Parent Thread
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Izo
Tranny Chaser
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Crone
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Lol ... whoa. Is it that hard to put yourself into a hypothetical situation? If my nearly 1 year old son was potty training later in life, and my mother or mother in law yelled at him, I can not say for sure, if I would yell back at her.
I'd like to say, no I wouldn't yell, but I know for sure that I would have some very stern words with her later when not around my son. Anything involving yelling at my son is a very emotionally charged situation. Impossible to say for certain how I would react.
I'd like to say, no I wouldn't yell, but I know for sure that I would have some very stern words with her later when not around my son. Anything involving yelling at my son is a very emotionally charged situation. Impossible to say for certain how I would react.
Izo
Tranny Chaser
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You'd think it would be easy to answer, yeah. Thank you so much for your thoughts. I have made an additional thread, seeing as this question is somehow tabu in the parent thread. Not really sure why, but whatever.
Answer this hypothetical - yelling and potty training
Thengel
Golden Knight of the Realm
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Seriously, I come to this thread for something other than your stupid shit.
Good news, the Zoloft seems to be working. Wife is coming out of her nasty funk and seems to be caring about baby beyond it being her "duty." Posts like the one previously about "when does the mommy infatuation end and daddy gets to help?" really drive home just how much post partum depression sucks. The answer to your question, in our case, was the first day home from the hospital. There was never any infatuation. Mother had a duty to feed son, and hated it. Beyond that, she wanted nothing to do with him, but went through the motions out of a sense of duty. If this sounds unreal - that's part of the problem. Not only is she feeling like shit, she feels like EXTRA shit because everyone expects her to be over the moon in love, and she's not. So she feels like shit plus guilt, awesome combo.
Good news, the Zoloft seems to be working. Wife is coming out of her nasty funk and seems to be caring about baby beyond it being her "duty." Posts like the one previously about "when does the mommy infatuation end and daddy gets to help?" really drive home just how much post partum depression sucks. The answer to your question, in our case, was the first day home from the hospital. There was never any infatuation. Mother had a duty to feed son, and hated it. Beyond that, she wanted nothing to do with him, but went through the motions out of a sense of duty. If this sounds unreal - that's part of the problem. Not only is she feeling like shit, she feels like EXTRA shit because everyone expects her to be over the moon in love, and she's not. So she feels like shit plus guilt, awesome combo.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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My wife was like that. 10 years later she still doesn't like the kids much. Just be on the look out.
Izo
Tranny Chaser
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All the power to you for being the strong parent whom holds it together. That is a-grade parenting and partnering. Support your better half and she will come around and do her part eventually. Postpartum depression is no joke, although it's not uncommon. Happens to fathers too. It takes time to get over, medication has a build up period, usually 3-6 weeks to kick in with full effect.
It sucks royal donkey balls to not be able to feel or live the, now apparent, superficial and glorified dream of parenthood. Being a parent is tough, rough on the sleep, and quite frankly is not very rewarding for the first couple of weeks. It's a major hit to self esteem, sense of worth, feeling inadequate, despairing, breastfeeding not working, or feeling guilty for being non-infatuated. Other peoples imposing emotions on top of this is difficult to handle.
I've seen variations of postpartum depression many times with parents of neonatals, whom have had very little time to adjust or build an emotional attachment, sometimes not experiencing a vaginal birth. Perhaps they lost a twin in the process, or later mors in the incubator, and they may or may not lose another. Bonding with the surviving twin is hard with that baggage, yet survival of the kid depends on this.
It gets better. It has to. And it does in the vast majority of cases. Parenting for 20+ years is a long time. What is a few weeks or months in the beginning in the grand scheme of things? Give yourself room to fail as well as soar on wings when things go your way.
G'luck Thengal. Respect.
lindz
#DDs
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I had some of that with my first. I remember a couple days after I came home I kept bursting into tears. My husband kept asking me what was wrong but I couldn't put it into words. The hormones were so overwhelming and I wasn't feeling that 'connection" that I kept hearing about. Everyone would say "isn't the birth amazing!? how you are just so in love and connected with this baby the second it is born!?" I didn't feel that right then and I felt terrible, like there was something horribly wrong with me, like I was failing as a mother.
It went away and I did develop that bond. The next babies I did feel that right away. It wasn't as hard and the hormones were easier to deal with. That first baby is insanely hard, I don't think woman can ever be prepared for it entirely. We hear about post-parrtum depression, but nothing prepares you for how it really feels.
Glad that your wife is starting to feel better and that you guys are getting the proper treatment. It will pass, but it is definitely tough.
