Hatorade
A nice asshole.
- 8,556
- 7,377
The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread
- Thread starter Wintermute
- Start date
-
Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
ohkcrlho
Silver Baronet of the Realm
- 6,906
- 8,943
Oh is he ever right. I know this from firsthand experience with a pyscho asian girl. /shudder no thank you. Anyways, back in the dating scene in Seattle. Just broke up with my GF almost 2 months ago, we ended it quite amicably, and by that I mean, I wasn't into her and shes a sobbing mess, but hey she says she wasn't feeling me either but is worried about finding a husband to have kids with, and not to be a dick but I am glad to be out of that relationship. Way to pushy and needy for my tastes.
Had some great sex w a real cute chick the other day. I'm back baby.
Might be something to this one also. Ill continue to be obnoxiously vague in the future
Might be something to this one also. Ill continue to be obnoxiously vague in the future
Sutekh
Blackwing Lair Raider
- 7,489
- 107
That entirely depends on how well you trust your spouse.
If you answered, not enough to let them be friends with whomever they want, then you should probably talk about that with them.
edit: It's better for her to get angry at you for being jealous than for you to sit there quietly wondering if she's giving you the ole Anima's wife.
If you answered, not enough to let them be friends with whomever they want, then you should probably talk about that with them.
edit: It's better for her to get angry at you for being jealous than for you to sit there quietly wondering if she's giving you the ole Anima's wife.
It depends on trust and how long ago the relationship was.
Talks to him everyday or hanging out with him alone I'd be uncomfortable with it. Just have to talk about it.
If she's hiding anything (texts/lunch dates) I'd quit.
Talks to him everyday or hanging out with him alone I'd be uncomfortable with it. Just have to talk about it.
If she's hiding anything (texts/lunch dates) I'd quit.
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
- 46,900
- 100,291
Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
- 11,041
- 794
Those are three pretty different things!
Start being friends with your ex and talk about it all the time. See what she does.
Really its pretty situational, if you have to ask I have a feeling you're suspicious already. Jealous is normal but if they are reallyfriendsand not just still in contact via text then its danger zone and disrespectful to you IMO. Also, you aren't saying if this is ex B/F fling husband long or short term, how long ago, what their relationship is like or any detail. If its her ex husband and they have a kid, that's obviously a very different deal then broke up three months ago and it was just because he thought he was moving away and now he stayed or something.
Derpa
Trakanon Raider
- 2,011
- 665
They have talked a few times on FB and recently some texting, she told me about the times on facebook and brought up texting with him to me and asked if I had any issues. I told her I was unsure (really am, because my last ex cheated on me and I found out from her texts but she didn't cheat on me with any of her exes). She said if I had an issue she would cut contact, I asked if she would have an issue if I talked to my ex, which she said she wouldn't have a problem but if I started hanging out with her at all she would. Also said she was surprised by how supportive he is of our relationship (me and my girl).
They dated for a year over 3 years ago, he dumped her for another girl.....but later said he would leave her to get back with her in a couple months so she waited around those couple months and then said fuck it because she was done beinging strung around. She thought at the time they dated she would end up marrying him. He ended up having a kid with the girl he said he was going to dump and apparently they split now a month or two ago. We have been dating now for almost 2 years and are presently engaged.
Sorry if is kinda incoherent typing this right before I head to bed.
- 3,501
- 3,222
Sounds like he's sniffing around for an easy rebound. She seems to have been fairly open about what she's doing. In your position, I would tell her the truth - it bothers you. Let her make the decision not to talk to him anymore.
Seananigans
Honorary Shit-PhD
- 13,920
- 34,895
Kithani
Blackwing Lair Raider
- 1,290
- 1,659
It would definitely bother me that my fianc? wasn't perceptive enough to recognize he's sniffing for rebound or does realize it and likes the attention, I'd talk to her about it and see what she says. On the other hand, my girlfriend has occasionally communicated with one of her exes (over fb) and it doesn't bother me, probably because she dated him in high school and I don't really see him as a threat.
Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
- 11,041
- 794
There's no "or" about it, she knows damn well and is letting it happen, probably encouraging it. Telling you is plausible deniability and she's setting you up to either be an asshole by putting your foot down or to be a bitch by letting her continue.
She's already made up her mind she would go bang this guy, just waiting for the right reason. As soon as you tell her to cut it out, she will go tell his ass that you said they can't talk anymore and then he will really step it up trying to shame you and question why they can't be "friends" when there is nothing going on. This will lead to his shot to move on her and hang out in person more. On the flip side if you give an inch, he will push for a mile and be actively trying to sabotage you every chance he gets.
