Why do men keep putting me in the Girlfriend-zone?

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!

Tanoomba

ジョーディーすれいやー
<Banned>
10,170
1,439
Only you can be the judge of that. begging the question turns off my boner though unless there is a humour to it. It is a bigger turn off when someone doesn't know when to get off their high horse.
Well, far be it from me to turn off your boner.
Anyway, as I said,I'mhaving fun. I honestly don't even mind losing an argument when it's a game well played, although most of the "other" side hasn't been playing very well thus far.

Who's on their high horse? I've actually been extra careful not to be too brash, sarcastic or condescending since I provoked an unexpected negative reactive for a comment a while back. Still, I know what my whole life experience tells me to be true, and I'm not going to let some random, intentionally abrasive ass (that part's important) tell me that my friends aren't friends. I'm only human; as much as anonymity gives people the opportunity to be complete fuckwads, I may still be susceptible to saying things I wouldn't necessarily say in person to someone. Do I regret some of it? Sure. I don't think I should have made that "your mother" remark to the guy who asked me about forehead kisses, since it was later pointed out to me IRL that the question wasn't necessarily a mocking jab at my manlihood, which I initially interpreted it as being. In any case, the only reason this conversation is still going is because I (and the people who are in similar situations) refuse to let other people tell us that what we are experiencing in our lives is an impossibility.

I'm a teacher. It's my job to get points across to minds that aren't necessarily in the most receptive state. Yes, some of these guys aren't exactly the best "students" but that's what's part of the fun, especially since there's no consequence for failing. This is the "bonus game" of teaching: See if you can get a bunch of random, close-minded, misogynistic insecure-in-their-own-masculinity schmucks to admit that it's possible for men and women to be friends. I don't expect to get the "3-up" bonus here, but I'm also not gonna just leave the controller on the floor and give up because it's too hard. I'm a gamer.

Let's game.
 

Tanoomba

ジョーディーすれいやー
<Banned>
10,170
1,439
Only you can be the judge of that. begging the question turns off my boner though unless there is a humour to it. It is a bigger turn off when someone doesn't know when to get off their high horse.
Wait a second... why are you spelling "humour" the Canadian way? Hell, I'm Canadian and I don't even spell it that way... weirdo.
 

TrollfaceDeux

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Bronze Donator>
19,577
3,743
In any case, the only reason this conversation is still going is because I (and the people who are in similar situations) refuse to let other people tell us that what we are experiencing in our lives is an impossibility.
nah. that's not how I viewed it.
 

TrollfaceDeux

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Bronze Donator>
19,577
3,743
ask the mod to take away my neg away bro and pos me. you said you'd give me one for my triumph.
 

TrollfaceDeux

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Bronze Donator>
19,577
3,743
Criticism against the crackedarticle:
http://goodmenproject.com/men-and-fe...m-on-misogyny/

Highlight:
Seriously, this is SO misandric. Apparently men will not be motivated to do anything unless you bribe them with pussy for it like a five-year-old given a cookie to be quiet at the mall. The joy of creation, the rush of adventure, the endless hell of insecurity that nothing you achieve will ever prove wrong, even the desire for a fuckload of money in the bank- nope. Men know not these things! Men do great things because pussy. That's it.

Simultaneously, he's managed the dubious feat of making his feminist article incredibly misogynistic. DID YOU KNOW that women aren't great architects? Or sports stars? Or musicians? Or actors? I mean, men only do it because they're bribed with pussy to do so. But women can get cock whenever they like! So they really have no motivation to pursue art if they can already get laid. (Presumably queers don't achieve great things either.)
relevant movie that's coming up.
 

Tanoomba

ジョーディーすれいやー
<Banned>
10,170
1,439
ask the mod to take away my neg away bro and pos me. you said you'd give me one for my triumph.
Don't get antsy, bro. Once it gets "spread around" again, you'll get yours (assuming you don't say anything stupid in the meantime).


Yup, this is actually a problem I had with the article too. I'm surprised it took this long for someone to point this out.
The main thing I wanted people to get out of the article is how blatantly and unapologetically full of hatred for women some men are. Did you get that? It doesn't take much effort to see the exact same attitude represented on this board or even on this thread, and it's very difficult to take someone's opinion about friendships, relationships or feminism seriously when they spout that kind of hatred.


relevant movie that's coming up.
Tony Danza? I'm sold! No, really, what are the chances that Jason Gordon Levitt's character will learn a lesson about himself and about women, give up porn and end up with Scarlett Johannsen? Maybe I'm wrong, since JGL was in one of the most brutally honest films about infatuation that exists (500 Days of Summer), but I guess we'll see.
 

Tanoomba

ジョーディーすれいやー
<Banned>
10,170
1,439
I read the rest of the article and I find it a bit interesting that you're sharing it here since it pretty much makes the point I've been making all along.