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We're changing medication for our 5 year old for his ADHD. We're moving to Strattera. It's a non-stimulant, and is supposed to work 24 hours. What he's on now is working - his impulse control is vastly improved during school hours, and he is doing much better. He's learning more, and he's so much more satisfied with himself at the end of the school day, rather than frustrated with himself because he just made bad decisions.
The issue is that he's having crashes when the meds wear off. He gets incredibly frustrated with himself because he doesn't have the same control he did in the morning, and he lashes out. This is why we're trying the 24 hour drug.
I hate, hate, hate having my youngest on every day drugs, but the opportunities it's opening for him certainly make it worth it. Le Sigh.
The issue is that he's having crashes when the meds wear off. He gets incredibly frustrated with himself because he doesn't have the same control he did in the morning, and he lashes out. This is why we're trying the 24 hour drug.
I hate, hate, hate having my youngest on every day drugs, but the opportunities it's opening for him certainly make it worth it. Le Sigh.
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Yeah selective norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors are much better than stimulants like ritalin and adderall. Wish I could have afforded to stick with strattera!
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My drug plan makes it 10$ a month. Quite a bargain. That shit is expensive!
chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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I think I may have asked you this before, but what specific behaviors did your son have that made you think there was a problem? One of my daughters seems to have a real hard time focusing and just bounces off the wall 24/7. She's still young so we're not really sweating it or making any determinations about what we think it could be(if anything), it makes it really difficult to teach her anything though.
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It was mostly the absolute inability to control himself. He'd be standing in line at school, and he wouldn't want to fool around with the hair of the girl in front of him, but his hands just ended up doing it. He'd get in trouble, he'd feel badly about himself, because he really didn't want to behave that way, but he couldn't help himself.
That might seem trivial to some, but the fact that he was expressing extreme disappointment in himself was a huge warning marker. He knew how he should behave, he couldn't make himself do it. He'd be angry at himself, and he'd feel stupid. Repeat about 100 times a day. Tough on his self esteem. Hard for teachers to cope with and make into a productive, learning situation.
We had him tested several times by different Psychologists, too. If you think your children are displaying signs, get some testing done. I'm not at all suggesting that medication is the answer for every kid, and I know it's entirely over-diagnosed. It has had a very seriously positive impact on my son's learning, and on his self esteem, and on his relationship with his teachers and classmates.
That might seem trivial to some, but the fact that he was expressing extreme disappointment in himself was a huge warning marker. He knew how he should behave, he couldn't make himself do it. He'd be angry at himself, and he'd feel stupid. Repeat about 100 times a day. Tough on his self esteem. Hard for teachers to cope with and make into a productive, learning situation.
We had him tested several times by different Psychologists, too. If you think your children are displaying signs, get some testing done. I'm not at all suggesting that medication is the answer for every kid, and I know it's entirely over-diagnosed. It has had a very seriously positive impact on my son's learning, and on his self esteem, and on his relationship with his teachers and classmates.
chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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Yeah sounds familiar. My daughter does that a lot, where she misbehaves and she understands what not to do and doesn't want to (or seems like it) and does it anyway and then gets really frustrated when she gets in trouble. But she is so young it is hard to tell if that is really abnormal behavior for a 3 year old. Our pediatrician didn't even want to talk about it at this stage.
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Yeah. Mine is six in a month, and we're just getting started with the meds thing. And he just got sick and threw up first morning on Strattera. Sigh. This could be a battle to get adapted to this.
Vandyn
Blackwing Lair Raider
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My 6 year old is like that sometimes. She's a perfectionist in a lot of ways and hates when does something 'wrong' because it gets us upset with her, but yet it still doesn't stop her from doing it. Like always telling her not to climb trees because she could get hurt, goes and climbs a tree, gets a scrape and starts crying. I ask her what happened, she says she climbed a tree and then before I say anything else she says sorry over and over. She was more upset about that then getting hurt after that (it was a nasty looking one though).
Joeboo
Molten Core Raider
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Crone
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Yay for kids! Wife is pregnant with our 2nd! 12 weeks in! Can't wait to find out the sex! Our baby boy will be 1 year old April 3rd, so we didn't waste anytime!
Our "viewer" piece, I had posted, stopped working, and we ended up going with a cheap audio only monitor since we do not worry anymore about his position, or what he's doing in the crib. For sure will be looking into dropcam though for the new baby, in our new house as I remember watching that thing like a hawk every time the baby slept.
Our "viewer" piece, I had posted, stopped working, and we ended up going with a cheap audio only monitor since we do not worry anymore about his position, or what he's doing in the crib. For sure will be looking into dropcam though for the new baby, in our new house as I remember watching that thing like a hawk every time the baby slept.