You do understand that release is in 6 weeks, right? The model you saw at the conference was almost certainly the real deal. Apple doesn't typically change anything 6 weeks from release, and certainly not the major design decisions. They are either ready at this point, or they're not, and my opinion (which is every bit as valid as yours, only much less frothy and rage-like) is that they're not ready with rev 1.0 from a technical standpoint. It's a reasonably good looking watch that is tethered to a phone to achieve most of its functionality, and that's all. Not enough of a step up from a Pebble to bother with at this point.
Of course the reviews were written from a script. Do you even Apple, bro? Media control is their thing.
And no, I don't need a forum feature to ignore you. I'll let Vaclav know that you're missing him dearly, though. You're welcome.