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Kolohe
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The (legitimately) hottest one told me she doesn't shave her armpits. lol
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What tickles your pickle
- Thread starter Kreugen
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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A portland woman who doesn't shave? This is my surprised face. I bet her cooch is at least trimmed though.
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Kolohe
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No dude. I just got a picture of it 20 minutes ago as she's driving back to Portland.
Help me, little baby jesus, help me just say no to hippie thotts.
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Seems like every time i go to Lowes i end having to take a shit. I don't know if its sniffing the PVC glue in the plumbing isle or the fertilizer but without fail i have to shit within 5 minutes of entering the damn place. So i snake down between the water heaters and the storm doors to the back office corridor where the bathrooms are and, per usual, only one of the 5 stalls was sanitary enough not to need a hazmat. It wasn't the handicap stall with enough room to keep your knees off the walls. sadface. Drop my duce, use enough single ply to paper a roof, wash my hands and leave. I'm not even past the water heaters when i hear the door slam open and some shmuck that walked in behind me go JESUS FUCKING COUGH-COUGH-WRETCH.
Pickle tickled.
Pickle tickled.
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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So start working on that consent. Tell her your internet bros from a private forum don't believe she's got a wild bush.
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Kolohe
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My wife and my lesbian coworker almost have her talked into starting an OnlyFans, since she was already thinking about it. I'll be sure to edit my post if that happens.
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Void
BAU BAU
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I hope she realizes the big bucks aren't gonna roll in until she shaves those pits. Bush could go either way, there are some weird fuckers out there (and many of them post here).My wife and my lesbian coworker almost have her talked into starting an OnlyFans, since she was already thinking about it. I'll be sure to edit my post if that happens.
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Kolohe
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Honestly I think she's just an exhibitionist. She gets paid well at work. This girl is a fucking wild one. I'd already look like her chew toy if she'd found me in my 20s, but I know better now. I think.
She has the same name as my daughter and asked me an hour ago "Can I call you daddy?". I said "Fuck no you can't, you can make me a sandwich and keep your mouth shut". She's a rah-rah MEN SUCK! kind of girl so I was just trying to needle her, but she replied with "Save that attitude for the next visit". I think this fucking girl is beating me at my hobby right now
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Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Kolohe
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15 red flags a minute. I think I've witnessed a unicorn.
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Void
BAU BAU
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I don't really pay attention to what people say about their real lives, but I assume you are married, putting you well out of reach. Even if not, you're clearly filling that hole that most women have of secretly desiring the guy that doesn't put up with their shit and calls them out on it. Particularly with that sandwich comment. If you had replied that it would be super hot if she called you daddy, she likely would have lost a bit of her attraction for you. But you're that "safe" guy that she knows won't give in to her so she can be a complete slut while never actually having to pay the slut toll. It makes her feel attractive and desirable, without ever having to be sullied by the "nasty males" that she claims to despise but likely secretly has rape fantasies about.
Not that you and everyone else reading haven't already figured that out, I just felt like spelling it out because this is like a textbook case. And is kind of up there with some of the fantasies most of us old dudes probably have too. Who doesn't want a hot young girl sending them nudes and flirting with them? Even though the moment you actually tried to act upon it she'd probably lose interest, it is still stimulating.
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Kolohe
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True about women in general and plenty true about me specifically in some spots...but I've always noticed this and assumed it's because I treat women just like I treat men. I joke, converse and debate with them the same as I do with guys, and I tell them to their face that they're saying some retarded shit when they say retarded shit, same as I do with guys. At least at the age I'm at now, it "works". I'm really not trying to fuck this girl, but we work together a lot and she's fun. I piss off pretty much every woman I work over the course of the first few interactions because I'm not a thirsty soyboy feminist and I always tell them shit like "He's not interrupting you because you're a woman or because he's sexist, it's because he interrupts fucking everyone everyday and you'd notice that too if you weren't so blinded by your hatred of all men."
Everyone knows that women have some sort of instinctual attraction to men that push back on their bullshit, but that's not unique to women. All of us like it when people we respect show us appreciation when it's deserved, help when it's needed, and blunt truths when they're called for. That's what a friend is, and the difference between men and women in this regard isn't that women are attracted to disagreeableness and men aren't. I think it's because men tend to have friends that bust balls and deliver those blunt truths non stop, but women all think that a friend is supposed to support and stand by you "no matter what". Bullshit friend dynamics. We need our trusted relationships to act as bumpers and let us know when we're fucking up. Women don't get that as often because their friends won't say what needs to be said and thirsty soyboys have been trained to act the same way.
That's a long ramble where I was trying to explain that she likes be because I'm "authentic" without sounding like I was humble bragging, but maybe I made it worse. But I do think it's true. I don't like it when women shower me with compliments or support for the same reason. I need honesty, not an ego boost.
Sidenote - The bush shot she sent me, I shit you not, was sent with a message that said "You're right, sorry. Here's my apology" because she got all serious all of the sudden and wanted to lay some ground rules, but then got pissed that I was still joking around. I told her that she needs to feather the brakes before making a hard left turn and that if this is something that's serious enough to prompt a record skip in a shit-talking text conversation, it's serious enough to talk about in person while face to face. I think I left her with "We can put all this on ice for awhile and we'll just grab a beer next time you're in town". Then I got a bushy apology.
She really is fun as fuck to work with and hang out with, but she's the epitome of "don't stick your dick in crazy". I'm also not sure yet how much my woman would get along with her, since one is max-introvert and the other is max-extrovert.
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Kolohe
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You're just about the last dude on this forum that I'd indulge, Brian Peppers.
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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I am very offended by this comment. Hahaha, no not really. I don't give a rat's ass. But, I AM way more handsome than that fellow.
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Kolohe
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Whelp. Home Base Mission Control gave a green light. Wish me luck boys. I'm going in. (Maybe she'll teach my wife how to cook and do laundry)
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Kolohe
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