Evernothing
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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The 80s kid thread
- Thread starter Jait
- Start date
Pagan
Lord Nagafen Raider
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Check mate!! You slow moving POS, killed so many times in Gyromite. When Toyrus had all of the electronics down one isle behind glass there was a huge robot maybe 3-4 feet tall with a ton of buttons and dials. What was that one?Mother fuckin' ARMATRON BITCHES!
Terial
Trakanon Raider
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Hilarious and oh so true!
Anorak | 8 Reasons Children of the 1970s Should All Be Dead
The way things are going, every kid is going to go to school wearing bubble wrap and a helmet. Back in the 1970s (and earlier), parents didn?t stress about our health and safety as much as they do today. It?s not that they cared less ? they just didn?t worry compulsively about it.
Parents of 2014 need to be reminded of how less restricted, less supervised, less obsessively safety-conscious things were? and it was just fine.
1. JARTS: IMPALING ARROWS OF DEATH
Can your mind comprehend a more deadly toy than a weighted spear that kids hurl through the air like a missile? No one ever obeyed the actual manufacturer?s rules, we just flung these damn things everywhere. We threw them. They stuck where they landed. If they happened to land in your skull, well, then you should have moved.
After roughly 6,700 emergency-room visits and the deaths of three children between 1978 and 1988, they finally outlawed Jarts on December 19, 1988. I suppose it needed to be banned, but a part of me is sad that kids today won?t have the battle scars and Jart survival stories we had. Goodbye Jart ? you were an impaling arrow of death, but I loved you anyway.
2. LOST AND NOT FOUND: SEAT BELTS
Cars came with seat belts in the 1970s, but no one used them except maybe out of curiosity to see what it was like to wear one. Of course, you?d have to fish them out of the deep crevice of the backseat cushion where they often came to rest, unwanted and ignored.
The only ?click? heard in the 1970s automobile was your dad?s Bic lighting up a smoke with the windows rolled up. (cough!)
I should also mention that, not only were there no seat belts, child seats were nowhere to be found. Whether it was the front seat of your mom?s station wagon or her bicycle, chances are, you were entirely untethered.
3. SEMI-LETHAL PLAYGROUNDS OF HOT METAL
Remember when playgrounds were fun? Sure, there was a pretty good chance you?d be scalded by a hot metal slide, or walk away with tetanus, but that?s what memories are made of.
The ground wasn?t coated with soft recycled rubber or sand as most are today ? they were asphalt. Remember being hurled from a spinning merry-go-round, then skidding across the gravel at full speed? Good times.
I remember my school playground had a metal ladder ?wall? that I swear went up three stories ? it didn?t connect to a slide or anything. It was literally a ladder to the sky. I remember fully believing the oxygen was thinner at the top. One false move and I?d have been a flesh colored stain on the asphalt.
According to the New York Timeswe are making playgrounds so safe that they actually stunt our kids? development. So, while blood was spilt and concussions were dealt on the playgrounds of the 1970s, we were at least in a developmentally rich environment ? and we had the bruises and scabs to prove it.
4. PRECIOUS LITTLE SUN PROTECTION
?Tanfastic lets the sunshine in. It?s not loaded up with sunburn protection like old folks and kids want. Tanfastic?s for you 15-to-25 year olds who can take the sun. Especially if you want to get superdark. Superfast.?Back in the 70s, your goal was to get as brown as your skin would permit. Sun BLOCK or sun SCREEN was basically nonexistent. You wanted to AMPLIFY your rays, so women typically lathered on Crisco and baby oil to get that deep baked look.
For the kids, SPF numbers hovered around 2, 4 and 8. The idea that you would spray an SPF of 50 or even 30 wasn?t even an option, except perhaps from medical ointments prescribed for albinos.
5. HELMETS: FOR THOSE WITH MEDICAL CONDITIONS ONLY
Whether you were riding a bike, roller skating, or skateboarding, one thing was for certain: you were not wearing a head protection. You would have been looked at as a sideshow freak by other kids, and parents would assume you had some kind of medical condition.
6. IGNORED AND UNATTENDED ON THE REGULAR
Hey, who?s watching the kid in the stroller? YOU MUST HAVE YOUR EYES ON THE KID AT ALL TIMES OR ELSE HE WILL DIE!
