The Dallas Cowboys Memorial (2015 Off-Season) Thread

Lleauaric_sl said:

Its so stupid. He prefers the football to be slightly underinflated. Does it help him recognize a blitz, make the right read, or place the ball in a tiny window between defenders, or make the right audible? Does anyone here REALLY believe it gave him even one more win than he would have had? Its "cheating" on the level of Odell Beckham wearing a little extra Stickem on his gloves or a defender wearing spikes a cou

Remove all the rules from what a football should be inflated to and Brady is still Brady, Rodgers is still Rodgers, Cutler is still Cutler, Geno Smith is still Geno Smith.

Oh, and have at thee!

Spoiler

It's tough being a New England Patriots fan. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown and all that.

Sure, (arguably) the greatest coach in NFL history sports a Patriots logo on his sleeveless sweatshirt, and (arguably) the best quarterback of all-time dons a Flying Elvis on his helmet, but every other God-fearing football fan across this great nation has yet to bow at the altar of Bob Kraft, Bill Belichick and Tom Brady.

Discussions about football would be a whole lot simpler if everyone could get it through their thick skulls that the game we all knew in a bygone era has since been reinvented by that holy trinity. Instead, you can't log onto Facebook or travel south of Hartford every February without somebody pointing out the Patriots haven't won a Super Bowl since the Spygate scandal revealed them to be cheaters.

Never mind the 16-0 regular season that ensued once they stopped videotaping sideline signals. The Patriots couldn't beat Eli Manning of all QBs without having studied film of the backside of a laminated white sheet of paper covering his offensive coordinator's mouth. Heck, even God himself got involved by gluing a football to David Tyree's helmet just to spite them for their sins, proving once and for all Brady ? despite his three championship rings and supermodel wife ? is in fact not the second coming.

Now, deflate-gate has only reinforced the rest of the country's resolve to hate the Patriots. Sure, a New Englander can explain away deflated footballs and videotaped signals ? as Belichick did ? with science and the idea that cameras only caught on film what 80,000 people could see in plain sight, but all every other un-Patriotic football fan hears is Hank Williams' "Your Cheatin' Heart" drowning out your excuses.

So, if you're from the Northeast corner like I am, know that the best way to crawl under every other football fan's skin is to offer up the only excuse that should be universally accepted in NFL circles by now: Everybody cheats.

As famed 21st-century philosopher Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. has hypothesized, the best defense is a good offense, so here's the New Englander's guide to labeling every other NFL team a cheat. Even if it's baseless. Because if we've learned anything in the past 10 days, you're guilty before proven innocent.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS: They had two Pro Bowl defenders ? LaRon Landry and Robert Mathis ? suspended for PED use and still couldn't stop Jonas Gray or LeGarrette Blount. Not to mention they allegedly pumped crowd noise into the RCA Dome to beat the Pats in the 2006 AFC Championship.

BALTIMORE RAVENS: Ah, the easiest fans of all to take up residence within their bird brains. Three simple words: Deer-antler spray. And if those don't work, remember five-time All-Pro defensive lineman Haloti Ngata got busted for performance-enhancing drugs just last month. Or mention that ? while the Ravens rightfully cut Ray Rice ? somehow their other All-Pro defensive stud, Terrell Suggs, remains on the roster despite a pair of equally disturbing domestic violence allegations against him. See, you don't even need to bring up the double-murder indictment of Ray Lewis to incite a Baltimore riot. Oh, wait.

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: The Seahawks lead the league in performance-enhancing drug use since Pete Carroll's arrival in 2010, and that doesn't even include the overturning of Richard Sherman's positive test before the first of three straight playoff appearances. Talk about deflated balls in the Super Bowl.

NEW YORK GIANTS: Former coach Jim Fassel may have explained away radio signal stealing allegations in 2001 by feigning ignorance, calling such high-tech cheating "impossible to even try," but the Giants already admitted to intercepting radio waves ? in 1956. It's not like technology has progressed in the past half-century or anything. No wonder they beat the Pats in 2007 and 2011.

