Big Phoenix
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The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread
- Thread starter Wintermute
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Those figures are for couples who have sex throughout the entire year too, so if its 20% per year, it's probably only 2% per each instance of having sex. Is 2% chance of fucking up your life worth raw dogging it?(yes, condoms suck) Make her take the pill, pull out, AND talk to her about her thoughts on abortion (hint: there is a reason 75% of all kids this year will be born to unmarried women in the u.s. ... their biological clocks have been running for 10+ years when they get out of college, you can't fight biology, they want a kid even if they know it's a bad idea). Me, I don't want a kid, but I'd be totally ok if it did happen, so I don't bother pulling out and only rely on her word that she is diligent about taking the pill. YMMV.
Void
BAU BAU
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In regard to Dumar's statements:
Are we the only ones capable of this enlightenment? Because every other living being that I can think of has the biological imperative to spread its dna/genes/progeny as far and as wide as possible. Even plants, insects (hive mind or not, even those work solely for the benefit of the queen, who will further the lineage), bacteria...anything you want to name that we consider living, all it is really trying to do is fuck as much as possible and have as many babies as possible. Humans are really the only ones that have really detoured from that objective of spreading our seed far and wide even a little bit.
Now, animals and plants clearly do not specifically think of the cost/benefit ratio of their actions most of the time, but neither are they capable of any sort of selfless love (dog owners notwithstanding). So it is just us humans. And from everything we know, since Day 1, we've been doing things more or less the same way, with some sort of market structure. Can I kill Ooga in order to fuck his woman Booga, or will he kill me instead? Can I rape and pillage this peasant village and get away with it? Can I convince that girl in my English class to go on a date with me?
I am not necessarily disagreeing with you that things maybe shouldn't be a little different, but I'm not seeing how it can have been wrong throughout our entire existence like these guys are claiming. We wouldn't have made it to this point, in my opinion, if we didn't have the sort of system we've always had. So where is the hard evidence that it is wrong, and that this other way is right? It's like saying two plus two does not equal four. It doesn't matter that we've always thought it did, that was just a social neurosis that everyone bought into, it should really equal five. But the only reasoning I have to give you is that I know it is wrong. That's a terrible example of course, but where is the quantifiable evidence that this other way is right and ours is wrong?
I'd love to have this concept of love you've put out there, don't get me wrong. But how do you possibly get there without one party or the other, if not both, deciding that it is in their best interest to do so? That's inherently a value judgment, with cost/benefit ratio, blah blah. And at every stage there is further value analysis, do I stay with this other person or get a divorce, or screw around, or have kids, etc. It isn't always like that, but even when you just love someone so much, you're still subconsciously deciding that it is worth it to you to stay with them. How can you possibly remove those judgment from the equation? The only way I can even remotely envision it is if we are paired with someone else randomly, with no choice in the matter, but we're just fine with that and every single pairing falls madly in love. I truly cannot imagine that every happening unless millions of years from now we are totally unrecognizable as humans and don't have many of the brain centers we do today. No jealousy, no greed, no hatred, no lust, no ambition, no sense of individuality...basically lobotomized robots. If there is another way you think this can happen, I'd love to hear it.
As an aside, I'm not very fond of the whole "value" thing, "negging," Game Theory, all that jazz. So I'm not arguing to keep it around. I'm just wondering where in the hell these philosophers, sociologists, etc. found the basis for their arguments.
Basically the same thing that Trollface already asked. Who decided that the current norms of "love" is wrong? Actually, let me rephrase that to use the words you did...who decided that EVERY norm of EVERY civilization of EVERY time period humans have ever had is defective? I mean, did some of these guys just decide they weren't getting enough pussy and therefore our version of "love" and relationships are wrong? Or is there some sort of data to actually back these claims up?
Are we the only ones capable of this enlightenment? Because every other living being that I can think of has the biological imperative to spread its dna/genes/progeny as far and as wide as possible. Even plants, insects (hive mind or not, even those work solely for the benefit of the queen, who will further the lineage), bacteria...anything you want to name that we consider living, all it is really trying to do is fuck as much as possible and have as many babies as possible. Humans are really the only ones that have really detoured from that objective of spreading our seed far and wide even a little bit.
Now, animals and plants clearly do not specifically think of the cost/benefit ratio of their actions most of the time, but neither are they capable of any sort of selfless love (dog owners notwithstanding). So it is just us humans. And from everything we know, since Day 1, we've been doing things more or less the same way, with some sort of market structure. Can I kill Ooga in order to fuck his woman Booga, or will he kill me instead? Can I rape and pillage this peasant village and get away with it? Can I convince that girl in my English class to go on a date with me?
