Whats rustling your jimmies?

EATS IS NOT A NOUN. YOU ARE 45 FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

I have a fever of 102 and have been coughing and hacking so hard I've pulled muscles in my ribs. Rustled.

gshurik said:

So I do game giveaways on Reddit, and it fucks me off that some guy has been constantly creating new accounts to message me and complain every fucking time he doesn't win. I give a clear instruction of "pick a number between 1-1000 and I'll roll a random number on random.org". He seems to think that seeing as he's been in like 10 of my giveaways he's statistically guaranteed to have gotten a game by now and is getting more and more irate.

What the actual fuck, you try to do something nice for people and spastics like that have to ruin it and piss you off.

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Why you not giving games away here instead bro

I'll fucking PM you don't make me do it

Decided I didn't want to cook tonight and just order something on post-mates.

Order some pad thai. Check my app 20 minutes later "We apologize but your order has been canceled. You card has not been charged"

oookay. Guess I'll order some tikka masala from this other place. 20 minutes later "We apologize but your order has been canceled. Your card has not been charged."

Rustled. Fine I'll just order a cold cut sandwhich from this Deli. 20 minutes later "We apologize but"

Oh fuck you. Might as well just cook something now.

Have 6 cameras at our house, UPS marked my wife's package as delivered... check cameras never delivered. Turns out their GPS shows the driver dropped it off a street over, at a house where the numeric don't even match. Of course home owners deny receiving package.

DethBreth said:

Have 6 cameras at our house, UPS marked my wife's package as delivered... check cameras never delivered. Turns out their GPS shows the driver dropped it off a street over, at a house where the numeric don't even match. Of course home owners deny receiving package.

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Local police with the info about gps confirmed drop off. Make someone else's day as bad as yours.

My brother-in-law's fat careless lazy idiot stepchildren. Youngest, fattest and worst, asks to play boardgame. I found something cool and she's like "Let's play on floor because there's stuff on the table."
I tell her and brother both to instead clear the tables. It's just paper plates etc that's tossable and no spillage on the actual table.
The guys each grab stuff. She gets a slice of cherry pie and starts eating it in the play area - note: we were only clearing one side and she could have ate it on the other.
"What? I'll finish by the time y'all are done." She said.
Time management skills aside, she should have cleared.
And guess what
Cherry goo on multiple parts of the playing field, and floor.
I grabbed paper towels and then heard, "You want to go outside girl?"
"NOO" I shouted as she let's my 1yo dog out the front door facing a busy road.
Dog bolts, smelling and chasing everything.
Talk about pissed and 30 minutes in the cold wasted.
"I didn't know." She said as she absent mindedly turned on and off a maglight she found.

This morning I found the light outside on the ground with a bulb broken.

Text in-law and get his hick of a wife/gf and she's like "I know what you mean. We get on her for being messy all the time. Instead of putting away their dishes, she and her brother both will stick them under the couch."
She continued on like I was bringing it up for conversion.
Then she said, " Do you want us to get you another bulb? It shouldn't cost too much and you're closer to the store than we are. We really are sorry though, they just don't listen."

" It's not about the bulb or being messy. It's about taking care of things not belonging to you. About responsibility," I texted her.

"I know what you mean," she responded.

Rustled... Why bother

a c i d.f l y said:

Finding out about the death of a family member via Facebook. Like, I thought there was some common fucking decency to wait a good God damn day or two to let the family disperse this information before flagrantly posting it all over the fucking Internet like attention starved harpies. Like, the press has more poise than those who simply post about it as just another thing that is happening in their life.

I can't even properly register the reality of the situation because it's something I just happened to read online. It's just fucking with me. Another notch in the book of "fuck Facebook".

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Maximum rustle... I too found out my best friend committed suicide on Facebook; killed himself 10 pm , and I find out eating breakfast the next morning at a restaurant.

Big Phoenix said:

The downfall of mankind, theres no longer an incentive to not be a fucking retard.

Sent a woman a message on Okcupid last night. Unique message asking about something she listed in her profile and something in a picture of hers, not some cheap pickup line I got off google. No response and instantly quasi blocked. Its not the non response thats jimmy rustling, but the why not. Did she think Im unattractive? Did she not like what the message said? Did she look at my profile and not like something I said?

Also some fucking inbred on my street got a dog in the past couple weeks. Piece of shit oxygen thieves leave the thing out all day long and it barks non fucking stop. Woke me up at 7am today from it and its been barking ever since then. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with people and dogs? Is there some genetic defect that makes people get dogs and just leave them outside all day to bark?

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Report it to the city

The dog not the woman

Well maybe the woman too

Amazon spying on my browsing habbits to jump prices or however that works. Once in a blue moon I'll check something a month or so later and price down. But very common that if I don't jump on something when I see it, give it 3 hours and price jumps $15 or more depending on base price after I've been doing additional researching etc.