Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!

Zapatta

Krugman's Fax Machine
<Gold Donor>
80,789
422,757
It did. The movies are toast. They should just reboot episode 7 and start from scratch.

aka Sony Spiderman Syndrome?

Maybe they should use only the universe and drop are the old heroes all plot threads and lore. Do a 'Guardians of the Galaxy' thing and step out of the traps of expectations.
 
Last edited:

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
<Gold Donor>
47,379
80,797
aka Sony Spiderman Syndrome?

Maybe they should use only the universe and drop are the old heroes all plot threads and lore. Do a 'Guardians of the Galaxy' thing and step out of the traps of expectations.
Problem: The team that made TLJ can't do anything but make a pile of shit.

The handling of Luke is just a red herring. Everything about the movie sucked, but people have emotional attachment to Luke. If they handled Luke perfectly, or didn't have his shadow cast on it the movie would still suck.
 
  • 4Solidarity
Reactions: 3 users

Heylel

Trakanon Raider
3,602
430
So many other things pissed me off first, that I haven't even gotten around to being upset a bout how Luke was mishandled.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user

Rude

Potato del Grande
3,809
12,011
It did. The movies are toast. They should just reboot episode 7 and start from scratch.
Make sure if the new lead ends up being female that she isn't the embodiment of a Mary Sue. And don't clone anymore movies with the only difference being a much less likable cast.
 
  • 1Like
  • 1Picard
Reactions: 1 users

kegkilla

The Big Mod
<Banned>
11,320
14,739
Will episode 9 be a love triangle between Finn Rey and Chubs?
PF Chang forcing a kiss on Finn was sexual assault. I expect Episode 9 to open with the rebellion ethics council terminating the dumpling so the young girls watching this know not to rape.
 
  • 6Worf
  • 4Solidarity
Reactions: 9 users

Daezuel

Potato del Grande
23,408
50,227
That's basically what I've been saying. I could forgive a lot of shit, but there is sooo much wrong with this film on so many levels it's impossible to ignore. I guess being a flawed ass blockbuster is something professional reviewers are looking for or something. I don't get it.
 
  • 3Like
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 3 users

Zapatta

Krugman's Fax Machine
<Gold Donor>
80,789
422,757
Problem: The team that made TLJ can't do anything but make a pile of shit.

The handling of Luke is just a red herring. Everything about the movie sucked, but people have emotional attachment to Luke. If they handled Luke perfectly, or didn't have his shadow cast on it the movie would still suck.

I think the shoes are too big to fill, the previous movies box writters in too much.
Lucas couldnt even deliver a decent follow up.

I could watch 3 - 4 SW movies with no force or jedis, just a random nobody bounty hunter chase random nobody targets across a SW universe full of cool ships and awesome planets. The old story lines are dead ends.
 
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 1 user

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
43,737
52,285
it made you care enough about the characters

Hwunn5U.jpg


There is literally no possible way you could be talking about Rogue One.
 
  • 4Worf
  • 3Solidarity
  • 1Picard
Reactions: 7 users

Daezuel

Potato del Grande
23,408
50,227
Rogue One was shit but the Vader scene was bad ass and I'm 100% convinced if you replaced the score with John Williams it'd raise the score of the film up a full 2 points.
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
<Gold Donor>
47,379
80,797
That's basically what I've been saying. I could forgive a lot of shit, but there is sooo much wrong with this film on so many levels it's impossible to ignore. I guess being a flawed ass blockbuster is something professional reviewers are looking for or something. I don't get it.
This sums up how I feel. This movie isn't even worth pondering how many levels it's shitty. It's not even worth looking up videos of people who spend a lot of effort trashing it because it's like pointing out the turds in the bottom of a never-emptied outhouse.

Actually, what I'd really appreciate is a sequel to this:


That considers TLJ.
 
  • 4Worf
Reactions: 3 users

Daezuel

Potato del Grande
23,408
50,227
Still, retarded to go back and fill in shit instead of moving forward. We already knew the results of Rogue One before the first line was ever written.

Recent Star Trek suffers from this too. There is so much space to grow in these universes and yet they think shoveling us the same old shit is what we want.

Should have left the OT alone and left that shit to our imaginations.
 
  • 2Solidarity
  • 1Like
Reactions: 2 users

kegkilla

The Big Mod
<Banned>
11,320
14,739
aka Sony Spiderman Syndrome?

Maybe they should use only the universe and drop are the old heroes all plot threads and lore. Do a 'Guardians of the Galaxy' thing and step out of the traps of expectations.
They could do that, but the movies won't sell as well as the ones that leverage the established characters that people actually give a shit about. So, they'll continue to rape and pillage your nostalgia in the name of more money, then openly mock you by giving you an anti-capitalism lecture in the middle of their shitty movie.
 
  • 2Like
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 2 users

Heylel

Trakanon Raider
3,602
430
There is so much space to grow in these universes and yet they think shoveling us the same old shit is what we want.

I want *some* of the same old shit. I want a proper hero's journey. Star Wars is modern myth in a very traditional way. I didn't need it deconstructed by Johnson so he could "subvert my expectations."

Star Wars is about fucking space wizards. Give me my goddamn space wizards doing space wizard shit with a protagonist who isn't just an audience stand in.
 
  • 3Like
  • 2Solidarity
Reactions: 4 users

Zapatta

Krugman's Fax Machine
<Gold Donor>
80,789
422,757
I've got a few ideas from chatting with people outside of this forum, but I'm clearly in the minority in this thread at this point.

AFAIK I know to you are the epitome of Star Wars = Pizza. i.e. even bad pizza is still good. Which is great for you, but sucks for us.
 
  • 1Like
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 1 users

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
43,737
52,285
Someone already answered the Rotten Tomato score question. IIRC it just means that 92% of people think the movie is a 6/10 or better. Doesn't mean that the average score is a 92/100.
 
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 1 user

Daezuel

Potato del Grande
23,408
50,227
Someone already answered the Rotten Tomato score question. IIRC it just means that 92% of people think the movie is a 6/10 or better. Doesn't mean that the average score is a 92/100.

I walked out thinking this was a 6/10, only took a few hours of thinking about the movie to move it down a few points. Now I actively hate it. Sucks, I don't want to hate anything Star Wars.
 
  • 2Solidarity
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 2 users

Zapatta

Krugman's Fax Machine
<Gold Donor>
80,789
422,757
I want *some* of the same old shit. I want a proper hero's journey. Star Wars is modern myth in a very traditional way. I didn't need it deconstructed by Johnson so he could "subvert my expectations."

Star Wars is about fucking space wizards. Give me my goddamn space wizards doing space wizard shit with a protagonist who isn't just an audience stand in.

I'd be happy if they just went back to stealing from Kurosawa and left it as space samurai.
 
  • 3Solidarity
  • 1Picard
Reactions: 3 users