Whats rustling your jimmies?

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Sevens

Log Wizard
5,779
17,514
One dessert a week and it has to be sugar free...are you trying to lose weight fast or something?

I'm a mix of rustled and amused when I see people order a shit ton of greasy fast food then get a....diet coke. That sugar free shit will mess with you!
I'm trying to change my eating habits and life style. I have done away totally with soda, I don't eat greasy fast foods anymore, hell the stuff I eat at home is now healthy shit. And yes, I purposely limit my sweet intakes to one sugar free pudding a week because I know I am a food addict, I love my trashy, greasy, heart clogging food and would happily kill my self engorging on it daily...but I have grandchildren who I would love to see grow up, I want to be there for the milestones of their life so I am doing all I can to ensure that.

I do love my Hot teas (cinnamon and apple) and my unsweet Iced Tea ( I cant stand any sweetener in my tea, has to be unsweet) much better imho than soda (though I did love my Pepsi).
 
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Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
27,195
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Easy, Easy there Grandpa. I'm just joshin' ya. Better go swap out the AAA in your ticker before you let loose another 3-line rant. Toss another volley my way after you have yourself some pudding and a nap.

This is what happens when parents are afraid to spank their children. They raise little assholes!

Spare the rod, spoil the child.
 
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Sylas

<Gold Donor>
3,666
4,196
So last night in my room, its dark, head set on, vigorously masturbating to some internet porn, when i feel something hit my chest. Look down and its some sort of creepy crawly, idk beetle or spider or something, i cant tell. My eyes arent adjusted and all my brain blood is in my dick so i freak out and jump up, dick still in hand as i turn on the lights and its a fucking centipede. I guess he was crawling across my ceiling and fell. Its not a full grown giant centipede that we have out here in japan but its at least 6 inches long. Nut is ruined, i then proceeded to vigoriously smash the mother fucker to death.

My house is right up against mountains/woods and i used to see one from time to time in my house, so i use centipede repellent and haven't had any problems since for the last 4 years I've lived here. but now the bamboo has grown over my house creating a canopy and they fall on my roof from time to time. Idk how but they found a way in.
 
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Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
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So last night in my room, its dark, head set on, vigorously masturbating to some internet porn, when i feel something hit my chest. Look down and its some sort of creepy crawly, idk beetle or spider or something, i cant tell. My eyes arent adjusted and all my brain blood is in my dick so i freak out and jump up, dick still in hand as i turn on the lights and its a fucking centipede. I guess he was crawling across my ceiling and fell. Its not a full grown giant centipede that we have out here in japan but its at least 6 inches long. Nut is ruined, i then proceeded to vigoriously smash the mother fucker to death.

My house is right up against mountains/woods and i used to see one from time to time in my house, so i use centipede repellent and haven't had any problems since for the last 4 years I've lived here. but now the bamboo has grown over my house creating a canopy and they fall on my roof from time to time. Idk how but they found a way in.

It was through the same portal God uses to watch you jerk off.
 
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Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
24,247
65,206
I've lived with women almost my entire life. 2 sisters, multiple instances of 3+ female roommates, etc. For most of that time, I've been involved in the laundry side of life. This evening, however, is the first time I have ever found a balled-up & used maxi pad in one of my gym shorts pocket. The same pockets that normally swallow up random socks in the washing machine came out with a used, balled-up maxi pad today. That's the last time I pick up the laundry pile in the bathroom.
 
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Hateyou

Not Great, Not Terrible
<Bronze Donator>
16,632
43,269
Traffic in Phoenix. Why do you always have two lanes of stopped traffic while 6” away three lanes are doing 70mph while people pull out into it constantly. I saw two cars go off the road in my first ten minutes here today due to coming up on a sudden traffic stop…which are always happening so people should fucking know. It’s been this way for at least a decade too. Learn to fucking drive Big Phoenix Big Phoenix
 

Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Gold Donor>
46,373
98,490
Traffic in Phoenix. Why do you always have two lanes of stopped traffic while 6” away three lanes are doing 70mph while people pull out into it constantly. I saw two cars go off the road in my first ten minutes here today due to coming up on a sudden traffic stop…which are always happening so people should fucking know. It’s been this way for at least a decade too. Learn to fucking drive Big Phoenix Big Phoenix
Most people who drive are 50 iq mutoids.
 
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Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
24,247
65,206
Lulz
Screenshot_20220509-204918_Message+.jpg
 
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Void

BAU BAU
<Gold Donor>
9,806
11,721
So last night in my room, its dark, head set on, vigorously masturbating to some internet porn, when i feel something hit my chest. Look down and its some sort of creepy crawly, idk beetle or spider or something, i cant tell. My eyes arent adjusted and all my brain blood is in my dick so i freak out and jump up, dick still in hand as i turn on the lights and its a fucking centipede. I guess he was crawling across my ceiling and fell. Its not a full grown giant centipede that we have out here in japan but its at least 6 inches long. Nut is ruined, i then proceeded to vigoriously smash the mother fucker to death.

