Pregnancy Thread

One advantage of the c-section is that they don't get their head all squashed passing through the vajayjay, so they look less like an alien in newborn pics.

That, and they don't get their vajinga wrecked

Vajingas heal because doctors.

Yup, my wife had a class 2 tear down there and after a little time to heal, I can't tell any difference post baby. Taste the same to me.

Congrats man. If I remember right, your wife was due the same week as mine. That makes me nervous now! Good looking kid

Thanks again everyone
He was originally due April 29 but my wife had been having high bp issues and was diagnosed with pre eclampsia. During the non stress test yesterday she hit 178/71 and that was the final straw for our doctor.
All the nurses are amazed that a 36 week old strtrd nursing immediately with very little help including lifting his head to reposition with the boob still in his mouth. His arms are frickdn strong. He can actually make you have to use efort to move his arm if he resists. My wife gave birth to fuckin Colossus or something. I ain't complaining! Haha

The Ancient_sl said:

Vajingas heal because doctors.

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Our finnish collegues use 4 basic grips. They've had succes reducing grade 3-4 tears (OASIS, obst. anal. sph. inj.) with 50%. Going to learn the techniques this weekend. They published in BMJ 2012. Quite a revolution.
BMJ Open | Mobile

Why are you learning birthing grips?

Are you moonlighting as a midwife or something? Yall do medicine kinda weird over there. GP's over here ain't gonna be delivering no babies. I mean the woman does most of the work anyway and the doctor is mostly there to repair any damage that might occur in the process and to evaluate the infant... but he's gonna be sending your ass to the hospital if it is at all possible.

Protip: USE THE NURSERY lol. Sent our boy to the nursery down the hall last night in between feedings so everyone could stay rested. Made a world of difference this morning. Everyone, especially the little guy, are doing so much better today.
We figured it'd be best to stay well rested while we have the help before we head home and are on our own.

Man, going home was such a surreal moment. "Wait, you're just going to let me walk out of here with this thing?"

opiate82_sl said:

Man, going home was such a surreal moment. "Wait, you're just going to let me walk out of here with this thing?"

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That's when it becomes real! lol!

I am super excited to take him home and absofuckinglutely dreading it all at the same time. Lol

opiate82_sl said:

Man, going home was such a surreal moment. "Wait, you're just going to let me walk out of here with this thing?"

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Haha, yeah it's amazing how perfectly incapable you can feel of doing something that humanity has done literally for the entirety of our existence.

Iannis_sl said:

Why are you learning birthing grips?

Are you moonlighting as a midwife or something? Yall do medicine kinda weird over there. GP's over here ain't gonna be delivering no babies. I mean the woman does most of the work anyway and the doctor is mostly there to repair any damage that might occur in the process and to evaluate the infant... but he's gonna be sending your ass to the hospital if it is at all possible.

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It's a seminar, call it professional curiosity. I'm there for the techniques, laparoscopic blackbox training and gourmet food. Totally not for the hot women. No, siree.

Paging Dr Izo to the bajingo ward.

Officially going home today. My wife has a friend who works in a NICU so I think we might have her swing by today. That would definitely calm my wife's nerves about taking this squishy guy home today.

Just don't drop him on his head.

And if you accidentally do, the 3 second rule applies.

The Ancient_sl said:

Vajingas heal because doctors.

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Something I forgot to bring up in this conversation. One part of the vagina that typically does get wrecked for a while after childbirth is the self-lubrication feature (especially if breastfeeding?). Not a bad to have some lubeon handfor the waiting period while it heals up as well as once the green light to play ball has been given.

I believe this is true of c-section vaginas as well.

So the wife complained about ... "pain" yesterday. Called me during the day that she's having contractions. Told her to call the midwife and doctor in that order. Both said to get to the hospital. We're in week 32 so it's a bit early still.

Drive home from work, take her to hospital, no clothes aboard because she's like "they'll give me a pill and we'll be out of there".

NOPE.

Lung development shot to the mother's ass, and an infusion for 24+ hours to stop the contractions.

Having to stay the night (and another night) sent her over the edge, hormones and all that shit. So there I was, kid at home with grandma, wife in tears, and a trip back home to pick up some underwear and stuff for the wife to deliver right back. While picking clothes and toothbrush, take kid to bed and explain why mommy is not there.

Got up for work at 5:45.
Went to bed at 0:45.
Don't want to do again.


Nothing has opened so far so I'm content that there's nothing wrong. Must have been the leg-shaking orgasm I gave her sunday night that kicked this off.

Sex can induce labor, you filthy goddamn porn star

Wife just had an ultrasound. Baby is measuring pretty small (10th percentile) at 5.5 lbs with 3 weeks left. Tech said not to worry, so of course my wife is in a panic.

Not sure how to handle this. She works out obsessively and I've been telling her to cool down until the baby is born, I'm wondering if she's hurting the baby.