Ahhhhh, this thread. Single handedly convinced me to design a contraption whereby my keyboard is disabled once my blood alcohol level reaches flammable status.
The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread
- Thread starter Wintermute
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Louis
Trakanon Raider
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Aaron
Goonsquad Officer
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There is something about the casual way in which you say that that made me lol.
So, now you're hooker GF is clean, is she still going to turn tricks, or what is she going to do? Work at Walmart? Or are you going to finally hire her as a live in nanny for your kids?
Void
BAU BAU
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That's not what I was talking about. He knew the Korean chick was into him, so automatically he lost a bit of interest in her. The redhead wasn't obviously into him (not saying she was or wasn't, just that no one straight up told him she was like with the Korean), so he started turning negatives into positives (her teeth). Right there we have a perfect example of what I'm talking about. At first glance he was more interested in the Korean girl. But once he learned she was "easy pickings" and the redhead wasn't, things balanced out a lot more, whereas before he probably would have devoted a lot more effort to the Korean girl.
I may not be explaining this well, but I'm not saying he actually wants to chase them. He just found out that the Korean girl was a slam dunk for the most part, and it took any thrill out of it, artificially inflating the redheads attractiveness because she wasn't a slam dunk. I'm not telling him to keep chasing the redhead just because some theory says to; fuck, I told him to go for the Korean for chrissakes, the slam dunk, the easy score, because the redhead isn't necessarily any better, she's just an unknown. Which makes her seem a bit more attractive.
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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Yeah, you're making 0 sense. You're essentially saying that he's getting excited over the redhead not showing interest, that her saying "Nah, not interested!", is a turn-on. That shit is for chicks, man.
No, that's for everyone. Desperate is a turn off, hard to attain is attractive, this isn't rocket science.
Brad2770
Avatar of War Slayer
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Well, the Korean sent me a text this morning saying she would not be able to make lunch, but she would like to do something next Thurs. Nothing back from the redhead.
And you guys are right, if I didnt know the Korean wanted me, I would be going after her and not worrying about the redhead. After a couple of more days chance to think about things, I do like the Korean more. She is really good about responding to texts and keeping me in the loop. That is already a lot better than some of the others I have dated. We will see how it goes next Thurs.
And you guys are right, if I didnt know the Korean wanted me, I would be going after her and not worrying about the redhead. After a couple of more days chance to think about things, I do like the Korean more. She is really good about responding to texts and keeping me in the loop. That is already a lot better than some of the others I have dated. We will see how it goes next Thurs.
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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I guess I'm weird then. Chicks who play the "hard to get" card can fuck off. It's easy for them, because they are sex sellers and dick is literally being offered to them on a constant basis, but I don't have time/energy to pursue a woman who wants to pretend like she's the greatest thing on Earth. It has nothing to do with "hard to obtain". Hard to obtain in the sense that there are 500 other guys offering it up, so she's allowed to be choosy. It's artificial value. It has nothing to do with her necessarily being a "good catch", "great in the sack", or anything else. The game of trying to gauge interest or having to "pursue" is so juvenile to me. Be upfront about your feelings or I'll move the hell on.
Izo
Tranny Chaser
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Weren't you just fired? All the time in the world to chase the hard to get women. Bonus: they may be harder still with no job. Win-win
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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Already have one. I was speaking on past experiences.Weren't you just fired? All the time in the world to chase the hard to get women. Bonus: they may be harder still with no job. Win-win
Drinsic
privileged excrementlord
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Izo
Tranny Chaser
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I'm not sure one excludes the other in this thread at least. Writing in present tense suggests ambiguity. Ask Johnny49 for subhuman ways to get back at life if it gives you lemons
Kirun, you may get turned off from girls playing hard to get, but if you think you're immune from the universal human tendency to be more intrigued by that which is not yet obtained vs that which is already gotten, you're fooling yourself.
Also, Johnny is quite hilarious lately.
Also, Johnny is quite hilarious lately.
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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Oh, no doubt. I'm just saying, the women who play "hard to get" or want to be "chased" by showing no/little interest on the surface? Waste of time.
ohkcrlho
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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It works on lots of guys though. That kinda shit is definitely more effective on women, but I've known plenty of guys who love the chase more than anything. There is a contradiction in how I think about and deal with women for that reason. I tend to play at least some games because it's effective, yet kind of shun girls who do the same. Well they may be operatig under the same principal as I am, and I may also be turning off the girl(s) I want who also hate games.
As I get older however I've started to shed the "a SMART/RIGHT girl will not succomb to all the 'dumb human' tendencies and we'll be two special flowers the rules don't apply to" mentality. We all like to think we're unique, but we're not. Consciously I hate when girls play games, but most likely it's only when I notice it, and the other times I bet it's effective on me.
As I get older however I've started to shed the "a SMART/RIGHT girl will not succomb to all the 'dumb human' tendencies and we'll be two special flowers the rules don't apply to" mentality. We all like to think we're unique, but we're not. Consciously I hate when girls play games, but most likely it's only when I notice it, and the other times I bet it's effective on me.
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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Gents, this thread has been awfully quiet the past while, I'm sure due in no small part to my absence. While I am not making a triumphant return to singledom, I am looking for a bit of advice with the lady friend. Everything's pretty awesome with this girl overall. She's hot, smart, completely sane, and seems to think I'm pretty great as well. She even seems to genuinely laugh at my awful jokes, and actually gets that I'm being sarcastic most of the time (a lot of girls don't know how to take me and get offended). I can honestly say that in the 7 months we've been dating we have not had a single fight, and barely even had a disagreement. No passive aggressive, "everything's fine" when it's not fine bullshit. It's really quite refreshing to be in a relationship that honestly requires almost no effort on either of our parts to make work.