You should break off the engagement and start looking for a new place to live. Dead serious. Better to deal with it now than in seven years when you are married and have kids and a house and this same shit happens in a different way.
So the relationship I've been in the past 3 years is finally over, officially. Ended incredibly amicably and we are remaining friends. I'm getting my own place in the next month, and just going to enjoy the fuck out of being single again. Hung out with a hottie last night and very nearly got laid, but I pulled away and said I wasn't going to do anything until I get my own place. It feels good to finally be in a place where I'm happy with myself and ready to go out and meet new people and have new experiences that aren't all tied up in the awful mess I was 3.5 years ago.
This is the new chick I saw last night
opiate82
Bronze Squire
- 3,078
- 5
I've seen both sides of the "remaining friends" with an ex thing. When I broke up with my last LTR and got together with the girl who would end up being my wife, I was trying to stay friends with the ex. My now-wife didn't have an issue with it on my end, but warned me it wouldn't work out. Sure enough it turned out my ex wanted to get back together with me. Long-story-short I ended up having to cut all contact with her. It sucked because even though my romantic feelings for the ex were gone, I still cared for her a lot.
On the other side of things, I have a good friend who is married to this hot red-head. The hot red-head had been with a couple of my buddies friends in the past including my buddies best friend. Everyone involved gets along just fine, but I think a big part of the reason is when the hot red-head was with the best friend, it was back in highschool when she was 15, so it is really ancient history. It also helps that my buddy knows that his wife would have zero interest today in hooking up with the best friend, and he can trust his best friend not to compromise their friendship by making a move.
It really comes down to two questions. First, why do these ex's want to continue to hang out together? Is it like my ex where she is angling to get back together or is it like my buddies friend who does so because they have the same circle of friends and it would be impossible not to be around your ex, so you might as well get along.
The other is obviously the question of trust. Even though my wife had a feeling my ex wanted to get back together with me, she trusted me enough to know nothing would happen. Same as my buddy, who can trust both his wife and his best friend not to do anything.
On the other side of things, I have a good friend who is married to this hot red-head. The hot red-head had been with a couple of my buddies friends in the past including my buddies best friend. Everyone involved gets along just fine, but I think a big part of the reason is when the hot red-head was with the best friend, it was back in highschool when she was 15, so it is really ancient history. It also helps that my buddy knows that his wife would have zero interest today in hooking up with the best friend, and he can trust his best friend not to compromise their friendship by making a move.
It really comes down to two questions. First, why do these ex's want to continue to hang out together? Is it like my ex where she is angling to get back together or is it like my buddies friend who does so because they have the same circle of friends and it would be impossible not to be around your ex, so you might as well get along.
The other is obviously the question of trust. Even though my wife had a feeling my ex wanted to get back together with me, she trusted me enough to know nothing would happen. Same as my buddy, who can trust both his wife and his best friend not to do anything.
Seananigans
Honorary Shit-PhD
- 13,920
- 34,895
Trust is only useful insofar as to be relatively certain that your significant other won't just randomly cheat on you in a first-circumstance or first-meet type of scenario.
Past that, it's an issue of understanding human nature, and realizing that maintaining 1-on-1 contact with any opposite sex person (especially an ex, with whom the sexual groundwork is already laid) is simply inappropriate and disrespectful to the partner. It's about not putting yourself into a situation where anything MIGHT happen. No matter how much you trust your partner, the circumstances DO exist where they can and will fuck up and "accidentally" do something shitty to you. So you simply don't put either partner in those situations to begin with.
This is all speaking of 1-on-1 encounters, hang-outs, and includes any form of 1-on-1 communication (texting, FB private messaging, etc). The above-mentioned scenario is not really an issue, where they share a circle of friends or whatever... as long as the exes aren't hanging out 1-on-1.
Past that, it's an issue of understanding human nature, and realizing that maintaining 1-on-1 contact with any opposite sex person (especially an ex, with whom the sexual groundwork is already laid) is simply inappropriate and disrespectful to the partner. It's about not putting yourself into a situation where anything MIGHT happen. No matter how much you trust your partner, the circumstances DO exist where they can and will fuck up and "accidentally" do something shitty to you. So you simply don't put either partner in those situations to begin with.
This is all speaking of 1-on-1 encounters, hang-outs, and includes any form of 1-on-1 communication (texting, FB private messaging, etc). The above-mentioned scenario is not really an issue, where they share a circle of friends or whatever... as long as the exes aren't hanging out 1-on-1.
