The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

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Aychamo BanBan

<Banned>
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If I had the money I might be doing something similar, because women anywhere near my age either already have several kids of their own and I will always be second place (and they typically make this abundantly clear within the first 7 minutes), or their biological clock is ticking and they want to pump some out as soon as possible. I'm not strictly opposed to either situation mind you, but when that's all I ever hear about through the entire date...I'd rather have spent the money for that dinner on a hooker, you know?

However, I keep trying, so in keeping with the spirit of this thread, I need some advice. I've been going to physical therapy for the last few months. The receptionist, who doesn't actually do any work on me but greets me when I come in, is awesome. I realize she treats almost everyone the same way, greeting them by name, asking how their day is, etc. so she isn't doing anything special for me, but it still feels like it, if you know what I mean. I've chatted her up some and had short conversations beyond simple hello and taking my money, so I know a few things about her and have tried to put myself out there some. For example, I know she plays roller derby, at a rink practically across the street from where I live no less. I've never brought up anything relationship-wise, so I have no idea if she's in one, or if she likes dudes for that matter (hey, roller derby stereotype, sue me), but she doesn't have a wedding ring at least.

Anyway, my last session is this week, and I'd like to instigate contact once I'm not coming in every week. I'm not sure how unprofessional that would seem though, given that she's more or less just as friendly with everyone that comes in. I'm also not sure how to go about it when there will almost certainly be other employees listening in (you can hear almost everything anywhere in the office), so even if she were inclined to agree that could make her hesitate. I don't want to be all, "Here's my number, call me if you're interested" because we all know that probably won't work even if she IS interested, but I don't want to put her on the spot where she'll be more worried about her job than me either.

I could also call up and ask her on the phone after I was gone to ensure that no one else overheard, but that sounds like being a pussy too, like I couldn't work up the courage to do it in person.

My only other thought was that I have already planned on getting thank you cards and some small gift cards for the therapists that have helped me (I've been going for the better part of 5 months so I don't think that is inappropriate given how much time we've spent together...I was going to do it for Christmas but since I knew my time was ending soon I chose to wait), and of course I'd give her one as well. I'd write a little something to each of them thanking them, and obviously I could add a line or two in hers, but that seems fairly pussy too. Still, that seems like my best option right now.

I know the correct response is just ask her directly, but given the limitations of the office and the fact that several people will probably be listening (including patients) that seems like instant death because it will put her on the spot. Even trying to indirectly suggest doing something and asking for her number would be far too obvious with the number of ears that will be listening. If I had any inclination that she was eager for me to ask I'd just do it no matter who was listening, but she's just been friendly to me, which she is to everyone, so I'm mostly taking a shot in the dark here and hoping for a hit. Can't succeed if you don't try, right?

So what's the best way to go about trying this? Thanks in advance for any advice.
I think its entirely inappropriate to ask her out while you're a patient there. That may even get her in trouble. If you feel compelled to do this, I'd wait till after you are finished (as you already said), and I'd simply call up there, and when she answers, identify yourself and ask her out. If she says no, oh well. But a better way would have been to exploit the roller derby info. "When is her next game? Is it fun to watch? Oh that sounds cool, I'm going to go check it out!" Now bam, you've set up a "date", framed a "relationship", and she'd probably be anticipating seeing you there, whether she was interested in you or not. I would not send her a thank you card, etc.
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
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607
I think its entirely inappropriate to ask her out while you're a patient there. That may even get her in trouble. If you feel compelled to do this, I'd wait till after you are finished (as you already said), and I'd simply call up there, and when she answers, identify yourself and ask her out. If she says no, oh well. But a better way would have been to exploit the roller derby info. "When is her next game? Is it fun to watch? Oh that sounds cool, I'm going to go check it out!" Now bam, you've set up a "date", framed a "relationship", and she'd probably be anticipating seeing you there, whether she was interested in you or not. I would not send her a thank you card, etc.
To follow up if you really,reallywant to throw game down ask her when her next match is and tell her you'll be there. Then don't show up. See if she calls you out on now being there. If she calls you out she cared about you being there. If she doesn't she didn't give a shit. If she calls you out you're golden. In fact you already implied to her you had better stuff going on than going to her derby match. Which will DHV you thru the roof! At that point you can use the "I'll make it up to you by getting coffee/drink/dinner/etc."
 

