I suppose I can go ahead and break it down. Gambled away my rent money and a bunch more (again, altho it's been a while since I actually gambled away my rent money instead of just spending money, i've done it a lot of times in the past).
Pretty much tired of going nowhere in life. I made too many shitty choices when I was young, closed too many doors. Now i'm stuck with the same couple shitty choices which leaves me starting off down the same shitty trail every time I try to start my life over and ending up at the same shitty destination. After 10+ years of repeating the same cycle and self-destructing (i'm really good at it at this point) i'm starting to realize that i'm never going to get myself out of the loop I put myself in.
Spent a couple weeks homeless last February (probably 4th time I had been homeless) and seriously considered jumping off the 7 story parking garage down by where all the homeless hung out but ya know, 7 stories might not do the trick, so I didn't.
Not saying i'ma kill myself this time but i'm definitely gonna be homeless again and honestly I don't know if I care to get out of it this time. There have pretty much been two seperate things I've wanted for the past 15ish years and I still can't make up my mind on which one I want (not going to go in to details on what they are). I've always been terrible at making decisions that actually matter...
Anyways, starting to lose my train of thought and just sort of rambling so i'ma stop now. Gotta get ready for work anyways.