My house is right up against mountains/woods and i used to see one from time to time in my house, so i use centipede repellent and haven't had any problems since for the last 4 years I've lived here. but now the bamboo has grown over my house creating a canopy and they fall on my roof from time to time. Idk how but they found a way in.
Two different times I've had a motherfucking wasp manage to get into my room somehow (through a gap in a window frame I'm assuming) and both apparently waited around until I was jerking it before making their appearances. That was scary enough, because of course it seems like they are somehow going to target only your dick. But to have a fucking centipede fall on your chest, which is way more than close enough to the dick area...I can't think of a better reason to have a heart attack. Fuck that shit.
 

Goatface

Avatar of War Slayer
9,876
15,659
nearly 6 months after having emergency gal bladder removal still getting new bills with wrong or no insurance listed.
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
27,195
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UPS, FedEx, and USPS tracking. No mention on any of them where the package is going or where it came from. Do these cock suckers have any idea how many fucking packages I have in transit when I go on a buying spree? Those emails they send are worthless.

On a related note, I just ordered a thing last night and gave them the wrong address. I don't see anywhere on the site to change the address so I call them up. After about 30 minutes in queue I get someone, she changes it, and says I'll get a confirmation email. I never got the confirmation email. But this morning I did get an email that it had shipped. But the fucking tracking number won't tell me where it shipped to and they also don't list the ship to address in the order summary. So now do I have to fucking call them back?

Fuck it, the other address was to a friend. If it goes to him I will just get it next month when I see him again.
 

Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
24,247
65,206
Our HR lady has been here for 18 years. She's kinda sorta like the mom from American Beauty, just not as obnoxious or neurotic. She's always been a good balance between the woke & rural crowds. Pretty balanced and reasonable.

She just got fired.

We had a DEI consultant last year that did a bunch of workshops and questionnaires and shit like that. I guess a bunch of people in Portland complained about her because she's not doing enough for social justice, integrating diversity into our hiring practices, etc etc.

I can't WAIT to see who replaces her.
 
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Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
24,247
65,206
They're coming for you next!
I hide nothing. I'm the same guy at work that I am here
Screenshot_20220511-193144_Message+.jpg

Screenshot_20220511-193221_Message+.jpg

90% of the ultra-woke coworkers would go to bat for me and say something like "He's not racist, he just hates the government and likes being an asshole". If I get fired, it's not going to be because of a woke purge, it'll be because I threaten to bounce someone's head off their desk or call a manager "sugartits" or something
 
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Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
27,195
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It's starting to really irritate me that people post a picture of 2 people together as think it's proof that they're in cahoots on everything. I laughed it off when it was trump, clitton, and epstien. The last one was bono with someone. As if celebs don't constantly have their picture taken with random people.

Maybe that's the joke and now that it's irritating me I hope to move quickly into enjoying it fully.
 

Goatface

Avatar of War Slayer
9,876
15,659
so guy bought house next door about a year ago, wife and kids, couple of teen, another about 5 and newborn. talked to just a bit when 1st moved in. not super friendly, but doesn't annoy me either. about 6 months, seemed to stop going to work. another neighbor seen him hanging around odd places a night. recently bought old foxbody mustang, and another harley. last week, he started wearing a Warlords mc cut. which i can't find dick all about. the site with the most info was a gta group. looked at 3 different mc pages and they all have different logos.

sorta of an update on this
neighbor and his brother in-law (who rents a house up the street) seem to be the core of the MC revival. apparently it was a local thing 70's to late 80's with over 100 members. neighbor has detached 2 car garage where they store both their bikes.
about 3 weeks ago, i am out in the yard piddling around, brother in-law is out in their yard talking loud on the phone, about someone has heat on them and someone is locked up, they need to come over and help him do something. 2 normalish looking guys show up, they all go to the garage and brother in-law takes off on his bike, they shut the door and leave. next day, see the bike parked in his yard up the street and that was last time saw it. i have not seen him either, but another neighbor said that had seen him recently.
my neighbor, had 2 harleys and dirt bike. at some point, one of the harley went away and he loaded the dirt bike up and it is gone now. not 100% he is still living in the house full time, see his family come and go, but his truck is there randomly.

anyway, more on point of this thread, he has not mowed all his yard in 3-4 weeks. someone mowed some of it about 3 weeks ago, but stopped and left the riding mower, gas can and weedeater in the middle of the yard.