What I'm looking for advice on is on financial issues. I do okay for myself and don't really sweat the small stuff in terms of going out to eat, buying clothes or recreational equipment, and so on. She on the other hand is between careers at the moment, with a BA in psychology, intending on going back to get a master's of some sort in a year. When I first met her she was waitressing full time and doing a bit of research work at the University. Both of us were getting a bit sick of not seeing each other much, so after she got word that she didn't get in to the master's program she'd wanted to she started applying for jobs in her field, but with only a BA it's been tough for her to get much. Right now she's taking on shifts as an aide for kids with autism. As far as I understand it, she goes to people's houses and works on various skills and exercises with the kids. But she's only doing that 10-15 hours a week, it hardly pays ($15-17 an hour I think?), and it prevents her from working at her restaurant most week nights. So she's only working 15-20 hours a week at restaurant, mostly Fri-Sun. On top of that we're trying to get out on the weekends to do a lot of camping and hiking etc in preparation for hiking the West Coast Trail in August (that will be the true test of the relationship!). She probably makes the majority of her money Fri-Sun, so that's hurting her too.
So while I've never really discussed money with her, I'm pretty sure she's near flat broke. She's got student loans, not sure if she has CC debt. Owns a beat up car, but it seems reliable and decent on gas. Her parents have done okay, but are small town middle class types, so I'm not sure if she gets any help from them. When we go out for eats or whatever I pay as often as she'll let me. Initially she insisted on paying probably near half the time. More recently she's being less insistent on paying, which is fine by me, because she can't afford to. I've told her so long as she picks up some groceries and cooks a good meal once or twice a week, I consider us even if we go out for dinner or brunch a couple times a week, and she seems happy with that because she likes cooking.
So at what point does a money conversation happen? I mean, she's not going to accept me giving her money to pay off CC debt or something if she a lot of it. But even just a conversation that "hey, I want to do stuff like go out to eat or go away for a couple days, and I don't mind paying your way" without offending her? The couple times I've paid for shit for her (a $200 camping sleeping mat that weighs nothing yet is incredibly warm, and a flight to Seattle for some psychology conference) she's actively resisted me doing so. So do we just keep doing what we're doing? Or at some point do we need to talk about it? I honestly don't think she has the slightest idea on how much or little money I have/make; she really doesn't give a shit about that kind of thing insofar as you need some of it to do things. When I mentioned how many cars my brother keeps at our office (5, at last count), she was outright disgusted by it for example.
tldr: me rich, girl poor but not a gold digger in the slightest, at what point do we talk about me helping her out a bit?
What I'm looking for advice on is on financial issues. I do okay for myself and don't really sweat the small stuff in terms of going out to eat, buying clothes or recreational equipment, and so on. She on the other hand is between careers at the moment, with a BA in psychology, intending on going back to get a master's of some sort in a year. When I first met her she was waitressing full time and doing a bit of research work at the University. Both of us were getting a bit sick of not seeing each other much, so after she got word that she didn't get in to the master's program she'd wanted to she started applying for jobs in her field, but with only a BA it's been tough for her to get much. Right now she's taking on shifts as an aide for kids with autism. As far as I understand it, she goes to people's houses and works on various skills and exercises with the kids. But she's only doing that 10-15 hours a week, it hardly pays ($15-17 an hour I think?), and it prevents her from working at her restaurant most week nights. So she's only working 15-20 hours a week at restaurant, mostly Fri-Sun. On top of that we're trying to get out on the weekends to do a lot of camping and hiking etc in preparation for hiking the West Coast Trail in August (that will be the true test of the relationship!). She probably makes the majority of her money Fri-Sun, so that's hurting her too.
So while I've never really discussed money with her, I'm pretty sure she's near flat broke. She's got student loans, not sure if she has CC debt. Owns a beat up car, but it seems reliable and decent on gas. Her parents have done okay, but are small town middle class types, so I'm not sure if she gets any help from them. When we go out for eats or whatever I pay as often as she'll let me. Initially she insisted on paying probably near half the time. More recently she's being less insistent on paying, which is fine by me, because she can't afford to. I've told her so long as she picks up some groceries and cooks a good meal once or twice a week, I consider us even if we go out for dinner or brunch a couple times a week, and she seems happy with that because she likes cooking.
So at what point does a money conversation happen? I mean, she's not going to accept me giving her money to pay off CC debt or something if she a lot of it. But even just a conversation that "hey, I want to do stuff like go out to eat or go away for a couple days, and I don't mind paying your way" without offending her? The couple times I've paid for shit for her (a $200 camping sleeping mat that weighs nothing yet is incredibly warm, and a flight to Seattle for some psychology conference) she's actively resisted me doing so. So do we just keep doing what we're doing? Or at some point do we need to talk about it? I honestly don't think she has the slightest idea on how much or little money I have/make; she really doesn't give a shit about that kind of thing insofar as you need some of it to do things. When I mentioned how many cars my brother keeps at our office (5, at last count), she was outright disgusted by it for example.
tldr: me rich, girl poor but not a gold digger in the slightest, at what point do we talk about me helping her out a bit?