Whats rustling your jimmies?

Siliconemelons said:

They say you marry your mom… my wife is my dad 90percent..

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Bigger or smaller package though?

OK kids, grab snacks and settle in, it's time for "Story Time with Pissed Off Haus" (skip to the bottom for the TLDR)

I have had a medical condition which will cause me to occasionally get a cyst here or there. Been dealing with it for years. But since the cycle is "cyst forms, cyst bursts before I can get an appointment with dr, Dr says she can't do a lot of analysis without having a sample from it" it's been rustling my jimmies for a while. Once in the past I had the remnants of one of the big ones surgically removed, that was also rustling, but the surgeon was great (that comes back into play here in a second)
This week I have one come up, but it doesn't "come to a head", so I call my dr. , miracle of modern miracles she can get me in the next morning early. I go in, she takes one look and is immediately "Let me text the surgeon who handled the last one, that's too close to a couple important nerves and an artery for me to want to have a go at it." So we're finally going to get one we can get a proper biopsy/culture from, but I'll have to schedule it. She calls in a prescription for an antibiotic and I leave.
While driving home my Dr calls me. "She's doing her surgeries today at the hospital up in Plano, head up there, check in at the emergency room, she's expecting you". Hot damn. I'm thinking this might end up being a story in the pickle tickle thread! Swing by the house and grab Mrs. Haus and head up there.
I get there and check in, And the put me in a room. One of the emergency room Dr's comes in to take a look/poke at it. Sure enough, they poke and it decides it's time to blow it's wad. The Dr is just ready to clean me up and call it a day. I have to TELL THEM to get a wound culture kit and collect a culture. They then screw around with things until it gets too late for the surgeon to work me in. So they tell me I'll need to spend the night and get it taken care of in the morning.
But I explain to them that "since it's now drained itself I don't even really need the surgery. I know the pattern. Once drained, it's nasty for a day or two, then a hard lump which heals up." They insist that since it's an infection I need to stay overnight for IV antibiotics, and discuss with the surgeon in the morning. I figure one night of the IV can't hurt. Don't get shit for sleep, IV insertion was a damn 4" long prong into a vein that hurts the whole time I have it and nobody there gives a single shit when this fact is brought up. They also decide that since the surgeon might still want to do the surgery (even though she already said on the phone that if it's drained there no need) I can't eat or drink water after midnight.
Next morning hits... the Dr on rounds comes in and tells me that yeah, I definitely need to stay in the hospital for 3 days of IV antibiotics. I tell him the bolded/underlined bit above. He takes off, they still have 2 other specialists I need to talk to, end up spending most all of Saturday there. And could have easily buttoned up and left Friday just after dinner..

TLDR : Haus thinks the vast majority of medical professionals are idiots.

Palum said:

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I only wish it were...
This whole "Mystery cyst" nonsense has been a question I've asked of my otherwise fantastic primary care physician since it started and she still hasn't solved.

Izo said:

Sounds like the cyst/abscess was close to vital tissue. Thus iv ab was warranted. I donno, Haus , is it possible you're a big baby, iv cath pain? Pyoderma gangrenosum, mebbe.

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The IV wasn't some debilitating pain, but it was a constant nagging stinging (even when the IV wasn't attached/flowing). So simply rustling the jimmies. In the end the fact that it opened and expressed it's goop on it's own. It's following the pattern I have had with these for years now. Now 36 or so hours post drainage it's a slightly swollen area with no redness and a forming small hard lump. Which I am used to. My Primary care Dr, and the surgeon both knew this. It ended up feeling a lot like the hospital staff and staff physician was trying to find things to justify keeping me around for a few days. Either way, home and healing up now. I'll schedule time with the surgeon later to talk about if she feels the remaining cystic structure needs to be removed.

As for what they look like, and current theories with my Dr, they aren't as "ulcerous" as that condition you postulated, they closely resemble sebaceous cysts, but end up filled with a nasty combination of puss/blood when they drain/open, but don't have the contents normally associated with sebaceous cysts. In the end I'm just happy to have finally gotten a culture of the discharge and hoping that provides a clue when the thing finished culturing in a couple days.

The thing rustling the jimmies today is that apparently my W key on my keyboard is dying.. So I'm back to "normal" things for me to whine about.