The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread
- Thread starter Wintermute
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When I read Eomer's post I kinda thought "oh shit" because it's not one that needs advice at all, yet it's like a reflex for everyone to jump in with their idea of the universal-correct thing to do. Things are going well, and the pay/not pay discussion is as it should be. It should be sort of a politeness battle. I hate when someone comes with a story and people automatically start listing 20 things the person should do..especially because they're just bad. Save the (bad) advice for people that need it.
I hear the L word is a big hurdle in the relationship power struggle so never say it until the other person says it first. You need about 24-36 months at least, otherwise your bed mate is a nutjob who probably shits the sheets.
Srathor
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Eomer, If she is staying at your place a majority of nights you can use that as a rough gauge of where you stand. 1 night a week, pay for some dates. 2 nights a week pay for more than she does date wise. 3 nights a week, yall are getting there. 4 nights a week time to think about how you really feel. Practically living with you, and only goes home for fights/2 week laundry runs. Then money will start getting co-mingled. Sounds like you got a good one though, good luck!
Downplaying the significance of your partner's chosen field when you clearly have no idea what it entails....I bet she loves that
Majoring in Psych is a joke bro, may as well double up in Creative Writing or Lit while you're at it.
Ronaan
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I'm not telling him to drop on one knee and hand over 120k worth of jewelry bro, just asking him to find out where it may lead.
As for me being nuts, I believe we established that circa 2009.
Well that paints a different picture than the impression I got from the post I quoted. Nevermind then, yea, if you're not at least a billion percent sure about going into clinical psych, it's definitely a bad idea to try.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the sink
Why don't women need watches? Because they can just look on the Microwave.
Why did the women cross the road? That's not the point what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen.
Why don't women need watches? Because they can just look on the Microwave.
Why did the women cross the road? That's not the point what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen.
Eomer
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Yeah I would have expected it to come out by now as well. Everything leads me to believe though that she feels that way but for whatever reason doesn't want to come out and say it, not sure why. Maybe she's worried about scaring me off or something? From my perspective at the outset I decided I'd not be the one to say it first, and I'm sticking to my guns!Dabamf_sl said:
I don't think she's actively stopping the relationship from going further, that I can tell. It's just been very, very natural to this point with hardly any "deep" conversations about what we're doing or where things are going. She's never really talked about what she wants long term (marriage? kids?) to any great extent, other than indicating she finds the idea of having kids at this point in her life ridiculous. And she's never asked me about what I'm after (which would be "undetermined").
Yeah, I think a lot of that is going to come out in a couple months when we hike the West Coast Trail. 5-7 days in the wilderness with just the two of us, I would imagine some of those conversations will be had if they haven't happened before then. I'm not going to force the issue before then, I don't think.Ronaan_sl said:
Yeah, that's kind of what's happening now with food/entertainment. I'll pick up the big bills at restaurants and bars, she'll grab smaller ones at coffee shops or when buying groceries to make dinner.Wrathcaster_sl said:
She's staying at my place 2-4 nights a week at this point, I stay at hers maybe once a week. She lives 10 blocks away so she hasn't really started accumulating much stuff at my place, since she's 3 minutes from home anyways and generally doesn't have to start her day (shower, change etc) first thing in the morning. I'm also mildly OCD and while I don't mind if she leaves stuff around, I notice shit as subtle as her trading a non-ripe banana she brought over for a ripe one on my counter and commented on it, so she probably is a bit nervous about making me feel like she's intruding on my perfectly arranged life.Srathor_sl said:
Yeah, I own my condo with zero mortgage and have no intention of moving short of having kids and deciding it was time for a house. So if we were to decide to move in together at some point, there'd be no rent for her to pay. What I'd probably suggest to her if the situation arises is that I'm cool with paying condo fees/property taxes (about a grand a month) and she doesn't need to pay me rent, so long as she takes care of the cost of groceries. I'd be bearing a majority of the cost of living, but she'd be doing her part.Celestein_sl said:
Yeah, other than spending on recreational activities and travel (which she also enjoys) I don't really have expensive tastes, so it wouldn't be too difficult to make things work financially I don't think.Celestein_sl said:
Yeah, I don't really pretend to know too much about her field or what she wants to do with it. I think she'd probably be better off getting a masters in something else, but that's a decision she has to make for herself. She was looking at some sort of health policy research program last time we talked about it, so it does seem she's getting a bit away from the psychology stuff, but she was also doing a little dance that a position in autism research just came available that she had been wanting to apply for, so I dunno. The only concern for me is that her schooling and career after schooling would be out of town.Celestein_sl said:
Izo
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I would say go with what Dabamf says in this case Eomer and just understand that the best advice in this situation is probably no advice since it sounds like you are dealing with things in the proper way. She sounds like a good woman and probably has very different ideas about where she was going to be, from a financial standpoint, as opposed to your career from the time when your relationship got going. The idea that you have a good paying job and she was working towards one was probably a big factor in allaying the financial differences between your career paths and date night/serious relationship expectations while getting to know her. The reality of that is probably becoming, to her, that the door is swinging ever wider between your financial worth and her prospective worth now that she has been rejected from her preferred grad school. He is also right; financial disparity is a huge potential issue with relationships, especially now where most (there are still many situation that work incredibly well to the contrary) good women want to see their careers grow parallel to ours until things are stable enough where the old school picket fence and family thing can happen without any monetary worries. Speed bump man. Just know that she is concerned about that aspect, which you already know that she is, and keep playing it by ear.
Help make the thread better and tell us what kind of freaky shit she's doing now. And it sounds like you have a pretty good girl Eomer, I think your question will pretty much take care of itself with time.
Nothing terribly exciting... Blowjobs, sending me nudes, let me take her to a sex store and buy her a dildo...Wearing lingerie to bed.
Nothing really "freaky" but she was pretty damned boring/bad sexually the first month I dated her... didn't want to do anything but missionary (she still doesn't like doggy)and mostly just laid there, didn't want me to go down on her either and would stop responding all-together after she'd cum, which usually would occur within the first 10 minutes... and even when she would start to get into it, her rhythm would be off, instead of grinding against me, she'd be moving her body "with" me destroying any in/out movement... or just moving at a completely unrelated pace all-together which would be distracting.
I'd still describe her as a selfish lover, if I get her off first, I pretty much have to finish myself off...
I think the tacit implication that the more you pay and sooner, the greater the level of desperation.
Brad2770
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So, I have a date set for tomorrow evening with the Korean lady. She pretty much told me she is free all day, but I have to work. I will be contacting her around 4pm to work out the details, but we are going to this really nice Korean BBQ place in N. Dallas and then to a Casino. I like to gamble and she does too, so why not? Let's hope it goes well.
Oh, and the buddy that got the redhead's number said the redhead is 23 with 3 kids and 2 baby daddy. haha
Oh, and the buddy that got the redhead's number said the redhead is 23 with 3 kids and 2 baby daddy. haha
???
Is that like she won't let you put in in her after you get her off with mouth or hand or is it she'll kick you out if she O's while you are inside her. The former is pretty damn strange albeit easily remedied but the latter makes no sense whatsoever.