What tickles your pickle

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Bandwagon

Bandwagon

Kolohe
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I think this is my favorite thing I've ever posted in here.

Coworker: Hey [Bandwagon], who's your dentist?

Me: [so and so], and a ~4 minute conversation about experiences & costs

Coworker: Sweet, I think I'm going to give them a call in the morning. I've got a tooth that's been giving me problems. I really like my dentist right now, but I'm thinking I should probably find a new one.

Me: Why? Is he retiring or something?

Coworker: Nah, my wife just ran his wife over with the car on accident and it's not exactly.....uh.....resolved yet.
 
  • 12Worf
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Bandwagon

Bandwagon

Kolohe
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Portland coworker has a good idea what type of music I like so she always sends me new stiff she finds. She sent me a video this morning....


Not the fucking face I want to see or voice i want to hear at 630am.
20220127_063502.jpg


I sent her this and haven't heard back since. Lol
 
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  • 1Harrow
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Hoss

Hoss

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Bandwagon said:
Portland coworker has a good idea what type of music I like so she always sends me new stiff she finds. She sent me a video this morning....
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It wants to fuck you.

(Being that it's portland and watching trannies on tiktok, I don't trust your use of "she")
 
Bandwagon

Bandwagon

Kolohe
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Hoss said:
It wants to fuck you.

(Being that it's portland and watching trannies on tiktok, I don't trust your use of "she")
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She's pretty damn cute and has been texting me late night/early morning more and more lately. I was wondering about that just this morning. She was telling me yesterday that her husband was mad at the home inspector because he gave the husband a note pad and said to start jotting down stuff he rattles off as a "honey-do" list. I guess her husband has never used a power tool in his life, so for some reason that pissed him off.

Then after I got to work, she asked me if I could make a coffee table for her housewarming gift. I think she's crossing into her 30s and suddenly wanting a man instead of a boy. They're moving out of Portland and talking about kids now.
Screenshot_20220127-134905_Teams.jpg
 
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  • 1Harrow
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Kirun

Kirun

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Bandwagon said:
She's pretty damn cute and has been texting me late night/early morning more and more lately. I was wondering about that just this morning. She was telling me yesterday that her husband was mad at the home inspector because he gave the husband a note pad and said to start jotting down stuff he rattles off as a "honey-do" list. I guess her husband has never used a power tool in his life, so for some reason that pissed him off.

Then after I got to work, she asked me if I could make a coffee table for her housewarming gift. I think she's crossing into her 30s and suddenly wanting a man instead of a boy. They're moving out of Portland and talking about kids now.
View attachment 395259
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LOL looks like you get to do all her "honey-do" list bullshit now. With the added benefit of not being able to fuck her. Sounds like a total win!
 
  • 4Worf
Reactions: 3 users
Bandwagon

Bandwagon

Kolohe
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Kirun said:
LOL looks like you get to do all her "honey-do" list bullshit now. With the added benefit of not being able to fuck her. Sounds like a total win!
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Negative. She lives 5 hours away.

And who said I can't fuck her? My coworker/lesbian ufc party buddy went to hang with her and her husband 2 months ago and said they were talking about me because I'm funny. They showed her husband a picture of me and he said "Oh, he's cute".

So I could probably fuck her husband, at least.
 
  • 5Worf
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Bandwagon

Bandwagon

Kolohe
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Hoss said:
Score!

But she wants to fuck you for sure. Don't be the beta orbiter who just makes her shit and never gets his wick dipped.
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No way, buddy. I like my job and I don't need the drama. I can bang non-coworkers if my balls get too full, as I often remind my wife.


Kirun said:
Hell yeah dude, give him a good tugger and show his wife what she's missing.
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Maybe I could ask him if he can wear his wife's clothes while we're doing it. Really blow everyone's mind...
 
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Hoss

Hoss

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Bandwagon said:
No way, buddy. I like my job and I don't need the drama. I can bang non-coworkers if my balls get too full, as I often remind my wife.
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You don't seem to understand. You've already LITERALLY raped her 1000x according to portland law. Might as well bust a nut in her too and try to bring another bandwagon into the world.
 
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 1 user
Aamry

Aamry

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Bandwagon said:
She's pretty damn cute and has been texting me late night/early morning more and more lately. I was wondering about that just this morning. She was telling me yesterday that her husband was mad at the home inspector because he gave the husband a note pad and said to start jotting down stuff he rattles off as a "honey-do" list. I guess her husband has never used a power tool in his life, so for some reason that pissed him off.

Then after I got to work, she asked me if I could make a coffee table for her housewarming gift. I think she's crossing into her 30s and suddenly wanting a man instead of a boy. They're moving out of Portland and talking about kids now.
View attachment 395259
Click to expand...

"You can pay for wood"

Coming on a bit strong, aren't ya Bandwagon?
 
  • 4Worf
Reactions: 3 users
Void

Void

BAU BAU
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Bandwagon said:
Y'all fucking with me. Now I can't even tell what's innuendo and what's not.
View attachment 395273
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The most important thing we need to know is how she reacts to your daily turd shenanigans. Does she laugh along with your exploits? Do you serenade her with your turd haikus and she thinks you are hilarious? Does she wish her husband could drop a manly deuce of your caliber?

If a woman likes your poop stories, I'm pretty sure she wants the D.
 
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Bandwagon

Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
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Void said:
The most important thing we need to know is how she reacts to your daily turd shenanigans. Does she laugh along with your exploits? Do you serenade her with your turd haikus and she thinks you are hilarious? Does she wish her husband could drop a manly deuce of your caliber?

If a woman likes your poop stories, I'm pretty sure she wants the D.
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I'm somewhere in her top-3 favorite coworkers. I'm pretty sure I was solidly in the #1 slot, then we hired an adorable lesbian nerd and now she's all of our favorites.
Women like it when you call them on their bullshit. Subconsciously, at least. (Less so when you call them a 'cunt' 8 times in the process, but we're not allowed to do that at work anyways so I've avoided that landmine thus far).

And I've told her that women aren't allowed to fart or poop in my house. That's the extent of our poop convos.
 
  • 1Harrow
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Void

Void

BAU BAU
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Bandwagon said:
I'm somewhere in her top-3 favorite coworkers. I'm pretty sure I was solidly in the #1 slot, then we hired an adorable lesbian nerd and now she's all of our favorites.
Women like it when you call them on their bullshit. Subconsciously, at least. (Less so when you call them a 'cunt' 8 times in the process, but we're not allowed to do that at work anyways so I've avoided that landmine thus far).

And I've told her that women aren't allowed to fart or poop in my house. That's the extent of our poop convos.
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She must not sit close to the bathroom then? Because I think some of your "poop convos" are unavoidable, at least from the fabulous retelling of your exploits.

Seriously though, we just want to live out our fantasies through our fictional versions of your life! I work with two women and about twenty dudes. The one woman outweighs me by a solid amount, and the other I've known since she was 15 (she's 36 now, 4 kids, and a crazy conspiracy theorist, but still my friend). My work fantasy escapades are nonexistent.
 
Bandwagon

Bandwagon

Kolohe
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She works on the other side of the state. The nerdy lesbian is the one that works in my office, but she's one of the bros so I warn her when she's about to walk into a bathroom I blew up.
 
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