There's a pub that I go to maybe once a month or once every other month when I feel like grabbing food and a beer after work. There's a waitress that's always in there that I flirt with because she's busts my balls and usually gives me a free beer if I order more than one. I went in today because I left work a little early.
Her- Where you been, handsome?! This keg of pisswater is about to go bad because you're the only sucker that drinks it!
Me- Well every time I come in here, you guys have FUCKING GOLF on the TV and it takes me a month or two to forget and come back in again. Why don't you guys put boxing or UFC or something on?
Her- we're actually not allowed to have violent stuff on TV anymore.
Me- is that a company policy or.....?
Her - yea, apparently this is a "family establishment" and the owners got tired of people complaining about violence on the TV.
Me- my 4 year old daughter watches ufc with me.
Her- yea, well, the world is full of fucking pussies and we need their money.
I busted up laughing and she gave me a fistbump, so I gave her a fat tip.
Related, pic of me and my girl from Saturday (watching Roxy fight like....Roxy fights)