The first and most obvious problem with this article is that he keeps referring to ?men? when he really means ?straight sexist men,? which is a subset of men. While feeling entitled to a hot girl is very common sexist man behavior, it certainly doesn?t apply to (say) the shy guy who assumes that the girl who asks him out is joking, or the promiscuous dude who takes most rejections with a shrug and a ?your loss.? People are different, and one?s anti-sexist language needs to be careful not to reinforce that sort of stereotypes.
Way to erase low-libido or asexual men, dude. Just because you are constantly horny does not mean that men are constantly horny. And, yes, I think this section is a high-libido/low-libido issue, not a men/women issue. (Although what I have read about trans people on hormones suggests that it is possible that testosterone makes you hornier, the science is far from in, and at any rate lots of women are hornier than lots of men.)
Queer men exist. Asexual men exist. Men who think sex is fun enough but all things considered would really rather play Magic exist. You CANNOT have a model of how men work that only applies to men who fit our culture?s idea of How Male Sexuality Works.
This is the Beast end of the Knight/Beast dichotomy. ?All men indiscriminately want sex with everyone everywhere, all men continually exercise self-control to keep them from harassing and sexually assaulting and raping women, all men will fuck any warm hole that comes to hand, and if they try really hard they can pretend to be a Knight but there?s always the Beast lurking within.? No. That is not how male sexuality works. It isn?t necessarily predatory or violent or rapey or indiscriminate? any more than female sexuality is.
All reinforcements of the idea that assumptions and generalizations can't be used to make points about human sexuality.
Once again, we're on the same side here.
 

TrollfaceDeux

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Bronze Donator>
19,577
3,743
I know that I know nothing
rrr_img_26765.gif
http://www.reddit.com/r/LadyMRAs/comments/13wkl5/is_the_term_feminism_inherently_sexist/
 

Famm

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
11,041
794
I don't think I should have made that "your mother" remark to the guy who asked me about forehead kisses, since it was later pointed out to me IRL that the question wasn't necessarily a mocking jab at my manlihood, which I initially interpreted it as being.
You're so consumed with this thread that you are getting advice on it IRL from your girlfriends?
 

TrollfaceDeux

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Bronze Donator>
19,577
3,743
Tanoomba is here to teach us about women and friendship. Because some of us are misogynists! Great injustice! Let's all gather and listen to his lore.
 

Tanoomba

ジョーディーすれいやー
<Banned>
10,170
1,439
You're so consumed with this thread that you are getting advice on it IRL from your girlfriends?
No, that was my male buddy (the guy who agrees with those of you who say men and women can't be friends, although he has just as much trouble as you do justifying why without resorting to inaccurate assumptions and generalizations, and he also can't explain why some males are perfectly capable of having female friends). But that's OK, keep making assumptions about me. Every time you make a wrong assumption (which, to date, has beenevery time), you strengthen my position.


Tanoomba is here to teach us about women and friendship. Because some of us are misogynists! Great injustice! Let's all gather and listen to his lore.
Shit man, you don't have to stick around if you're not interested. I just get annoyed when people spout bullshit about something they know nothing about that I actually do know something about. Just like some gun guy will jump in to correct anyone who misquotes a gun specification or some jet guy will jump in to correct the incorrect classification of some jet pic. The only difference is in those cases, everybody figures "That guy knows guns/jets. A correction has been made" and moves on. When I correct a false statement, you get those no-no feelings that make you wonder if your idea of what a man is is being challenged, so it becomes a crusade to defend your masculinity at all costs, regardless of how unfounded in reality your point of view might be. You guys want to defend your right to be misogynists and assholes, fine, knock yourselves out. Just don't blame me for calling you on it.

Anyway, from your link:

Basically, by using the dictionary definition, feminism=equal rights therefore since I believe in equal rights I'm a feminist.
Yup. That's feminism in a nutshell.

Why does feminism have only positive connotations and masculism (I just learned this is a real word today!) have negative ones? Isn't this the real definition of sexism, where you judge something based solely on gender?
That's a perfectly valid question. It's already been answered, but let's review:
What this guy is asking is why we seem to give more weight to fixing women's problems than men's problems, and why, if we really wanted equal rights, we are not using a gender-neutral term.
Of course men have problems. Feminism isn't saying that female problems are more important, it's saying that whatever problems men have, they're not based on a system that's designed to give them disadvantages from birth, whereas women do live this situation. Before anybody starts a flame war, nobody has disagreed that sexism still exists in society. Women, despite how far we've (as a species) come, are still seen as women first and people second (along with all the assumptions and generalizations that comes with), whereas men are not. It's why in Awesomenauts (a great MOBA), the male characters are a cowboy, a chameleon, a frog, a robot, a brain, a monkey, an alien in a mech, a bug priest, a gremlin, a slug riding a puffer-fish and a viking (basically, a wide range of archetypes), while the two female characters both have hourglass shapes with ample, clearly rounded breasts and full, pouty lips. Now, I like the character design and I don't think any developer should feel obligated to include a minimum number of female characters who represent a minimum number of archetypes, but we pretty much take for granted that men can be anything* while women are expected to be beautiful and curvy and make sandwiches. I don't have to prove that this type of sexism exists, this board is full of it.
*Exception: Men are expected to be "manly". It's why there's so much pressure on me in this thread to conform to your idea of what a man is. See, the thing is it's MEN who want men to be manly, and feminism is against that too.

