Everyone says "you'd want someone to tell you" especially online. But in reality the phrase "he was the last to know" is much more prevalent, and it stands to reason when you look at people's interactions. There's a hell of a lot of dynamics that come into play and its never usually so easy as your best friend having rock solid evidence and letting you know the deal. Especially with wives and shit. More often there are multiple people's lives and interests intertwined as well as tons of plausible deniability and people rationalizing that something could just be a rumor.
I've been on every side of this situation, I'll admit, and pretty much every single time it gets exposed because of either a guilty party admitting, a suspicious party investigating or someone involved just simply fucking up and blowing the subterfuge. Sometimes crazy shit like an affair getting too attached/crazy and letting the wife/husband know they are going to take the spouse from them. I've never known it to be a matter of "hey bro, I gotta tell you something" followed by a rational assessment of the situation and responsive course of action.
Maybe in HS or college there would be a "dude she's banging that other guy wtf" and even then drama follows despite everyone being immature beer drinking idiots who in retrospect had little to gain or lose in the long run. But for adults there's so much at stake from jobs, marriages, children, friendships between couples/mutual friendships....people manage to rationalize away letting things go on under the radar and hope for the best rather than be involved in the nuclear war that's percolating.
In thisparticularcase, I can't even imagine what you're asking Numbers to do. "Hey, you don't know me but I'm a student here, and I've been banging you're wife for the past year. But I'm totally going to stop now since I found out you're married. Have a good day!" WTF, seriously?