ATLANTA FALCONS: Speaking of listening in on conversations, assistant general manager Scott Pioli is a notorious offender, having allegedly bugged former Chiefs coach Todd Haley's phones during his GM tenure in Kansas City. (Please pay no attention Pioli's presence in New England during Spygate.)

NEW YORK JETS: The only reason New York ratted on the Patriots for videotaping signals in 2007 is because New England threw a Jets employee out of Gillette Stadium for doing the same a year earlier. Of course, then-Jets coach Eric Mangini dubbed their misdeeds as "standard operating procedure." Not to be outdone, former New York strength and conditioning coach Sal Alosi resorted to tripping a dude.

PITTSBURGH STEELERS: Current coach Mike Tomlin warranted a $100,000 fine when he interfered with a Jacoby Jones kickoff return in 2013, but it's best to hit Pittsburgh where it hurts most ? puncturing a hole through the heart of the Steel Curtain. In making his own steroid admission as a player, former Steelers defensive coordinator Jim Haslett called all four of their Super Bowls in the 1970s into question.

MIAMI DOLPHINS: A pair of Fins got caught violating the NFL's performance-enhancing drug policy, but that perfect 1972 season is the only thing the Miami faithful can hold over New Englanders' heads (well, that and the fact Floridians aren't covered in two feet of snow right now), so let's point out the Dolphins committed three counts of tampering in order to hire Don Shula as their coach.

BUFFALO BILLS: The Bills have been all about those banned substances for the past five decades, beginning with Haslett's admission to steroid use during his Buffalo career from 1979-85. When the NFL cracked down on steroids in the late 1980s, the Bills had more players suspended than any other team. Soon afterwards, Don Smith allegedly tested positive for steroid use before Super Bowl XXV, and then proceeded to score a touchdown in the first of four straight title losses. Before making a Pro Bowl, running back Travis Henry violated the league's substance policy, citing ephedra, as was the custom at the time. And more recently tight end Shawn Nelson earned his own four-game suspension. Whatever's in the sauce on those wings up there in Buffalo, maybe the Bills should be using more of it, because they haven't made the playoffs since New Englanders threw them a bone with Doug Flutie in 1999.

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS: Bountygate.

DETROIT LIONS: Center Dominic Raiola and defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh have both been fined multiple times for attempting to intentionally injure their opponents after the whistle, which is kinda like Bountygate, only without the monetary incentive ? which kinda makes it even worse.

DALLAS COWBOYS: Take your pick between the Cowboys' salary cap violations, Orlando Scandrick's PED suspension or Jerry Jones partying with NFL head of officiating Dean Blandino and a bunch of coeds in a bus outside Bootsy Bellows nightclub in Los Angeles. The third option seems the most fun.

WASHINGTON REDSKINS: Likewise, it's a toss-up between salary cap violations, widespread PED use, signing Andre' Woodson off the scrap heap to recreate the Giants' playbook and illegally calling out the Cowboys' snap count. It's really not that hard to rile up a fan base whose team's owner sued season-ticket holders during a recession and vehemently defends the use of a racially insensitive nickname.

CHICAGO BEARS: Forget former linebacker Brian Urlacher's concession that the Bears assigned "a designated dive guy" to fake injuries when opposing offenses got hot, current wideout Brandon Marshall suggested players use Viagra to gain an edge, which creates all sorts of problems in those pig piles.

CLEVELAND BROWNS: The Browns are currently being investigated for texting during games ? a violation of NFL policy ? suggesting these weren't just messages from Johnny Football's ladyfriends.

DENVER BRONCOS: Where do we begin? ESPN's Mark Schlereth and a couple Bronco buddies got popped for oiling themselves up in Vaseline before a playoff game, which seems minor in comparison to the team's pair of violations of the league's salary cap restrictions, including $29 million in deferred payments to John Elway and Terrell Davis ? the two cogs in Denver's Super Bowl victories. (It's probably best not to mention Josh McDaniels earned a $50,000 fine for videotaping a 49ers practice.)

HOUSTON TEXANS: Three-time Pro Bowl offensive lineman Duane Brown got busted for PEDs before this season, but teammate Brian Cushing takes the cake. Following a season in which he won Defensive Rookie of the Year from the Associated Press in 2010, Cushing tested positive for a fertility drug (perhaps to counteract his opponents' Viagra consumption?). So, the AP took a revote, and he still won the award. It's always nice to see the media taking the moral high ground when it comes to football scandals.

