Pregnancy Thread

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Joeboo

Joeboo

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Wuyley_sl said:
I am 31 and IF I ever have kids it will be around 35ish I think. Did the doctor talk to you about increased chance of defects, retardation, etc., because of that age or is the 30's still in the "safe" zone.

I know you can do tests during pregnancy to see if your kid will be retarded / handicapped / whatever and I would hate to have to make that decision but I would almost rather abort the baby then have to leave with that the rest of our lives. Now that is an easy answer for me right now because I am not actually going through that but god damn....




We need kids to still do that at our age? FUUUUUUUUUUU
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Yep, pretty much every doctor we have seen so far has walked into the room, looked at our file, and replied "Oh, you're old". Blunt and to the point. My wife is 36(will be 37 by delivery date) and I'm 35, so they went over all the increased risks. It kindof scares you a bit when they first start throwing all the numbers at you. Thing is, you're talking about stuff like a 1 in 50,000 chance of whatever when you are young, vs a 1 in 10,000 after the age of 35. So while "5x more likely" sounds horrible to begin with, you're still talking about numbers that are still tiny fractions of even 1%.

A few of the doctors had my wife nearly in tears until I had to rationally remind her that a 1 in 7500 chance or some random disease/syndrome is still really, really rare.

Look at this chart for instance:
afp20000815p825-f1.gif


At first glance you're like OMG that thing goes nuts past the age of 30, but in reality you're looking at like .1% chance at age 30 to what, maybe .7% chance at age 40? "7 times more likely" sound scary as hell, but you're still talking about fractions of 1%. Really, really, really unlikely, plus they can test ahead of time for most defects anymore, so it's not like you're going to be completely in the dark until the day of the birth, wondering if your child is going to come out as a mutant or something.

We definitely don't plan on having any kids past the age of 40...shit does get kind of scary past 40 at the %s. So we're probably looking at 2 kids tops, unless the second go around yields twins or something crazy like that.

We were a *little* worried about the possibility of twins initially, my father is an identical twin and my wifes father is a fraternal twin. Gotta think that has to increase your odds of having twins at least slightly if we both have a parent that is a twin.
 
E

etoille

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joeboo_sl said:
Yep, pretty much every doctor we have seen so far has walked into the room, looked at our file, and replied "Oh, you're old". Blunt and to the point. My wife is 36(will be 37 by delivery date) and I'm 35, so they went over all the increased risks. It kindof scares you a bit when they first start throwing all the numbers at you. Thing is, you're talking about stuff like a 1 in 50,000 chance of whatever when you are young, vs a 1 in 10,000 after the age of 35. So while "5x more likely" sounds horrible to begin with, you're still talking about numbers that are still tiny fractions of even 1%.

A few of the doctors had my wife nearly in tears until I had to rationally remind her that a 1 in 7500 chance or some random disease/syndrome is still really, really rare.

Look at this chart for instance:
afp20000815p825-f1.gif


At first glance you're like OMG that thing goes nuts past the age of 30, but in reality you're looking at like .1% chance at age 30 to what, maybe .7% chance at age 40? "7 times more likely" sound scary as hell, but you're still talking about fractions of 1%. Really, really, really unlikely, plus they can test ahead of time for most defects anymore, so it's not like you're going to be completely in the dark until the day of the birth, wondering if your child is going to come out as a mutant or something.

We definitely don't plan on having any kids past the age of 40...shit does get kind of scary past 40 at the %s. So we're probably looking at 2 kids tops, unless the second go around yields twins or something crazy like that.

We were a *little* worried about the possibility of twins initially, my father is an identical twin and my wifes father is a fraternal twin. Gotta think that has to increase your odds of having twins at least slightly if we both have a parent that is a twin.
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just a minor point here - your (when I say your, in this case I specifically mean you, I'm not talking about your wife, that's a separate thing) parents have nothing to do with your chances of conceiving twins. now if you were female and your father was a fraternal twin then you could have an increased chance for twins. fraternal twins are related to a hyperovulation sex linked mutation. which means that it could be that the X chromosome from his mom who carried the hyperovulation gene contributed to him could be passed to you and you would hyperovulate (again, you are a woman in this scenario) - but you as a man yourself don't have any increased chances of multiples b/c your father was a twin because your father didn't contribute an X to you - he contributed a Y and therefore no hyperovulation mutation. If it was your mom that was a fraternal twin she could pass her hyperovulation gene to you (50%/100% chance depending on whether she's heterozygous or homozygous) and then this would then show up in your female offspring you contribute that X to but you yourself wouldn't have an increased chance for multiple offspring - and this is before you account for the fact that identical twins are completely spontaneous and its not thought to be genetically linked whatsoever. or at least not proven.

your wifes father being a fraternal twin however might increase her chances for hyperovulation and therefore multiples as discussed above
smile.png
but the genotype for hyperovulation (I can't remember if its recessive or dominant but I feel like its dominant b/c it doesn't make sense otherwise) doesn't result in 100% phenotypical expression (meaning hyperovulation doesnt' always happen).

yay genetics are fun
smile.png
my father wasn't a twin but he had two twin brothers so I carry the same chance for inheritance of the hyperovulation on the x chromosome contributed by my dad - my mom was adopted so total unknown there.

in re the whole age thing....husband is 36 at the time we conceived and I was nearly 32. We're planning on 3....my guess is that we'll be kind of under the same time constraints you are. but the good news is that I'll be 35 then at the latest which does go a long way towards decreasing risk for downs, other trisomies etc. I'm actually hoping for twins a little second time around
smile.png
just a little.

edited - my brain took a crap there for a second.
 
