Rings of Power: Tolkien's Shambling Skinsuit

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spronk

FPS noob
23,460
27,422
galadriel's pussy so stanky celeborn is pretending to be dead for thousands of years

so many dumb moments, like daddy harfoot making a stupid speech about warning Gandalf the Retard because they don't leave friends behind even though we've spent multiple episodes about how harfoots leave you behind if you are slow or the queen going blind somehow even though no one else did and her face is perfectly fine. Or Halbrend "needing elf medicine for his wounds", and then galloping on a horse 30 seconds later with a wound that is bleeding through bandages.

i guess at least the last 2 episodes have been bottom tier mediocre, but really episode 7 should have been episode 2 or 3 and almost everything from 1-5 could have been cut.

if halbrend is sauron ...
y5drb0jr2gs91.png
 
  • 5Worf
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Penance

Silver Baronet of the Realm
6,840
9,179
This show could've literally just been about the drawves and it would've been 100x better.

E rod doesn't make a horrible elf, his design of course just sucks.

I still hate every scene with Galadriel.

And this hobbit story just feels so out of place.
 

Oldbased

> Than U
28,521
67,574
galadriel's pussy so stanky celeborn is pretending to be dead for thousands of years

so many dumb moments, like daddy harfoot making a stupid speech about warning Gandalf the Retard because they don't leave friends behind even though we've spent multiple episodes about how harfoots leave you behind if you are slow or the queen going blind somehow even though no one else did and her face is perfectly fine. Or Halbrend "needing elf medicine for his wounds", and then galloping on a horse 30 seconds later with a wound that is bleeding through bandages.

i guess at least the last 2 episodes have been bottom tier mediocre, but really episode 7 should have been episode 2 or 3 and almost everything from 1-5 could have been cut.

if halbrend is sauron ...
y5drb0jr2gs91.png
You left out what made me roll my eyes right off the bat.
She was knocked down, but houses not only blown halfway apart ( would be 160 mph winds ) but also encased in flame burst. So hardened wood burst on fire all over, but no one suffered any burns? The dead seemed mostly dead due to being hit by debris or being trapped in flame engulfed timbers.

I like the scenes with Galadriel.
She 100% reminds me of this bitch me and my buds knew in HS who was just a stoney faced bitch. We joked a year how she just needed to get laid, so one of my buddies started courting her to get a date. 1 month later she was miss party and almost gypsy like. Once she got that dick her whole world changed.
 
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Arden

Blackwing Lair Raider
2,777
2,080
I spat up my drink when I saw that terrible ass "The Southlands"....."Mordor" on screen word transition there at the end. Holy fuck did that feel like it was meant for some retard demographic. Was that supposed to be some big "AHA!" moment they thought?

Yeah that was awful. Lots of better ways to handle that scene. You could have Adar just say "Mordor" or (even better) just not have him say anything at all and close the scene with the shot of what is clearly Mount Doom in the background because, hey, we all know what it means. The cheesy "Southlands" fading away and being replaced with "Mordor" graphic was mind-bogglingly ham fisted. Shows that don't respect the intelligence of their audience are always lesser for it.

Still enjoying the show, but a little less now. I hate the "mithril somehow restores elf magic" plot line. Doesn't fit Tolkien at all. Not turned off enough to stop watching, but annoyed with some stuff.

Frankly, this show reminds me a little bit of what happens when shows have too many cooks in the kitchen. You get moments of brilliance followed up by random moments of WTF stupidity. The best shows are those where you have one or two creative directors and they run the show with an iron fist. What do I mean? Take shows like Deadwood or Breaking Bad. There were plenty of writers and directors in both of those shows, but it is very clear when you watch the show that what you are seeing in every episode is the creative vision of David Milch and Vince Gilligan. This show isn't as bad as Westworld got, but you still get the impression there's a little bit of the "creative direction by committee" approach to it.
 
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Chukzombi

Millie's Staff Member
73,108
214,398
You left out what made me roll my eyes right off the bat.
She was knocked down, but houses not only blown halfway apart ( would be 160 mph winds ) but also encased in flame burst. So hardened wood burst on fire all over, but no one suffered any burns? The dead seemed mostly dead due to being hit by debris or being trapped in flame engulfed timbers.

I like the scenes with Galadriel.
She 100% reminds me of this bitch me and my buds knew in HS who was just a stoney faced bitch. We joked a year how she just needed to get laid, so one of my buddies started courting her to get a date. 1 month later she was miss party and almost gypsy like. Once she got that dick her whole world changed.
dude thats most girls in high school. thats why house/woods parties are so important. invite everyone over, have that big dude with a mustache buy all the beer and convince the class chad to come too and all the girls with crushes on him will show up. nature does the rest. all the chicks were sluts by senior year.
 
  • 1Pathetic
  • 1Picard
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Furry

🌭🍔🇺🇦✌️SLAVA UKRAINI!✌️🇺🇦🍔🌭
<Gold Donor>
22,248
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Not much in chukzombi's how to catch fatties, but....

Durin and the kweeness were standouts in this depressing episode. Seriously, give them better shows. I thought they'd be the cringe center of this disaster, but they are instead repeatedly its golden nugget.
 
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Chris

Potato del Grande
19,593
-10,640
So much poetry.