TENNESSEE TITANS: The last time the Titans were any good, they had fullback Ahmard Hall paving the way for 1,000-yard rushers Travis Henry (yes, that Travis Henry), LenDale White and Chris Johnson from 2006-11. And Hall earned a performance-enhancing drug suspension at the end of that run.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS: Linebacker LaRoy Reynolds sat out four games for a PED suspension in 2013, but there's no use trying to incite a fan base that requires swimming pools, go-go dancers and two-for-one drink specials just to get enough fans in the front door to avoid television blackouts.

ARIZONA CARDINALS: GM Steve Keim can call Daryl Washington's indiscretions "unacceptable" all he wants, but when a team continues to employ an admitted domestic abuser and two-time violator of the league's substance abuse policy ? including one positive PED test ? simply because he has an All-Pro bid on his resume, it kind of gives off the impression that those actions are in fact acceptable.

CINCINNATI BENGALS: It's kind of boring when all the Bengals have done to cheat is use a few performance-enhancing drugs, as cornerback Chris Lewis-Harris was busted for earlier this season. Apparently, they prefer to do their misdeeds off the field, leading the league in legal battles last decade.

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS: Ho hum. Just a run-of-the-mill PED ban for offensive tackle Donald Stephenson.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: Two more PED suspensions this season. Boring.

OAKLAND RAIDERS: After Al Davis spent years suggesting Mike Shanahan's Broncos should have an asterisk next to their Super Bowl victories for violating the salary cap, his own organization was among four teams punished by the league for similar infractions a few years ago. Also, they're the Raiders.

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS: The Bucs aren't opposed to PED use, either, having received a pair of suspensions this past season, but don't forget Brad Johnson paid an NFL representative $7,500 to rub down his footballs prior to their Super Bowl XXXVII victory ? the lone title in the team's 40-year existence.

GREEN BAY PACKERS: The Packers cheated so bad they had to buy their way back into the league, per Albert J. Figone's 2012 book, "Cheating the Spread": "The American Professional Football Association, organized in 1919, soon became embroiled in recruiting collegiate players. The Green Bay Packers had their franchise revoked in 1921 because they recruited three Notre Dame Players ? Hunk Anderson, Ojay Larson, and Hee Garvey ? for their final game of the season at Milwaukee. The story was broken by the Chicago Tribune, home of the Packers' archrival Staleys (later the Bears), coached by George Halas. The Green Bay franchise was reinstated in 1922 after Curly Lambeau paid a fee." Nowadays, Aaron Rodgers' over-inflation of balls keeps the proud cheating tradition established by Hunk, Ojay and Hee alive.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS: As long as we're still on the subject of footballs, the Vikings like theirs warm, which also violates league policy. Oh, and Hall of Famer Cris Carter spearheaded his own Bountygate scandal.

CAROLINA PANTHERS: They heated their balls on the sidelines, too, but that's not quite as egregious as a trio of Carolina players filling prescriptions for steroids shortly before losing to the Patriots in Super Bowl XXXVIII ? making former Panthers GM Marty Hurney's recent sour grapes all the more hilarious.

ST. LOUIS RAMS: Former running back turned NFL Network pundit Marshall Faulk can cry foul about the Patriots cheating him out of a second Super Bowl ring all he wants. He probably just accused New England of cheating again in the time I wrote that last sentence. But the Rams aren't innocent, either, fielding performance-enhancing drug abusers every season since the NFL ramped up its testing policy in 2011.

SAN DIEGO CHARGERS: LaDainian Tomlinson once said, "I think the Patriots actually live by the saying 'If you're not cheating, you're not trying,'" so it stands to reason his team didn't trying until he retired in 2012, since that's when the Chargers received a $20,000 fine for using a "Stickum"-like substance.

