The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread
- Thread starter Wintermute
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
ohkcrlho
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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yeah.... you are right about that. already someone told me not to rush into anything.just enjoy being single but at the same time,search for future possibilities
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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Here's how that convo should have went
You: "Hey when we hanging out again?"
Her: "When do you want to?"
You: "Tomorrow, lets go to the beach."
Her: "I don't know if I should..."
You: "Okay tell you what, you let me know when you want to hang out again. I'm pretty busy so if it works out it does, if not it doesn't."
-End Texts-
You: "Hey when we hanging out again?"
Her: "When do you want to?"
You: "Tomorrow, lets go to the beach."
Her: "I don't know if I should..."
You: "Okay tell you what, you let me know when you want to hang out again. I'm pretty busy so if it works out it does, if not it doesn't."
-End Texts-
Void
BAU BAU
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I'm sure someone will jump in here, so let me be the one to do it. You shouldn't end it with "let me know when you want to hang out again" either. You should end it with something more along the lines of "maybe next time" or something similar. You don't want to leave it up to her, because then what do you do, ask her if she's ready to hang out the next time you text her? I'm not into the whole "who has the power" thing as much, but those parts are true. Telling her it is up to her makes it sound like you'd jump at the chance whenever she deigns to contact you. You want to indicate that you'll ask her again at some point, not that you are waiting for her.
EDIT: Or you could do what Maxx suggested below. His advice is even better.
EDIT: Or you could do what Maxx suggested below. His advice is even better.
Leadsalad
Cis-XYite-Nationalist
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Frack man, that texting was cringe worthy.
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/...en-more-proof/
The site mentioned is hilarious by the way -http://hetexted.com/
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/...en-more-proof/
The site mentioned is hilarious by the way -http://hetexted.com/
Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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With what I said, he didn't leave it up to her. He gave her the option to let him know later but also told her "I'm a busy guy, maybe later will work, maybe it wont." He has the power there and is telling her we can do this now or maybe another time if that works for me, maybe not.
Or you can do what you want to do, which it looks like you did. You'll likely not get the result you're looking for, but the result isn't what's important.
Here's how that convo should've went:
Friends: Put your damn phone away before you say some stupid, needy shit, or we'll shatter bottles against your head
Me: Ok. *Puts phone back in pocket*
TrollfaceDeux
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Wrong, wrong WRONG!
This is one of the simplest things we guys all tend to do that can be fixed. You decide on a plan, (action dates are best not dinner/movie type shit, so beach can be perfectly fine), and you draw her into it. You NEVER say shit like "whereever you want to go" "you choose" "so does that sound ok?" "which beach do you like?". You, the man, make the plan and invite her to join in it. And don't fucking ask why if she says no, you just move on. Expecting her to make decisions results in instant dry conditions in the panties. This one simple thing is a huge boost for anyone to start doing. Don't ask questions, make statements, have a plan and express that you're making her a part of this plan.
"I don't know, what do you feel like eating" is death to say to a woman. Any of you who have been in long term relationships and said this can probably remember multiple times when such simple shit turned into a giant fight and you chalked it up to female unreasonableness. She might still complain in that situation or be grumpy when you choose something and stick with it, but you're better off just being decisive and wrong than indecisive. You can always spin it and blow it off as a wash. And if she's still a turbo bitch she's worthless, long term relationship or not.
What hewants to dois hang out with this girl. Not ask her questions in texts and see what she says. The result is everything, he wasn't asking that shit to have a meaningful conversation and find out what her choice of beach says about her as a person.
Because acting as you want to act is more important than any result you want to get. It's up to you to be strong enough tobe yourself as you want to be, not a self that wants a result, a social conformity and validation.
TrollfaceDeux
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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How does one know how strong enough he is if he does not push the limit?
EDIT: I don't know, man. validation and conformity is sometimes how my brain determines what I like and don't. shit seems to change all the time, yo.
Acting as you're told to act (i.e., by the opposite sex) is a form of social conformity and validation by achieving a certain result. This isn't self-improvement, or a 'better you' like the rational male says. Those are rationalizations for conforming to a set of behaviors.
But Dumar, all of society is a set of behaviors we conform to. Yes, but you want to limit it as much as you can, and it should not approach every sphere of life, especially when it comes to your personality. You conform at work, school, with your family, everywhere. Are you going to conformyet againby letting female hormones dictate the type of text you want to send?
No. Send the needy text. You won't get the desired result, but you'll do asyouwanted to do.
This is a really useful comment, one of better ones said in this thread.
ohkcrlho
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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@ Famm:i know i know,i was really stupid.now i am realizing how stupid i was during that conversation.
like i said,during those 7 years i kinda forgot all this flirting/start dating thing.i'm now a newbie again lol
oh and she is 5 years younger than me.that counts for something right?
like i said,during those 7 years i kinda forgot all this flirting/start dating thing.i'm now a newbie again lol
oh and she is 5 years younger than me.that counts for something right?
We can be dicks, but obviously we're trying to help. That convo got you no points, plain and simple.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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What if the way you want to act sucks and isn't conducive with getting laid, but you want to get laid. Isn't it then more important to fake it to get the desired results?
ohkcrlho
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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