My mother routinely left me alone in the car at a young age while she ran errands. Today, this will literally get you arrested. You see, once upon a time it was okay to leave your kids for long periods without supervision (remember the so-called ?latch-key kids? of the 70s?), or let them free roam without constant surveillance. Today, parents won?t let their kids go out to get the mail alone, and any fun with friends has to be scheduled, closely monitored ?play dates?.
On summer break or weekends in the 1970s, parents kicked their kids out the front door and didn?t let them back in until the sun went down. ?Go play,? were their only words, and you were left to your own devices for hours upon hours. Neighborhoods looked like Lord of the Flies.
7. ROUTINELY ALLOWED TO GET SERIOUSLY HURT
This poor kid is about to get rammed in the nuts by a goat, and the nearby adult isn?t the least bit concerned. In fact, he finds this all incredibly amusing! As hard as this is to believe, but when kids got hurt back then, adults didn?t come running with first-aid kits. More than likely you?d be left alone with your pain, with no alternative but to get over it.
In the 70s, parents watched their offspring fall from trees and fall off bikes with a smile.
8. SECONDHAND SMOKE EVERYWHERE
From airplanes to your family car, it seemed the world of the 70s was shrouded in a haze of cigarette smoke. It wasn?t just the fact that many more people smoked, it was the absolute 100% lack of concern for those that didn?t, including children. Teachers smoked, doctors smoked, your parents smoked?. and they didn?t take it to a secluded smoking area, they did it right in your face.
Please don?t interpret this as condoning it. There?s no question that engulfing your child in a thick carcinogenic cloud isn?t a good idea. I?m just stating facts ? this is the world we lived in. It was full of adults who didn?t seem to have anxiety attacks over our safety, and we turned out just fine?.right?
Anorak | 8 Reasons Children of the 1970s Should All Be Dead
The way things are going, every kid is going to go to school wearing bubble wrap and a helmet. Back in the 1970s (and earlier), parents didn?t stress about our health and safety as much as they do today. It?s not that they cared less ? they just didn?t worry compulsively about it.
Parents of 2014 need to be reminded of how less restricted, less supervised, less obsessively safety-conscious things were? and it was just fine.
1. JARTS: IMPALING ARROWS OF DEATH
Can your mind comprehend a more deadly toy than a weighted spear that kids hurl through the air like a missile? No one ever obeyed the actual manufacturer?s rules, we just flung these damn things everywhere. We threw them. They stuck where they landed. If they happened to land in your skull, well, then you should have moved.
After roughly 6,700 emergency-room visits and the deaths of three children between 1978 and 1988, they finally outlawed Jarts on December 19, 1988. I suppose it needed to be banned, but a part of me is sad that kids today won?t have the battle scars and Jart survival stories we had. Goodbye Jart ? you were an impaling arrow of death, but I loved you anyway.
2. LOST AND NOT FOUND: SEAT BELTS
Cars came with seat belts in the 1970s, but no one used them except maybe out of curiosity to see what it was like to wear one. Of course, you?d have to fish them out of the deep crevice of the backseat cushion where they often came to rest, unwanted and ignored.
The only ?click? heard in the 1970s automobile was your dad?s Bic lighting up a smoke with the windows rolled up. (cough!)
I should also mention that, not only were there no seat belts, child seats were nowhere to be found. Whether it was the front seat of your mom?s station wagon or her bicycle, chances are, you were entirely untethered.
3. SEMI-LETHAL PLAYGROUNDS OF HOT METAL
Remember when playgrounds were fun? Sure, there was a pretty good chance you?d be scalded by a hot metal slide, or walk away with tetanus, but that?s what memories are made of.
The ground wasn?t coated with soft recycled rubber or sand as most are today ? they were asphalt. Remember being hurled from a spinning merry-go-round, then skidding across the gravel at full speed? Good times.
I remember my school playground had a metal ladder ?wall? that I swear went up three stories ? it didn?t connect to a slide or anything. It was literally a ladder to the sky. I remember fully believing the oxygen was thinner at the top. One false move and I?d have been a flesh colored stain on the asphalt.
According to the New York Timeswe are making playgrounds so safe that they actually stunt our kids? development. So, while blood was spilt and concussions were dealt on the playgrounds of the 1970s, we were at least in a developmentally rich environment ? and we had the bruises and scabs to prove it.