OneofOne

OneofOne

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Enjoy your last few weeks of sleep then, you'll miss them when they're gone. I know I do =/
 
chaos

chaos

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yeah, you will look back here pretty soon and think "FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK i wish I had slept in a couple of times."
 
ToeMissile

ToeMissile

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Twins, I've heard it tends to skip generations. Anecdote:

My mother's mother was a twin, I have twin sisters.
 
Conefed

Conefed

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Pregnancy has triggered some dormant psychosis in my fiancee. She has been in the mental ward since late January. She entered her 2nd trimester last week. Life's all full of uncertainty now.
 
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niss_sl

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Ultrasounds taken 8-12 weeks are more accurate than the detailed ones in 2nd trimester. All babies tend to grow at the same rate in the first trimester but then they may diverge.

Etoille_sl said:
20 week scan went well today - except kid did NOT want a picture of their face at all - tech and doctor gave up after about 30 mins. they were able to get what they needed from a series of partial shots (ensuring no cleft palate) but they wanted to get one of those 3d headshots and kid just wasn't having it. all measurements look great, no soft markers, no low lying or anterior placenta, kid apparently is quite leggy as well.

now measuring closer to what we originally thought our due date was (7/13).....now they are est around 7/14 but first two ultrasounds thought 7/18. At the end of the day doesn't matter really. its a coupla days and kid will come whenever its done cooking.

completely in love with this baby.
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E

etoille

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niss_sl said:
Ultrasounds taken 8-12 weeks are more accurate than the detailed ones in 2nd trimester. All babies tend to grow at the same rate in the first trimester but then they may diverge.
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yeah fundamentally I decided my last day at work will be 7/3 anyways - seriously eff work right now and then the 4th of july counts as one of the 5 I have to take before short term disability kicks in - and either way its within a 2 week window basically (the first day of STD) of my due date.

I think I'm going through nesting early. I sat up straight out of bed this morning and decided to ransack the pantry on a 'throw this stuff out' spree and re-arrange, clean etc the entire kitchen. ordered baby furniture yesterday, which means everything for the nursery is on its way.

next big thing I have to do is get quotes etc for painting and drywall so I can get that done end of april/early may ish.
 
Eomer

Eomer

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Sacel_sl said:
Pregnancy has triggered some dormant psychosis in my fiancee. She has been in the mental ward since late January. She entered her 2nd trimester last week. Life's all full of uncertainty now.
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The fuck? If this is serious, that's awful man. Hope things work out in the end for everyone.

On a personal note, my sister and her husband decided to try for a second kid last year. My nephew is about 2 and a half. She had a miscarriage before she had him, and apparently had another one late in 2012. She managed to get knocked up again, and hilariously enough, she's now expecting twins. My parents are thrilled.
 
Conefed

Conefed

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Eomer_sl said:
The fuck? If this is serious, that's awful man. Hope things work out in the end for everyone.
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It's real. I try to visit her every other day because it gets a bit much and I need a day in between to recoup.
Wednesday is her release date. Tomorrow is her hearing. She's not ready, but at the same time the place she's at is too intense and the employees that spend the most time with her don't care, don't listen, and respond to her in the worst ways imaginable. I'm about ready to take her home and endure the consequences. She's not taking this as a time for self reflection and improvement. She's lashing out and spiraling downward into paranoia.
 
Falstaff

Falstaff

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We are going to register on Friday and I have no fucking clue what the hottest strollers and car seats and carriers are these days. Someone give me some recommendations so my baby isn't rolling around in last seasons models.
 
Joeboo

Joeboo

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We're also right in the middle of trying to figure out car seats, strollers, and all that crap.

We can't decide whether to initially get a modular car seat that is basically a carrier + buy extra bases to put in each car(and my moms, who will be babysitting a lot), but those only hold a child up until like 20 lbs, or just get the full-blown car seats that go up to like 40-50 lbs for each vehicle just right off the bat. The modular system is cheaper initially, and easier since it turns into a carrier without having to move the child but is more expensive in the long run since you have to buy a normal carseat in a year or two anyways.

Anyone have any thoughts on which way they went with carseats? Modular + 2 extra bases is looking at like $300ish up front, whereas 3 full-blown carseats is like a $500-$600 investment up front, but no more purchases down the road.

How well does baby stuff hold its value if we try to sell the modular ones off via craigslist or something in a year or 18 months when the kid outgrows it?
 
chaos

chaos

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I went with the modular then bigger carseat and then booster. The convenience of the modular carseat with a newborn just cannot be ignored. Just make sure and get the kind with the triangle handle thing on the handle, those things kill your arms. It does cost more money so if money is that much of a concern then just go straight carseat. The strollers that come with those travel systems are always subpar anyway.
 
OneofOne

OneofOne

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City Mini stroller is the way to go. We take it out a lot since we go for evening walks, or drive out to the local parks. Light, easy to use, and folds by pulling a single strap. I'm biased against strollers that fit a car seat in from hearing too much negative from family/friends/co-workers.
 
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