I am not necessarily disagreeing with you that things maybe shouldn't be a little different, but I'm not seeing how it can have been wrong throughout our entire existence like these guys are claiming. We wouldn't have made it to this point, in my opinion, if we didn't have the sort of system we've always had. So where is the hard evidence that it is wrong, and that this other way is right? It's like saying two plus two does not equal four. It doesn't matter that we've always thought it did, that was just a social neurosis that everyone bought into, it should really equal five. But the only reasoning I have to give you is that I know it is wrong. That's a terrible example of course, but where is the quantifiable evidence that this other way is right and ours is wrong?
I'd love to have this concept of love you've put out there, don't get me wrong. But how do you possibly get there without one party or the other, if not both, deciding that it is in their best interest to do so? That's inherently a value judgment, with cost/benefit ratio, blah blah. And at every stage there is further value analysis, do I stay with this other person or get a divorce, or screw around, or have kids, etc. It isn't always like that, but even when you just love someone so much, you're still subconsciously deciding that it is worth it to you to stay with them. How can you possibly remove those judgment from the equation? The only way I can even remotely envision it is if we are paired with someone else randomly, with no choice in the matter, but we're just fine with that and every single pairing falls madly in love. I truly cannot imagine that every happening unless millions of years from now we are totally unrecognizable as humans and don't have many of the brain centers we do today. No jealousy, no greed, no hatred, no lust, no ambition, no sense of individuality...basically lobotomized robots. If there is another way you think this can happen, I'd love to hear it.
As an aside, I'm not very fond of the whole "value" thing, "negging," Game Theory, all that jazz. So I'm not arguing to keep it around. I'm just wondering where in the hell these philosophers, sociologists, etc. found the basis for their arguments.
Me and the tight/crazy girl usually start with a rubber, fuck for a while, take a break, and then continue without one. I have no kind of idea what the odds % are on that. Yes, I need to have 'the' talk with her.
thanks for the info
thanks for the info
Famm
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The debate on precum is still unresolved. There have been tests showing it contains sperm and it does not. There's debate if it contains sperm or if the sperm found is dragging leftovers through the urethra with it. So precum is probably more dangerous if your most recent ejaculation was more recent than bathing and frequent urination since there will be more residual sperm.
Keep that in mind with pulling out too, if you cum once, then go back later for another pull out session there could be sperm left over on your junk. All that being said, there's a reason your ejaculate contains millions of sperm when only one is needed to fertilize the egg. The environment is actually a harsh one for that single swimmer to complete his mission. But it only takes one and the consequences for you are severe if you fuck up.
Simple answer:
Use a fucking condom you dumbass. I wouldn't trust the pill, it works but I know way too many men who have kids because their girl decided it was time and "forgot" her pill. It sounds like an urban myth but it really happens all the time. As men we have only two ways of controlling contraception ourselves, condoms and vasectomies. Since vasectomy is pretty extreme and permanent, you are left with condoms for determining your own future rather than letting some hormonal woman decide it. Condoms really aren't that bad. The biggest issue to me is when you are used to going raw, it can be a mood killer to have to break one out. But the more you get used to using them, the more my brain associates it as part of the sex ritual and I don't lose any arousal putting it on. Yeah pussy feels better bare, but I don't have any problems finishing with a condom. If anything the slight reduction in sensation is nice to help go longer.
Complicated (yet somehow shorter) answer:
If you're going to play Russian roulette and use the pull out method, combine it with the rhythm method. This means learning her cycle and understanding how it works. Most girls are using apps to track their period on their iPhones now, you can too. I hate to be so definitive about it because I don't suggest dropping loads in her and feeling like its ok, but if you truly time it right, there's sections of the month where she literallycan'tget pregnant.
Bottom line though, unprotected is fucking risky and unwanted children are NOT worth that risk. Don't be stupid, you'll have the rest of your life to regret it.
Keep that in mind with pulling out too, if you cum once, then go back later for another pull out session there could be sperm left over on your junk. All that being said, there's a reason your ejaculate contains millions of sperm when only one is needed to fertilize the egg. The environment is actually a harsh one for that single swimmer to complete his mission. But it only takes one and the consequences for you are severe if you fuck up.