The Ancient_sl

shitlord
7,386
16
She's a fucking receptionist she's not going to get in trouble for meeting a short-term client.

Just ask her how her roller derby is going next time you see her and then tell her you'd like to watch her play sometime. If she doesn't seem enthusiastic at the prospect, let the whole thing go, she's not into you.
 

Void

BAU BAU
<Gold Donor>
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You guys are right, of course, but just to clarify, tomorrow is my last session. So if I don't show up to a future roller derby event she can't call me out on it unless she goes into my file and gets my phone number, which isn't going to happen. Also, in casual chatting about it, I know that the next season of roller derby doesn't start until at least March, possibly later, so I might as well be dead at that point. In theory I could show up out of the blue with some friends then, but 2+ months from now is over-thinking even for me I think. Not to mention potentially creepy.

I am inclined to believe that McCheese is correct and she's not into me, but it costs me nothing to at least try, right? If it fails it isn't like I'm ever going to see her again.

Still not sure exactly what to do that isn't putting myself at an immediate disadvantage by putting her on the spot in front of coworkers, but also doesn't downgrade myself by not being in person and confident. Ah well, that's why I need help!
 

TPDDODD_sl

shitlord
119
0
Good advice is to ignore stupid advice. For very good reason most companies frown on staff dating clients. You definitely should be discreet in your approach. Best bet is the phone approach. Both of you save face whatever the response is.
 

Famm

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
11,041
794
Tell her you used to be a serious roller derby coach and that's part of why you're in PT now due to one of the girls you were banging getting wind that you started seeing one from another team and threw a nasty roller hit on you blind side. Offer to give her some personalized coaching and if she shows up, comoe to the door naked. Score.
 

The Ancient_sl

shitlord
7,386
16
You guys are right, of course, but just to clarify, tomorrow is my last session. So if I don't show up to a future roller derby event she can't call me out on it unless she goes into my file and gets my phone number, which isn't going to happen. Also, in casual chatting about it, I know that the next season of roller derby doesn't start until at least March, possibly later, so I might as well be dead at that point. In theory I could show up out of the blue with some friends then, but 2+ months from now is over-thinking even for me I think. Not to mention potentially creepy.

I am inclined to believe that McCheese is correct and she's not into me, but it costs me nothing to at least try, right? If it fails it isn't like I'm ever going to see her again.

Still not sure exactly what to do that isn't putting myself at an immediate disadvantage by putting her on the spot in front of coworkers, but also doesn't downgrade myself by not being in person and confident. Ah well, that's why I need help!
Tomorrow tell her that it's your last session and remind her it's the last time you'll see her. If she likes you she'll suggest or hint that you should meet up outside of the office, if she doesn't she's never done anything but be polite to you.
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
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607
I'm always of the mind if someone is being paid to be nice to me they're probably just being nice to me because they're being paid to do it
 

McCheese

SW: Sean, CW: Crone, GW: Wizardhawk
6,922
4,327
You guys are right, of course, but just to clarify, tomorrow is my last session. So if I don't show up to a future roller derby event she can't call me out on it unless she goes into my file and gets my phone number, which isn't going to happen. Also, in casual chatting about it, I know that the next season of roller derby doesn't start until at least March, possibly later, so I might as well be dead at that point. In theory I could show up out of the blue with some friends then, but 2+ months from now is over-thinking even for me I think. Not to mention potentially creepy.

I am inclined to believe that McCheese is correct and she's not into me, but it costs me nothing to at least try, right? If it fails it isn't like I'm ever going to see her again.

Still not sure exactly what to do that isn't putting myself at an immediate disadvantage by putting her on the spot in front of coworkers, but also doesn't downgrade myself by not being in person and confident. Ah well, that's why I need help!
There's nothing wrong with a phone call to ask someone out. She's not going to think "I would have gone out with him, but this fucker asked me out OVER THE PHONE? Nevermind!".

The problem I see is that YOU feel like you're downgrading yourself by using the phone, and that will certainly be reflected in your voice. If you make something a big deal, then it becomes a big deal for her as well. Stop thinking about it with such a defeatist attitude, call her up and ask her out with the assumption that she'll say yes. You can still exude confidence over the phone.

