I think you may have misunderstood exactly what she was going to blow to get back at you.
That's what I was thinking when I first read it too. She's gunna blow 5k dudes.
Latest rustle. Last weekend we volunteered to take care of some horses that were displaced by all the flooding in south texas. When we got there, they told us the horses were all 'feral'. It was me, my wife and my other in law. M-I-L has been raising and training horses for over 40 years. My wife has been doing it for probably over 20 (I know they had horses since before she was a teenager). My horse experience is a week spent at a dude ranch. Not working the ranch, just on vacation there. I actually just tagged along with them because my wife loves horses so I wanted to learn a little bit. I went in knowing full well I was only barely qualified to muck the stalls, but willing to learn.
So the drill was that 1 person would walk the horse while the other 2 cleaned the stalls. First horse, the people who were there all the time had a hell of a time getting the halter on, but my mother in law went in and got it on in about 10 seconds once she figured out how this kind of halter worked. So she went walking, the horse tried to rear up and she stopped it when the lady in charge saw it and went apeshit. She declared no women were allowed to lead the horses around cause they were too dangerous. I mean, I can kind of understand not wanting a 70 year old lady to deal with unknown horses, but they all looked at me like I needed to go on the walks and I said "Fuck no. If those horses are too dangerous for the experienced hands, there's no way in hell I'm doing it!" A man's got to know his limitations, after all. So another dude who was about half my size walked the first one. I watched him. As little as I know about horses I knew he was doing it wrong. Honestly, he was so bad off that he didn't even know what he didn't know. The horses were going crazy on him, he was not controlling the head and was directly in front of the horse where the horse could bite him or run him over if it bolted. He also wan't smart enough to avoid walking behind the horses. I asked him how much experience he had with horses and he said he had dogs. He volunteered because he wanted to learn about horses. OK great, me too. That's why I'm cleaning the stalls with my mother in law because when she gets around horses, she just shits knowledge.
My wife and this dude switch off walking the horses since that is obviously all he really wants to do. In hindsight, I probably should have had my wife teach him how to walk them safely. Everytime I saw him out there, the horses were fighting him and trying to bolt. Everytime I looked at my wife out there doing it, the horse was under control. Fortunately he never got hurt while we were there, so whatever.
About 3 hours in after we'd done about 20 horses, my wife is leading a very young one back to his stall when a douchebag comes up behind the horse, slaps it on the ass and yells at it. It spooks the horse and my wife gets caught between the horse and fence and almost loses the horse. Then the douchebag says "SEE THAT'S WHY WOMEN SHOUDN'T BE LEADING THE HORSES"
Really motherfucker? No women because you're a dumbass? You need to work on your root cause analysis skills. What good would it have done if I'd had the fucking reigns? Would the horse have not been spooked because my dick was wrapped around it's neck? No, odds are if me or that other dude had had the reigns, you would have been chasing down a horse that got loose. The thing that rustled me the most is that I didn't see it. I only heard the shout, slap, and crash; no one would point out to me who had done it.
The best part is that my mother in law doesn't even think the horses were as feral as they claimed. She said she could tell by their backs that they weren't just out in the pasture running free all the time. They may not have been worked much, but they had been trained. Odds are they were just scared and cranky from being flooded and then moved hundreds of miles away and then having to put up with these assholes. The owner showed up towards the end and I saw how he acted with the horses. He was more like my wife and mother in law than the other assholes. He was gentle, cooed at them and coaxed them. He did not beat, scare, or drag them around.
Damn that was long but it feels good to get it off my chest.
