The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

This mutual friends awkwardness seems like a recurring theme with you too, maybe I'm imagining things.

Nah it's the first time it's been literally the same group of people with me. I've always held by the 'don't shit where you eat' philosophy until now. Of course you think you're adults now and it'll be different... nope

never read this thread but what's your guys stance on asking a girl you just met (i.e she is a complete stranger or you don't know her very well) if she has or had STDs? or do you just rock a condom and get tested later?

balroc_sl said:

never read this thread but what's your guys stance on asking a girl you just met (i.e she is a complete stranger or you don't know her very well) if she has or had STDs? or do you just rock a condom and get tested later?

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Condom isn't 100% reliable for stopping some STD's, especially something like Herpes (which is transmitted through skin-to-skin contact rather than bodily fluids). I don't see any harm in asking and if it were me I would rather wait for a test than risk getting the herps. 1/6 Americans have herpes, those aren't odds I would want to gamble with.

http://std.about.com/od/herpes/f/con...ventherpes.htm
http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm

Yeah, I agree that the Herp is a big deal, but at the same time it isn't. There is also a big difference between a cold sore and getting fucking sores on your junk (that would suck). But you are right that a huge percentage of people have it and it can be worked around. Still, if you are dating and you have the herp could you imagine having that conversation with every new relationship? I would still try to avoid it if at all possible. If you found "the one" I would easily overlook it, but I wouldn't risk getting it over a potential one night stand.

Hoss_sl said:

the herp aint that big of a deal. 1 in 6 seems very low though, maybe that's just diagnosed cases. I thought I read that they estimated 40% of americans have it and don't even know. Most people get it as a child. If you've ever had a cold sore, you have herpes. I saw a study where they looked at married couples who had regular sex where one partner had herpes and the other didn't. If the couple refrained from intimate contact when the infected partner had a flair up, the transmission rate was something like 1 or 2% per year.

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That 40% figure is for HSV-1 which causes oral Herpes, not the genital type (HSV-2). HSV-1 is the one that you generally get as a child (age 2-4) and a lot go undiagnosed because only ~25% of cases are actually symptomatic. Just because you've had a cold sore doesn't mean you have genital herpes.

Phazael_sl said:

Don't forget number 3: Don't stick your dick in the crazy.

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No one would get laid, ever.

I have HSV - 1... I didn't have it 5 years ago, my first ever std test was completely clean, I contracted it sometime within the last 3 years (Likely from the girl that told me she tested positive for hep-c, but I can't prove it, nor does it really matter). I don't have HSV-2, my last std test was about 6 months ago, I was once treated for symptoms of chlamydia about 2 years ago, burning and discharge, but test results were negative, was just some kind of UTI even though they aren't common in men.

I've had 2 flare ups within that time, both right around flu season, both right after I got sick. First time I had a small single sore that lasted about a week, looked like a pimple and was painless but kinda gross because it oozed for a day or 2. Second time I had 2 sores right next to each other and it lasted about 2 1/2 weeks (I had a bad case of strep-throat 2 weeks prior), they were uncomfortable for a few days, after a week I tried putting neosporin on them, I'd recommend against that (google it if you care), after 2 weeks I started taking lysine (1000mg pill twice a day) and it cleared up within 4 days although it had started to do so on it's own anyways.

My girlfriend kinda freaked out when I told her I had genital herpes, but it's actually been a non-issue really for me, YMMV, but I have genital herpes and it hasn't really bothered me. If you were really concerned about outbreaks (or you had them more often than I do, or are worse than mine, you could always take something like valtrex).

i guess i`m more concerned with how you broach the subject of STDs with someone you want to fuck but don't know very well (not a prostitute, just a girl you've started dating) and how you would deal with what, to me at least, is a pretty awkward conversation. would you ask during dinner or maybe casually when you're out and about or right before a fuck (which seems like the worst case scenario.)?

When things are obviously headed to a fuck but you still have your pants on seems like the best time to me.

It's not dinner conversation. It's not a random thing that you bring up. That'll scare anyone away. Out of the blue some girl tells me she has the herp? Dude... I'm gone. Even if I like her. Boner killer. But there should always be that pre first time doin' it conversation though where you ask her how many dicks she's sucked on the way through the parking lot and admit to her that you're a shy virgin.

That seems the best place to drop the herp bomb. You won't be getting laid that night (unless she has it too, SCORE)... so just write off getting laid that night. But if all you're looking to do is get laid why even tell her? That's amazingly shitty... but there it is, layin on the floor like a stinky obvious turd.

balroc_sl said:

i guess i`m more concerned with how you broach the subject of STDs with someone you want to fuck but don't know very well (not a prostitute, just a girl you've started dating) and how you would deal with what, to me at least, is a pretty awkward conversation. would you ask during dinner or maybe casually when you're out and about or right before a fuck (which seems like the worst case scenario.)?

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Honestly never been in that boat in my life so I don't have any sage words of wisdom for you. Maybe stick to old fashions until you know each other a little better and it is easier to broach the subject?

I don't know how it was brought up but my recently divorced brother was seeing a girl who basically demanded he get tested before they got intimate, anecdotal but I don't think it is out of the norm in the adult dating world to voice concerns like that.

My main point was regardless of how awkward the conversation, I would bring it up rather than tapping it and hoping for the best because the consequences are far too great.

Or just be confident that you're not pursuing women who are at risk. Not saying it's perfect but every girl I've been with I've been pretty confident I wasn't gonna burn taking my morning leak the next day.

The only time I've ever been scared was when I found out my exgf was (allegedly) cheating on me with a countless number of dudes. I thought I was in the clear for 2+ years as I was in monogamous relationship. Ha.

Whoops.

Everything turned out fine, but waiting for those test results were the longest couple of days of my entire life. Bitches.

Question to people who live/have lived with girlfriends (and knowing this forum, trannies) before:

How do you divide finances? Split everything, or have spheres of responsibility (utlities, grocery, rent, gas, etc.)?

When my now wife first moved in with me, I paid the bills and she gave me money. More often then not it was less than her share but it was more because I told her to give me X amount of dollars rather than her abusing her girl status. I should point out she moved into a house that I owned and already had an established roommate living with me for several years.

As a general rule with roommates, I found that splitting everything works better than spheres. Eventually someone feels like they are getting the shit end of the stick (even if they aren't).