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Whats rustling your jimmies?
- Thread starter Big Phoenix
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Control
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Wait, real humans with real jobs in the US don't know how many states there are? Most of the other wouldn't be that surprising even if rustling, but how many fucking states there are?
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Rajaah
Honorable Member
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Wait, what is #7? World War III? What?
I got all the other ones, easy as hell. Like how does someone not know "50 states" at least?
I deal with that almost every night. I think I sleep about four hours on average.
I keep a stock of a whole lotta drugs for emergencies. More than a few times I've needed a methampetamine bump (aka adderall) because my sleep schedule screwed me over.
Rajaah
Honorable Member
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Things rustling my jimmies:
1) All the fucking crime, it's to the point that I barely go out at night and I live in one of the less-deadly areas
2) Groceries costing me $45 today for a gallon of milk, 5x canned goods, some seafood salad, a pack of hot dogs, relish, and buns. How in the blue hell does that come out to $45?
3) Gas costing me $12 just to drive into town and back, I measured it out. Something I used to not even think about is now "man, I drove into town 8 times this week, this is gonna add up"
4) Media outlets that Can't. Stop. Fuckin'. Lying. Usually by omission, which according to Jean-Luc Picard IS STILL A LIE
1) All the fucking crime, it's to the point that I barely go out at night and I live in one of the less-deadly areas
2) Groceries costing me $45 today for a gallon of milk, 5x canned goods, some seafood salad, a pack of hot dogs, relish, and buns. How in the blue hell does that come out to $45?
3) Gas costing me $12 just to drive into town and back, I measured it out. Something I used to not even think about is now "man, I drove into town 8 times this week, this is gonna add up"
4) Media outlets that Can't. Stop. Fuckin'. Lying. Usually by omission, which according to Jean-Luc Picard IS STILL A LIE
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Brahma
Obi-Bro Kenobi-X
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1. I refuse to live like that man. But I feel you.
2. I bought two bags of groceries. 70 dollars. Meats and fruits are crazy now. How the fuck are APPLES three dollars a pound?
3. I own an eight cylinder Benz. Must use premium. My next car will be a four cylinder fuckin' go cart.
4. You just can't follow it man. Especially the politics. I stopped a decade ago. I do "research" when the candidates come up for re-election, or local shit I care about is up for vote.
Stay strong!
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Brahma
Obi-Bro Kenobi-X
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We haven't had WW3. At least you are like "WTF are you talking about Brahma"?!
Everyone says 52. Then tries to throw DC and PR in there.
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Conefed
Blackwing Lair Raider
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Public bathroom locked
knock on door, no answer
Is bathroom public? Does it need a key?
Ask front attendant. Nope. Should be unlocked.
Return.
Still locked.
Still no answer.
This social contract breaking mf, just answer. "Occupied" will suffice. Last thing somebody who needs to bio needs is uncertainty with extra steps
knock on door, no answer
Is bathroom public? Does it need a key?
Ask front attendant. Nope. Should be unlocked.
Return.
Still locked.
Still no answer.
This social contract breaking mf, just answer. "Occupied" will suffice. Last thing somebody who needs to bio needs is uncertainty with extra steps
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Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Knocked my cell phone off my desk and it cracked the screen. On the one hand it doesn't rustle me all that much as it's over 5 years old so whatever. Battery has taken a noticeable hit in the past year more than time for a new one.
On the other hand it's a note 8 with that retarded ever so slightly curved screen which is the dumbest fucking feature ever that served zero purpose other than to frustrate me the entire time I've used this phone and now as a final fuck you it was probably the weak point resulting in the crack.
On the other hand it's a note 8 with that retarded ever so slightly curved screen which is the dumbest fucking feature ever that served zero purpose other than to frustrate me the entire time I've used this phone and now as a final fuck you it was probably the weak point resulting in the crack.
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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0 thought there were something like 56 or 59. I know we're talking about citizens, so he doesn't count. But citizens voted for the idiot.Wait, real humans with real jobs in the US don't know how many states there are? Most of the other wouldn't be that surprising even if rustling, but how many fucking states there are?
Brahma
Obi-Bro Kenobi-X
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Came from the eye doctor. (FUCK ALL YOU ALL IN ADVANCE)!
My trial contacts I have been wearing for a week... I ripped them for BOTH eyes. I tried to tell them that it was it was irritating me from jump. They said I needed to get used to them.