4. PRECIOUS LITTLE SUN PROTECTION
For the kids, SPF numbers hovered around 2, 4 and 8. The idea that you would spray an SPF of 50 or even 30 wasn?t even an option, except perhaps from medical ointments prescribed for albinos.
5. HELMETS: FOR THOSE WITH MEDICAL CONDITIONS ONLY
Whether you were riding a bike, roller skating, or skateboarding, one thing was for certain: you were not wearing a head protection. You would have been looked at as a sideshow freak by other kids, and parents would assume you had some kind of medical condition.
6. IGNORED AND UNATTENDED ON THE REGULAR
Hey, who?s watching the kid in the stroller? YOU MUST HAVE YOUR EYES ON THE KID AT ALL TIMES OR ELSE HE WILL DIE!
My mother routinely left me alone in the car at a young age while she ran errands. Today, this will literally get you arrested. You see, once upon a time it was okay to leave your kids for long periods without supervision (remember the so-called ?latch-key kids? of the 70s?), or let them free roam without constant surveillance. Today, parents won?t let their kids go out to get the mail alone, and any fun with friends has to be scheduled, closely monitored ?play dates?.
On summer break or weekends in the 1970s, parents kicked their kids out the front door and didn?t let them back in until the sun went down. ?Go play,? were their only words, and you were left to your own devices for hours upon hours. Neighborhoods looked like Lord of the Flies.
7. ROUTINELY ALLOWED TO GET SERIOUSLY HURT
This poor kid is about to get rammed in the nuts by a goat, and the nearby adult isn?t the least bit concerned. In fact, he finds this all incredibly amusing! As hard as this is to believe, but when kids got hurt back then, adults didn?t come running with first-aid kits. More than likely you?d be left alone with your pain, with no alternative but to get over it.
In the 70s, parents watched their offspring fall from trees and fall off bikes with a smile.
8. SECONDHAND SMOKE EVERYWHERE
From airplanes to your family car, it seemed the world of the 70s was shrouded in a haze of cigarette smoke. It wasn?t just the fact that many more people smoked, it was the absolute 100% lack of concern for those that didn?t, including children. Teachers smoked, doctors smoked, your parents smoked?. and they didn?t take it to a secluded smoking area, they did it right in your face.
Please don?t interpret this as condoning it. There?s no question that engulfing your child in a thick carcinogenic cloud isn?t a good idea. I?m just stating facts ? this is the world we lived in. It was full of adults who didn?t seem to have anxiety attacks over our safety, and we turned out just fine?.right?
Tenjikuronin
Avatar of War Slayer
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Tenjikuronin
Avatar of War Slayer
- 7,097
- 15,136
Jait
Molten Core Raider
- 5,035
- 5,317
There used to be some really awesome Happy Meal boxes. Probably will still be decomposing in 900 years.
Aaron
Goonsquad Officer
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- 17,920
Hell yes! I remember when I lived in England during the 80's, I'd roam alone or with friends over a mile or more from my home (and I was 7-9 at the time). Oh, and we lived in an area of the country where some sick fuckers had recently been arrested for kidnapping, torturing and killing children. Fun times!
Gamma Rays
Large sized member
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Now we're in a time where no-one's kids even walk from home to school or back. Everyone drives them there and back home, causing a daily traffic jam.
I always walked, got to school soaking wet more times than I can count ( dry when I left home, caught out by the rain ) but it makes you tough.
I always walked, got to school soaking wet more times than I can count ( dry when I left home, caught out by the rain ) but it makes you tough.
Aaron
Goonsquad Officer
- 8,115
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When i lived in Sweden back when I was 10 or so I had to walk 10 minutes to the underground station, take a 25 minute trip with a changeover on the tube, then walk 15 minutes to get to my school. Visiting friends was often a long walk+train+bus journey too. All done by myself. Taught me to be independent, and not to whine to my parents to take me if I wanted to go somewhere, I just asked permission and then fucking went myself. After my parents split they lived in different countries. Flying alone when you're a child is awesome as you get all the best service and all the hot stewardesses fawn over you. Now I hear about parents actually flying to pick up their kids, flying with them back and repeat. This next generation is going to hell (or it would be if they could get there without their parents help)!