Simple answer:
Use a fucking condom you dumbass. I wouldn't trust the pill, it works but I know way too many men who have kids because their girl decided it was time and "forgot" her pill. It sounds like an urban myth but it really happens all the time. As men we have only two ways of controlling contraception ourselves, condoms and vasectomies. Since vasectomy is pretty extreme and permanent, you are left with condoms for determining your own future rather than letting some hormonal woman decide it. Condoms really aren't that bad. The biggest issue to me is when you are used to going raw, it can be a mood killer to have to break one out. But the more you get used to using them, the more my brain associates it as part of the sex ritual and I don't lose any arousal putting it on. Yeah pussy feels better bare, but I don't have any problems finishing with a condom. If anything the slight reduction in sensation is nice to help go longer.
Complicated (yet somehow shorter) answer:
If you're going to play Russian roulette and use the pull out method, combine it with the rhythm method. This means learning her cycle and understanding how it works. Most girls are using apps to track their period on their iPhones now, you can too. I hate to be so definitive about it because I don't suggest dropping loads in her and feeling like its ok, but if you truly time it right, there's sections of the month where she literallycan'tget pregnant.
Bottom line though, unprotected is fucking risky and unwanted children are NOT worth that risk. Don't be stupid, you'll have the rest of your life to regret it.
iannis
Musty Nester
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You might think 4% sounds like good odds. The most important part of that wikipedia blurb is the easiest to dismiss.
I'm sticking with somewhat unlikely. Unless she tracks her ovulation cycle, in which case you could raw dog it for about a week every month without any real concerns.
I see what you did there.You're correct, true loving relationships are pretty rare. There's little reason remaining now to invest that heavily in only one other human. You can do it for a time, but eventually your returns will be more optimized with another investment vehicle. Failing to recognize that reality leaves one or both partners feeling ripped off because they didn't adjust their expectations for long term performance and rearrange their assets appropriately.
Famm
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Let her fucking walk man. Even if you still want her, let her walk away and most likely she'll end up still wanting you. She is disrespecting the hell out of you right now though and you should absolutely not put up with it. What you really should do is go totally dark on her and cut her off and have the balls to stick with that for at least a month if not forever. I know you probably won't but you need to tell her fine hit the fucking road and marry him.
Famm
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Biology again dude. Sorry its so unromantic for you but its really trulywhythis thread and these issues exist. We love to place our thoughts and feeeellllllinnnggsss and consciousness on a pedestal, but the base motivations are crude and animalistic. IF you really want a world of these genuine relationships, a good starting point might be somehow growing past our sexual urges because they fuck interpersonal shit up constantly. Way more than market forces.
Its true!
Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Its not really empirically proven, but I'd say the biggest failure cause of people using pull out is simply "oops". Could be guy lying about pulling out successfully, "just a spurt", or full on fucked up and let loose in her. Could also be a factor of taking those pull out odds and combining them with the ovulatory danger zone.
Similarly, I'd say the biggest reason the rhythm method fails is simply human error. A huge drawback is simply being inaccurate. The closer you are to the ovulation window the more dangerous it gets, and of course the cycle isn't perfectly the same every month. People get complacent and get their days off by a bit here and there and then accidents happen.
Condoms!!!
Famm
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Hey, its a big internet out there. Go explore, whatever floats your boat dude....
ohkcrlho
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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so i think we all know having your cellphone with you when you are drunk is a dangerous combination....
backstory:
3 weeks ago i ended a 7-year relationship mainly because she lied to me (nothing to do with cheating) and it wasn't the 1st time.
and there is a girl in my class at college who i hung out pretty good until she found out i had a girlfriend.she became more distant and cold,maybe she thought i was hitting on her when i was "married" and she had a boyfriend (even though i really don't understand why they are together,sometimes she said to me couple of times "oh sometimes i just wanted to be alone","sometimes he pisses me off so much",they ended up like 4 times in 3 years,i rarely see them together.they don't act as couple at all).
anyway,during those days,i just wanted to have a good female friend i could to talk,she is very nice and she helped me sometimes with my studies.but at the same time if she ever said "fuck me",i would not do anything but my dick would say to me "you are such a moron".
we kept talking with each other during the holidays (normal stuff) but since sunday,she stop responding.
the situation is totally different today,i'm single and i am searching for new options and.....
