are doing something wrong, can reinforce the behavior.

Was it wrong to spend the last 15 minutes yelling at my just turned 3 year old niece for peeing her pants on the couch?

Cad_sl said:

Yes

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Yeah, I was expecting a faster bite on my bait. I didn't yell at her, in fact I yelled at my mom for raising her voice at my niece when she had another accident. You don't yell at a kid who has an accident when they're potty training, stupid bitch.

Gavinrad_sl said:

Yeah, I was expecting a faster bite on my bait. I didn't yell at her, in fact I yelled at my mom for raising her voice at my niece when she had another accident. You don't yell at a kid who has an accident when they're potty training, stupid bitch.

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One wonders how either of you came to your respective conclusions.

Tarrant_sl said:

To the first part; please don't try and bait people in the grown up stuff forum. Thank you.

To the second, I agree with you on not yelling at a child who had an accident. All that does is make them fearful of the whole process and is counter productive imo.

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Why would one think yelling at someone yelling at said child teaches the child anything but yelling at someone is fine - or at the very least be acceptable? I donno. Seems dumb either way.

Tarrant_sl said:

Assuming he did it in front of the child I suppose, I can see that yes.

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I don't know that yelling at others for yelling is acceptable if the child wasn't present either. Seems dumb either way.

Tarrant_sl said:

If you firmly believe in something enough, getting emotional is fine as long as it's not physical. We are all passionate about different things and express that in different ways. "Yelling" is a broad word and it would entirely depend on how he went about it for it to be viewed as destructive or not.

If you want to dissect it further than that you'll need clarification from him on the matter, saying yelling or raising your voice is wrong in any and all situations though (which is what I'm inferring from your post, correct me if I'm wrong) is grossly ignorant in my eyes.

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I'm saying it's smarter to pass on your message in a calm an coherent matter. Yelling is never a persuasive method between peers, human beings. Are you by chance a marine? Do you yell at your mom?