Truth. I went to boarding school in England for 7 years, and for 6 of those years I had to fly out to wherever my parents lived at the time and back for the holidays. After a year of testing it was just me getting dropped off at the local train station, and I'd have to buy my ticket, take a train to the main east-west line, switch to a different train to get to Reading, grab the shuttle bus to the airport, check in, find my gate for the plane, clear customs and immigration, get my luggage, and (for the first 2 years when my parents still lived in Egypt) then grab a taxi from the airport to the house, all unaccompanied. Nowadays, lord knows what happens if you try that.
Technically I was a '70's kid for that, but since he brought it up...
Technically I was a '70's kid for that, but since he brought it up...
Aaron
Goonsquad Officer
- 8,115
- 17,920
Maybe this should go in the Jimmy rustling thread, but remember flying back in the 90's and before? Remember the (lack of) security? And not feeling like you're a fucking criminal for wanting to take a plane? The better food that came free with the ticket? Free soft drinks too? I remember one time taking my desktop PC (sans peripherals) in hand luggage. That fucker was wired up like a Jihadist's nut sack but they just waved me through without batting an eye! Didn't even have to send it through the x-ray machine since that could fry your puter (or at least that was what I was told). Good times! And likely they'll never come back.
Not too long ago I was giving my buddy shit about picking his kids ( 7 & 5) up from school instead of making them walk. Apparently the school won't let them walk. In fact they won't even let the kid leave without a fucking parent. I was with him one time. The teachers bring their class outside and they wait for a parent to walk over and pluck their kids from the class. They aren't even allowed to walk out and find their parent's car or anything and you can imagine the clusterfuck that parking lot is. I'd imagine it's good training if you plan to visit and do some considerable driving in one of those large Asian cities that doesn't give a shit about monitoring traffic flow. It's enough to send a man to get snipped that instant.
I was walking to/from school by myself at the age of five - usually with a 30 minute stop at one of those knee skinning, bone breaking, concussion causing contraptions on the playground and I turned out ok ....I think.
I was walking to/from school by myself at the age of five - usually with a 30 minute stop at one of those knee skinning, bone breaking, concussion causing contraptions on the playground and I turned out ok ....I think.
Terial
Trakanon Raider
- 1,269
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I had to pick up my son from school the other day, usually he has a bus ride... but i had to pick him up.
I had to notify the school (understandable) but then i had to go in and get a hanging mirror tag with my last name on it before i picked him him that day.
then while waiting in line and having the hanging tag on my mirror, there is a teacher standing about in the middle of the line on the sidewalk, with a walkie-talkie.
apparently she radios ahead with your name and they get the kid out and line them up in the order the cars are coming in so you can pick them up with out them ever looking for you or leaving anyone's side.
this is just overkill, but at the same time, it was pretty quick and the line moved damn fast cause there was no oddball parent at the front of the line holding everyone up
I had to notify the school (understandable) but then i had to go in and get a hanging mirror tag with my last name on it before i picked him him that day.
then while waiting in line and having the hanging tag on my mirror, there is a teacher standing about in the middle of the line on the sidewalk, with a walkie-talkie.
apparently she radios ahead with your name and they get the kid out and line them up in the order the cars are coming in so you can pick them up with out them ever looking for you or leaving anyone's side.
this is just overkill, but at the same time, it was pretty quick and the line moved damn fast cause there was no oddball parent at the front of the line holding everyone up
Abefroman
Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
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Blame fucking lawyers for all this shit. Anytime anything goes wrong or bad in life people fucking sue the shit out of someone. Fucking permission slips for field trips are like 3 god damn pages long now. When I was a kid it was simply parents sign their name saying you can go. Now you have to wave all this liability bullshit just so the school doesn't get sued if Timmy stubs his toe.
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I remember people legally smoking in high school. But that shit ended in 87' that was the last year. My freshman year. Still all throughout high school we would sneak out to the parking lot and smoke between classes, and not just cigs either, lol.
Hehe, the best one, I made a small wind tunnel for some science class project in 8th grade. But I didnt have any smoke. So I took a few of my moms cigs and used those as smoke IN THE CLASS. Imagine doing that shit today.
Hehe, the best one, I made a small wind tunnel for some science class project in 8th grade. But I didnt have any smoke. So I took a few of my moms cigs and used those as smoke IN THE CLASS. Imagine doing that shit today.