They also charged me 200 bucks for TRAINING on how to put them in and take them out. WTF isn't this covered by my insurance?
My trial contacts I have been wearing for a week... I ripped them for BOTH eyes. I tried to tell them that it was it was irritating me from jump. They said I needed to get used to them.
They also charged me 200 bucks for TRAINING on how to put them in and take them out. WTF isn't this covered by my insurance?
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Izo
Tranny Chaser
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No and it's bullshit. I've been wearing contacts for 20+ years and still get charged for "fittings". I've worn the same damn contacts for like 10 years. They fit. Assholes.
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Fucker
Log Wizard
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I've been wearing glasses all my life. Was 20/30, 20/35. Can't see shit....although 20/25 and 20/20 now. Getting old is weird. My dad was 20/5 in both eyes for most of his adult life.
I dated a girl in college whose nickname was Mags. Short for Magoo. 20/2000 vision and her glasses were quite heavy.
GF wears glasses every know and then and I hate it when she does...she never cleans them and it triggers me a lot. Not kinda dirty, but smudged with Crisco dirty.
I moved to small town Wisconsin recently, and the air was so clean it actually made me momentarily cross-eyed.
My sister has 20/10 vision and naturally perfect teeth. Makes me sick.
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Ishad
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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I have several people at my work that go by their legal middle name instead of their first name. If I know that and go out of my way to address them by their first name I’m just being a dick for no reason.
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I have a relatively common first name that has 2 main ways to spell it. My way, which is historically correct for hundreds of years, and a faggot way that retards spell it. Not my name but imagine for a moment "John" vs "jon" or "Mark" vs "marc"
Now my name is mispelled by retards often, in emails, on forms, whatever. When i tell someone my name and they write it down, about half the time they spell it incorrectly. Since its somewhat of a pet peeve of mine, i usually spell it out for them as they are writing and even then, they still mispell it. Then act shocked like "oh you said..." yes bitch, fucking listen next time. If someone is spelling something out for you it means they judge you to be too retarded to handle it on your own, so fucking pay attention. Even people who reply to my email, who can clearly read the name, will mispell it when they address me in email.
But whatever. Its an easy way to instantly identify idiots.
So im at the dmv yesterday updating my tag. Lady requires 2 forms of ID and my car title. She holds in her hands 3 separate pieces of identifying paperwork with my name spelled out prominently, and she still mispells my name on the form she hands me to sign. Then she huffs and puffs about having to "redo" the form likes its my fucking fault that you can't read?
Bitch I have a super common american name, you're the dumbass who trying to spell it by memory or how it sounds you dumb fuck. If you can't handle "John" how the fuck do you deal with all the shaniquas and durka durkas you deal with on a daily basis? No fucking wonder you work at the dmv.
Edit: this was a little old white lady. I realize thats why it rustles me. If it were a shaniqua i would expect her to be retarded and not understand why it was her fault she had to redo the paperwork, she fucked up.
Now my name is mispelled by retards often, in emails, on forms, whatever. When i tell someone my name and they write it down, about half the time they spell it incorrectly. Since its somewhat of a pet peeve of mine, i usually spell it out for them as they are writing and even then, they still mispell it. Then act shocked like "oh you said..." yes bitch, fucking listen next time. If someone is spelling something out for you it means they judge you to be too retarded to handle it on your own, so fucking pay attention. Even people who reply to my email, who can clearly read the name, will mispell it when they address me in email.
But whatever. Its an easy way to instantly identify idiots.
So im at the dmv yesterday updating my tag. Lady requires 2 forms of ID and my car title. She holds in her hands 3 separate pieces of identifying paperwork with my name spelled out prominently, and she still mispells my name on the form she hands me to sign. Then she huffs and puffs about having to "redo" the form likes its my fucking fault that you can't read?
Bitch I have a super common american name, you're the dumbass who trying to spell it by memory or how it sounds you dumb fuck. If you can't handle "John" how the fuck do you deal with all the shaniquas and durka durkas you deal with on a daily basis? No fucking wonder you work at the dmv.
Edit: this was a little old white lady. I realize thats why it rustles me. If it were a shaniqua i would expect her to be retarded and not understand why it was her fault she had to redo the paperwork, she fucked up.
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Names are individual by definition and serve a different functionality than pronouns. This is a strawman.
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