....yesterday i was with a couple of friends ,drinking beer after beer and we start talking about girls and our current and past relationships.they already knew my story with this girl and they said "hey text her.you have nothing to lose" (maybe our friendship,i thought).but drunk as a mule i said "fuck it.i'll text her"
so i did:
me "man you are so mean"
her "why?"
me "you don't respond to me"
her "oh sorry.i was busy"
me "oh yeah right....you didn't have time for me"
her "oh don't be like that"
me "ok ok....so when are we going to see each other?"
her "when we go to the beach" (we had spoken about this in the past.me,her and friends from our class)
me "oh but now it's so hard.many of our friends are far away"
her "so we have to wait."
me "we 2 could go to the beach tomorrow"
her "oh i don't know...." (here i started to be very suspicious and intrigued)
me "oh come on....am i really such a bad guy to be with?i really like to hang out with you"
her "i like to hang out with you either but i don't if i should"
me "i let you choose the beach we go to"
her "one we all could go is fine"
me "all?"
her "yes.....all.with our friends"
me "so any beach is fine with you right?
after this......no news from her lol
backstory:
3 weeks ago i ended a 7-year relationship mainly because she lied to me (nothing to do with cheating) and it wasn't the 1st time.
and there is a girl in my class at college who i hung out pretty good until she found out i had a girlfriend.she became more distant and cold,maybe she thought i was hitting on her when i was "married" and she had a boyfriend (even though i really don't understand why they are together,sometimes she said to me couple of times "oh sometimes i just wanted to be alone","sometimes he pisses me off so much",they ended up like 4 times in 3 years,i rarely see them together.they don't act as couple at all).
anyway,during those days,i just wanted to have a good female friend i could to talk,she is very nice and she helped me sometimes with my studies.but at the same time if she ever said "fuck me",i would not do anything but my dick would say to me "you are such a moron".
we kept talking with each other during the holidays (normal stuff) but since sunday,she stop responding.
the situation is totally different today,i'm single and i am searching for new options and.....
....yesterday i was with a couple of friends ,drinking beer after beer and we start talking about girls and our current and past relationships.they already knew my story with this girl and they said "hey text her.you have nothing to lose" (maybe our friendship,i thought).but drunk as a mule i said "fuck it.i'll text her"
so i did:
me "man you are so mean"
her "why?"
me "you don't respond to me"
her "oh sorry.i was busy"
me "oh yeah right....you didn't have time for me"
her "oh don't be like that"
me "ok ok....so when are we going to see each other?"
her "when we go to the beach" (we had spoken about this in the past.me,her and friends from our class)
me "oh but now it's so hard.many of our friends are far away"
her "so we have to wait."
me "we 2 could go to the beach tomorrow"
her "oh i don't know...." (here i started to be very suspicious and intrigued)
me "oh come on....am i really such a bad guy to be with?i really like to hang out with you"
her "i like to hang out with you either but i don't if i should"
me "i let you choose the beach we go to"
her "one we all could go is fine"
me "all?"
her "yes.....all.with our friends"
me "so any beach is fine with you right?
after this......no news from her lol
Jesus man. That needy, whiny shit doesn't work. Step up your game. Tell her that your single, but drop it in to conversation by telling her about your date with some other chick. The goal is to make her feel jealous, not sorry for you.
You don't need to make her jealous. That's what insecure creeps do. Get to the point and ask her out.
ohkcrlho
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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oh sorry not saying this before but she knows i'm single.i'm not whining and i don't need her to feel pity for me.never was my goal.
maybe saying i'm dating with another chick is a good "strategy".in fact, a friend of mine is always talking about a cousin he has who is really cute and i should meet her
maybe saying i'm dating with another chick is a good "strategy".in fact, a friend of mine is always talking about a cousin he has who is really cute and i should meet her
You're not whining here, but the tone of your texts is very needy and she's clearly friendzoning you. If you want to date that chick, you've got to make her see you as a potential mating partner rather than as a friend. Demonstrating sexual or romantic confidence is generally the best way to do so.
ohkcrlho
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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hmm.....you are right about that part.but like i said,i still want our friendship to be intact even if i don't have nothing more than a kiss on the cheek.maybe my approach is wrong but i am a very cautious guy (this is kinda stupid but whatever)
maybe the 7-year-old relationship is taking its toll and now i have just to step up with the dating thing ahah
maybe the 7-year-old relationship is taking its toll and now i have just to step up with the dating thing ahah
It's easy to feel lonely after being in a long relationship. Don't rush into anything. Date a few people and get comfortable being single and you'll be in a better place in the long run.