So, I've been with my current GF for 8 months now. We worked in the same office for roughly a year before we started dating (albeit in different departments). We had some random interactions at the workplace over time, but given my position I really didn't want to start anything. Then she started talking with me after helping to cover the reception area after the previous receptionist got fired until they got a replacement. About 3 months later, I hadn't seen anyone in a few weeks and things clicked in casual conversation, so we started dating. Things progressed quicker than usual given the fact we knew each other, at least casually, from work.
After 3 months, I transferred to Arizona. We talked about just ending it versus trying an LTR thing for awhile. Ultimately, I decided things had been going pretty well, so I wasn't going to give up fornoreason, seeing as I had barely finished moving in. After about 2 months of that, I came to the conclusion the LTR thing was just dumb as fuck, so I told her I either had to concentrate on living in my new city and meet new people including women, or she needed to move out with me because it was 100% not going to work out the way it was going. For perspective, I REALLY didn't want to have her move in that early in a relationship, but ultimately, it made more sense to me to see where things went rather than wander around town like a Quaker and only talk to her on the weekends due to the time zone differential and work schedules. I didn't see me being MORE comfortable with her moving in 9 months later after a bunch more weekend chat sessions. So we pulled the trigger.
She moved out and things have been going well for the first few months. She got a job and car quickly, acclimated fairly well to the climate and we've done a few weekend trips. She's 'jokingly' brought up marriage in the past and I flatly told her that I wasn't interested right now in my life, and may never be because I really just don't care for the institution in general. She said she understood but was obviously disappointed at the pretty frank response. We're both on the same page about kids (IE, none). I'm still searching for my own answers on the marriage thing long-term, but right now I'm kind of 'meh' about everything. Things are going very well, all things considered, but I've been off-put by how comfortable things have been since the beginning. I guess it's like gearing up for some really difficult task and everything goes stupidly well and your feared 9 hours of work is done in 30 minutes. It's disappointing in a way. She doesn't have quite as 'challenging' of a personality (IE, challenges ideas, witty, comebacks, etc.) in private as she does in public and that could be feeding into things as well. I guess I feel like we just keep going and wait to see if things fall apart? I'm not sure if there's a place to be leading this to, but at the same time I don't want to try and poke holes in the boat just to see if it WILL sink. My parents had a pretty shitty relationship (not in an abusive way but they 100% stayed together because of the kids) and admittedly I am subconsciously analyzing everything for the same warning signs I saw when growing up. That just feels shitty to me. I'm just not sure how much is that aspect versus what I should be expecting from my relationship with the woman.