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS: In the late 1990s, the Niners were finally busted for a practice they had been accused of and denied during their dynastic run from 1981-94 ? skirting the salary cap, including a violation involving Super Bowl XXIX MVP Steve Young. If that doesn't get a San Fran fan going, just let Bill Parcells do the finger-pointing for you, since he claims the 49ers twice disabled the Giants' phone communications in the mid-'80s. And Bill Belichick's defense still managed to win both games.

Level playing field people.

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moontayle_sl said:

Yes, the old "everyone cheats" defense. That'll get you far.

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Sutekh_sl said:

Where would you rank it in to relation of say, only allowing a plow on the field when the home team is kicking field goals. Or taping the opposing teams practice to study it?

Scumbag organization.

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Skinner_sl said:

This might come as a surprise to you, but if you're referencing the Snowplow Game against the Dolphins, you should know that not only is what the Pats did legal at that time, but it was approved by the head referee on the field and the same advantage (the snow plow) was offered to the Dolphins when it was their turn to attempt a field goal. Shula declined using it, missed the FG, then cried to the NFL after the game despite being offered the same exact plow and declining said plow when it was his turn to kick.

I honestly have no idea what you're talking about with regards to taping practices. What organization taped practices and when?

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The following year, the NFL banned the use of snowplows on the field during a game.

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Sutekh_sl said:

Sorry champ, Patriots cheated straight up. Just because Don Shula has integrity and refused the opportunity to cheat as well doesn't mean the Patriots cheated any less.



Since you're probably new to this whole football thing here's a link;2007 New England Patriots videotaping controversy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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Skinner_sl said:

I still can't tell if this is your schtick or just retarded.

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Elurin_sl said:

I said it when this happened back in January, but you people are ridiculous. Do you really give a shit about this, or is this just hardcore trolling of Azeth? Or worse, do you have some deep down hatred of Brady and are latching onto even the smallest possible reason to further that?

Everyone in the NFL is looking for any advantage they can get away with. If it's steroids? Great, you went with the obvious one. Manipulating your jersey and other equipment? Why not!

All you're really doing here is shitting up this thread something fierce. I've stopped even reading the posts about this because they're all rehashing the same bullshit. You'd think a week after the draft there'd be something better to discuss, but no, we get this retarded shit about the Patriots again.

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Convo_sl said:

Still skeptical? Let me direct your attention to a Jan. 27 report by Warren Sharp, who found that from 2000 to 2006, the Patriots fumbled once every 42 touches, somewhere in the middle of the pack of NFL teams who play in non-dome stadiums.

However, since 2007, the Patriots' fumble rate has dropped to one in every 74 touches. The next best cold-weather team had a fumble every 56 touches, and the average was in the low to mid-40s. Sharp's research also showed that players who came to the Patriots from other teams after 2007 saw their fumble rate decline dramatically.

After 2006 season is when Brady and manning lobbied the nfl to allow both teams to use their own balls.

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Famm_sl said:

Blame the ESPN style reporting "news" cycle. Draft picks and teams' systems are boring. They need some good gossipy tabloid shit to fill the hours and ratings books and the fans just run with whatever they're selling.

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Ambiturner_sl said:

Link/citation?

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Convo_sl said:

Sharp Football Analysis

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Skinner_sl said:

Okay, so the Patriots cheated by using the Snow Plow offered by the head Ref despite there being no rule against it at the time and despite it being offered to the Dolphins as well. Gotcha.

And your answer to who tapped practices was to link to wikipedia where it says the Patriots were accused of taping practices but never did and the tabloid that ran the story issued an apology saying they were wrong and the guy who made the claim admitting there was never any tape.

I still can't tell if this is your schtick or just retarded.

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In the press conference, Specter also noted that Walsh, while taping signals during a game against the Jets, stood next to a Jets videographer who, to Walsh, also appeared to be taping signals.[68] Walsh later elaborated, saying the Jets cameraman was angling his camera towards the Patriots sidelines, and that Walsh did not question him about his activity because Walsh knew he himself was doing the same thing.[56] Walsh later advised then-defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel to change the team's signals in light of the event.[56]

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Famm_sl said:

Blame the ESPN style reporting "news" cycle. Draft picks and teams' systems are boring. They need some good gossipy tabloid shit to fill the hours and ratings books and the fans just run with whatever they're selling.

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