Also, I assume you're already aware of this because it's dating 101, but if/when you ask her out, give her a concrete plan with a time and a place. No women like a vague "Would you like to do something sometime?". Especially since you'll be over the phone, having those specifics will make you seem a lot more confident.
 

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
607
There's nothing wrong with a phone call to ask someone out. She's not going to think "I would have gone out with him, but this fucker asked me out OVER THE PHONE? Nevermind!".

The problem I see is that YOU feel like you're downgrading yourself by using the phone, and that will certainly be reflected in your voice. If you make something a big deal, then it becomes a big deal for her as well. Stop thinking about it with such a defeatist attitude, call her up and ask her out with the assumption that she'll say yes. You can still exude confidence over the phone.
We're all acting like she hasn't already made up her mind if she wants to sleep with him or not. Fact is he's known her for 5 months and not made a move. If she had any interest in him it has long since passed.
 

McCheese

SW: Sean, CW: Crone, GW: Wizardhawk
6,922
4,327
We're all acting like she hasn't already made up her mind if she wants to sleep with him or not. Fact is he's known her for 5 months and not made a move. If she had any interest in him it has long since passed.
Yeah this is true, but if he's going to do it anyway he might as well do it right so his success chances go from 0% to 1%.
 

Draegan_sl

2 Minutes Hate
10,034
3
As you're leaving just ask her if she would like to go grab coffee sometime next week. If she says sure, ask her for her number. If she says no, just say no worries. No need to over complicate things.
 

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
1,472
0
Tenks laying down some knowledge. "I'll be at your roller derby" and not showing up is gold.

I think the best move is just call her a few days after your last session. The bold move of asking her in person is totally fine, I think, but you have to be completely comfortable with it for it to work, which you are not.

In reality, chances are she doesn't give a shit about you because she's just doing her job. The other problem with women like that, who have a way with guys that makes them feel special, is that she's doing it to everyone, which makes everyone else think she digs them. The result is women like that get asked out a billion times a second. Competition is through the roof, but it's not based on factors that would make her an actual good partner. It says nothing of her character whatsoever. They just have exceptional social skills. They could be a complete loser in every other area of life. So your game has to be ultra solid, and other areas of your life have to look good, yet all she's done is be charming. You end up contributing a disproportionate amount to the relationship. It's the female version of the guy with good game.

It's the same with really hot girls. I'd rather date a 7 who is level headed and smart who has to work for what she has and understands that part of life than a 10 who just gets handed everything and really doesn't have any need to not be a terrible person. I see these chicks at the gym in their hooker outfits that have like 10 dudes a day talking to them. Yea I'd kill a 4 year old to fuck one of them, but if you turn your hormones off and think rationally, it's nonsense. If you want to date her, you're gonna have to put a lot more on the table than her because she is simply more desireable than you on the surface. If you just want to get laid, why put in the effort when you can fuck a 7 with 10% of the work?

I don't know what happened. God damn I'm negative lately
 

Voyce

Shit Lord Supreme
<Donor>
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TL;DR: Chased out of house by boyfriend wielding a chef knife

Ok, so about 2 weeks ago I posted up on CL looking to get laid. A decent looking chick, not hot, but about a 7, responded. She wanted to meet that night, told her I couldn't, but I'd be able to maybe the day after. The next day I texted her, said I wanted to meet, told me she was down, but I couldn't stay long. I told her I'd be at her place at 7. It's kinda a blizzard out, so I don't actually show up until 7:40. She tells me to be quiet because her neighbors are light sleepers... She has me grab her tit and puts my hand down her panties to prove I'm not a cop... She takes off her pants and we make some small talk. tells me a sob story about how she's a single mom and doesn't have money to pay the rent due next week. Looking at her, I think it's more likely she's into drugs, but whatever, I think, that's what condoms are for. She takes off her shirt, panties, and asks for the money. I hand it to her... asks if I want a blowjob, she says she'll do whatever I want. I tell her to lay down on her stomach and I start rubbing her back. I do this for about 2-3 minutes, I take off her bra, I strip down to my underwear. I hear some shuffling downstairs, and figure it's just her neighbors. Then the door to the bedroom opens... it's some scrawny ass dude, looks like a stoner, I look up and I'm like oh what the fuck.

