Terrible Jokes Thread

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TJR

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
2,568
30,393
Called the book store today to check on the book I ordered.
Me: Did you get the book about small penis?
Store: No, it's not in yet.
Me: Yes, that's the one.
 
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PreacherX

PreacherX

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
5,467
22,432
There are four kinds of sex.

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your ex and their lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.
 
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Rathar

Rathar

<Bronze Donator>
618
1,120
“Supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether it’s ultraviolet or just very powerful light ... and then I said supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way. And I think you said you’re gonna test that. And then I see disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute — one minute — and is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning. Because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs, so it’d be interesting to check that. So, that you’re going to have to use medical doctors with, but it sounds interesting to me.”
 
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Brahma

Brahma

Obi-Bro Kenobi-X
12,648
47,201
104moYm.jpg
 
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PreacherX

PreacherX

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
5,467
22,432
If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
 
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Evernothing

Evernothing

Bronze Baronet of the Realm
4,824
9,028
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor's shop with a pair of torn pants.

"Euripides?" says the tailor.

"Yeah, Eumenides?" replies the man.
 
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Quineloe

Quineloe

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
6,978
4,464
Anaheim, California: CNN reported today that Walt Disney's new film called "Jet Black", which is the African-American version of "Snow White" has been canceled. All of the 7 dwarfs: Dealer, Stealer, Mugger, Forger, Drive By, Homeboy, and Shank, have refused to sing "Hi Ho, Hi Ho" because they say it offends Black prostitutes. They also say they have absolutely no intention of singing "It's off to work we go."
 
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T

TJR

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
2,568
30,393
My wife asked me why I was whispering at home I said I was worried that mark zuckerberg listening , she laughed , I laughed , Alexa laughed , Siri laughed , we all laughed.
 
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Quineloe

Quineloe

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
6,978
4,464
My wife asked me to hand her the lipstick. I gave her a glue stick instead. Now she won't talk to me.
 
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loudgas

loudgas

Golden Baronet of the Realm
3,875
19,189
"A new and easy test for the horror of Covid-19 is doing the rounds and it's simple, quick and positive (or negative if you see what I mean.).

Take a glass and pour a decent dram of your favourite whisky into it; then see if you can smell it. If you can, then you are halfway there.

Then drink it. If you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus because the loss of the sense of smell and the sense taste is a common symptom..

I tested myself 7 times last night and was virus free every time, thank goodness.

I will have to test myself again today because I have developed a throbbing headache which can also be one of the symptoms..

I'll report my results later..."
 
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