Did anyone catch that they mirrored the forming of The Fellowship of the Ring with the Harfoots saying they would just the expedition to help Gandalf?

Or "Where is my son..."
 

reavor

I'm With HER ♀
<Bronze Donator>
5,244
18,175
Or Galadriel and boy hiding under a tree and the orcs sniffing the air standing over it. this show is so bad, and yes the dwarves are really cringe and un-tolkienesque too.
 
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  • 1Worf
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Aldarion

Egg Nazi
9,872
27,146
Yeah that was awful. Lots of better ways to handle that scene. You could have Adar just say "Mordor" or (even better) just not have him say anything at all and close the scene with the shot of what is clearly Mount Doom in the background because, hey, we all know what it means. The cheesy "Southlands" fading away and being replaced with "Mordor" graphic was mind-bogglingly ham fisted. Shows that don't respect the intelligence of their audience are always lesser for it.

Still enjoying the show, but a little less now. I hate the "mithril somehow restores elf magic" plot line. Doesn't fit Tolkien at all. Not turned off enough to stop watching, but annoyed with some stuff.

Frankly, this show reminds me a little bit of what happens when shows have too many cooks in the kitchen. You get moments of brilliance followed up by random moments of WTF stupidity. The best shows are those where you have one or two creative directors and they run the show with an iron fist. What do I mean? Take shows like Deadwood or Breaking Bad. There were plenty of writers and directors in both of those shows, but it is very clear when you watch the show that what you are seeing in every episode is the creative vision of David Milch and Vince Gilligan. This show isn't as bad as Westworld got, but you still get the impression there's a little bit of the "creative direction by committee" approach to it.
Consistently, the last moment of each episode is the worst.

They keep doing these absolutely retarded last second "reveals", and horribly.

This show would be far better if they cut the last 10-20 second from each episode.
 
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Chris

Potato del Grande
19,593
-10,640
I do like the Dwarf stuff, but they haven't established the Elf/Dwarf rivalry/hatred at all.

That's fine in a movie, but in a TV show it's the perfect thing to explore. They just had some stuff about missing the wedding/births etc, which was good but not enough.
 

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
43,900
52,634
I do like the Dwarf stuff, but they haven't established the Elf/Dwarf rivalry/hatred at all.
Almost like they don't have the rights to the events that precipitated that hatred or something.
 
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Chris

Potato del Grande
19,593
-10,640
Almost like they don't have the rights to the events that precipitated that hatred or something.
Yeah I just don't understand the rights issues, why make this without having them all?
 
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lgarthy

<Silver Donator>
3,368
14,815
This episode was slow. It's becoming dumb entertainment. I don't mind Elrond or the elves.

Don't know who the fire-stealing/throwing/staff holding people were though. Did I miss something?

It is really dumb what they did in those closing seconds. That's what SERIOUSLY bad movies do when they show you an iconic city and put giantic yellow bold font over 75% of the screen and state "PARIS" or "NEW YORK CITY."

It's a massive mishmash of research and spontaneous stupidity. I listened to part of a podcast that went over how some of the team learned the Tolkiens languages and put hours into characters names. But then it is clearly evident that there are writers that are just pushing out what they think is cool (and stupid). So it all goes into the mix. Comes back again to the lead writing team dropping the ball. Or rather the lack of a lead writer...

When do we meet the wonder twins and their weirdly incestuous (and maybe zoophilic) relationship?

1665241112224.png
 

lgarthy

<Silver Donator>
3,368
14,815
PS-- just watched some nerdist podcast thing on youtube going over the seventh episode. While it was clear that the staff of nerdist didn't LOVE the episode (or the prior ones), they bring up a ton of points that make it clear that there actually is a solid research staff behind this thing.

It's incredible to me how all it might take is one JJ Abrahms/Micheal Bay type to fuck up hundreds of millions of dollars and thousands of people's hard work.
 

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
43,900
52,634
they bring up a ton of points that make it clear that there actually is a solid research staff behind this thing.
Yeah you have to know something pretty well to ruin every aspect of it so thoroughly.
 
  • 3Worf
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Furry

🌭🍔🇺🇦✌️SLAVA UKRAINI!✌️🇺🇦🍔🌭
<Gold Donor>
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Yeah you have to know something pretty well to ruin every aspect of it so thoroughly.
I'm a strong believer in Occam's razor. I believe that their ruining of everything comes from their very lazy and inept research staff. They picked out bits and pieces here and there, but didn't research the topic deep enough to have any understanding of context or how parts relate to one another. It's enough that someone could say "See they did their research, they worked this easter egg into the show!!!!". I mean the volcano scene is enough to justify my reasoning. They didn't even take the time to understand how a volcano works past "It's a volcano! Lava and smoke come out!!!".

I have no doubt they loathe the source material on top of that, but I certainly don't think they put in the work to understand why they loath it other than "white man wrote".
 

Penance

Silver Baronet of the Realm
6,840
9,179
I mean you can forgive all the lore aspects, bad casting and design and plot holes and at its heart the show still has incredibly laughable characters and shitty story telling.

Why they keep giving JJ and anybody connected to him any work in Hollywood just completely baffles me. The guy ruins IPs like clockwork.