He's all like What the fuck, starts yelling at the girl... she says "oh my god" and gets up, grabs her clothes and disappears towards the bathroom. I'm thinking, oh hey, this is a really fucking common scam. They yell at each other for a bit, he tells her that he's going to call the cops on her... then he turns to me and is like "wtf are you doing in my house, don't you realize there is a little girl sleeping downstairs (whore told me that her daughter was at a neighbors which is why we couldn't be long). Tells me to get dressed and get the fuck out of his house... starts trying to guilt trip me by saying things like "can't you get pussy on your own without paying for it?" Anyways, I'm pretty calm at this point... I am a little bit pissed off on losing any money, but I'd make it back in less than 3 hours of work, so it's not like it was a huge sum of lost cash... but still I'm feeling a little pissed, just because I feel like I just got scammed and I figure the bitch is locked in the bathroom with my money and I'm not going to fight some dude in his house even if I'm bigger than him, it's not worth it. So I get dressed, and I'm just talking to the guy and I'm like "I just want my money back and I'll leave" and he's like "just get out or I'm going to call the cops for tresspassing" I retort, "I'd rather spend a day in jail for admitting to prostitution rather than just handing over my money without a fight, I'll go down, but she'll suffer too" But anyways, I realize I'm pretty much up shit creek without a paddle.

So I am all dressed, and I start walking towards the exit... I go to pound on the bathroom door just to fucking call her a bitch... I don't plan on breaking it down or anything, just to vent some frusteration....

To my surprise, the bathroom door opens up when I bang on it... A) It didn't have a lock at all, B) She hadn't even shut it completely. I get in the bathroom and shut the door behind me... I see her and I immediately get super pissed... I start yelling at her to give me my money or I'll fucking kill her. She tries to force her way past me and I push her back and block the door, boyfriend tries to open door, but I'm in the way, I yell at him that I'll kill her if he keeps trying. I start yelling at her just give me my fucking money and I'll fucking go... she says she doesn't have it... that it's in the bedroom in her jeans pocket still... I tell the boyfriend to go get the money and give it back to me... I hear him walking down the door, I hear him come back, he says he's got the money, just take it and go... I tell him to push it under the door...

Money slides under the door, I pick it up, shove it in my pocket, throw open the door, and shove my way past the boyfriend standing in the doorway... he goes into the bathroom, his girlfriend is laying on the ground, crying... I'm walking out the front door hurried, just because A) I'm pissed, and really didn't want to stick around... but I hear someone walk out behind me and it's the boyfriend and he's carrying like an 8" long chef knife... This is like a residential neighborhood of cleveland, suburban area... there were like 3-4 people out on the street shoveling their driveways from the snow from earlier, and miraculously there is a city snow plow literally 10 feet away from me driving by, I start waving my hands and yelling help to attract attention, and the plow stops... the boyfriend is still walking towards me, looking pissed, I'm walking backwards, about 5 feet from my car... He gets about close enough where he could lunge at me, and stops... He says "give me the money back and I'll let you go" I tell him "what the fuck are you going to do, stab me over 200 bucks with 5 people watching? He's just like "fuck you" and turns around and starts walking back to his house...

I hop in my car, start driving away....

My heart is racing about 200bpm. Fucking adrenaline through the roof... and I have seen near miss mid-air collisions with airplanes before, this was beyond that. I'm thinking hell... at least I got some thrill out of being scammed...

I pull the cash out of my pocket and I'm putting it away then I notice that he shorted me a 50 and a 20... He'd only given me back 130 of my 200. When he put it under the door I didn't notice because the 20s were folded under 50... I didn't think to count it when I was in the bathroom, but he obviously didn't care about her safety that much, because hell I'd probably have fucking went ballistic had I counted it and realized that they were STILL trying to scam me.

But the more I thought about it, the less things made sense, if they had organized it to scam me, why didn't the boyfriend come in sooner, instead of after his girlfriend was completely naked and I had my hands all over her for a few minutes, also if they were just trying to scam me, why do it from their house, instead of a skeezy hotel or my place... Then I realized, he really just is a deadbeat druggie asshole boyfriend and she really was just a prostitute looking for a nice guy like she claimed... and I pushed her to the ground and threatened to kill her.
Probably a direct rip from a tv serial, but still awesome. I guess it could be true, awesome if true. Would hang out with you.