Long answer short: We say "feminism" because it's been men who made all the rules up to this point and yes, in order for us to have equal rights and opportunities, it's women who need to be allowed to have the same privileges men have been enjoying.

Cue the angry ranting men...
 

TrollfaceDeux

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Bronze Donator>
19,577
3,743
at least you admit that feminism is about womenz. I mma stick to MRA.

Cue the angry white woman




 

Famm

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
11,041
794
*Exception: Men are expected to be "manly". It's why there's so much pressure on me in this thread to conform to your idea of what a man is. See, the thing is it's MEN who want men to be manly, and feminism is against that too.
You're so fucking lost. Its women who expect "manliness" out of men, even your sacrosanct feminists. They will never tell you that though because they communicate covertly, not overtly like males.

Women today can be whatever the fuck they please. They have total control over reproduction, total control over family court, total control over their appearance despite your apparent belief that some shadowy patriarchy is forcing them to wear dresses, and they are ensconced in the all the high value careers and have held nearly every political office in the nation. These expectations of stereotypical femininity are long gone, but for men we are expected to retain all the traditional expectations of manhood or get marginalized by the opposite sex.

Your bros here and your bro IRL want you to open your eyes and be real, your chick "friends" have zero respect for you and you don't even realize it.
 

Burnesto

Molten Core Raider
2,142
126
This is relevant.

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Entertain...2#.UaN7pEDU9KW

Chick goes undercover as a man.

cliffs
-woman is lesbian feminist
-woman dresses like a man. talks like a man. puts stubble on like a man.
-woman joins bowling team thinking they would be dicks to the newcomer, woman was wrong. the bowling team was very open to the newbie
-woman goes to strip club. claim that she wasnt aroused all though she is a lesbian
-woman goes to catholic ministry thing. they all thought she was a gay guy
-woman goes to mens therapy session. they all talk about chopping up their wives and she sympathizes with them
-woman goes on over 30 dates, and is shocked women dont want girls in a guys body
-woman trys to cold approach and gets rejected
-woman now appreciates mens struggles and says she now appreciates being a woman because she sees it as a privilege lol

I copy-pasted the cliffs so don't go crazy over the grammar.
 

Palum

what Suineg set it to
27,334
43,386
Haha, everyone in this thread 'hates' women? Maybe you need a dictionary to look up some of these words at this point.

My mom was an officer in the the Army Reserve for 13 years, was in the first class to graduate OCS that allowed women, had a successful career besides and then quit to raise my siblings and myself for 20+ years. She then went back for a Masters in Accounting because she wanted a new field and got a very good job working for the state. She also used to love fast cars and owned many Firebirds, a tuned MGB GT, etc. I have tremendous (LOOK tre-MEN-dous OMHADMAGAAWWWWD) respect for her and obviously my world view on the equality of women is skewed away from the 'oh shit it's like the fucking 1600s all up in here again!' world ending feminist diatribes you are dredging up because of my childhood. My mom was beating that shit into the ground 30 years ago without all these whiny ass lobbyists who want equal pay for the skills they didn't earn by deciding to fuck around and dabble in shit marriages for 10 years before becoming a man hater.

But you know what? Despite being able to strip an M-16 and reassemble it in her sleep, she still fucking loves to shop, talk about shoes, I get her jewelery for gifts and all the other typical 'oh my god feminist oppression' bullshit because that's how she is. It's not some mystical conspiracy theory.

And yea, another anecdote on the pile, but I don't care at this point. You're just talking circles around yourself with all the sensationalism being used to defeat an accepted truism that men and women are fundamentally different and the base reality for most people formed from that divide which is that they can't be 'just friends' in any equitable way unless there's circumstances preventing libido on both sides simultaneously.
 

Tanoomba

ジョーディーすれいやー
<Banned>
10,170
1,439
at least you admit that feminism is about womenz. I mma stick to MRA.

Cue the angry white woman
Great video.
She makes a good point: That, historically, the imbalances in gender roles played a practical purpose in the evolution of our species and that, in many ways, men had it more difficult than women did. I'll give her that. Today, though, with the exception of child birth, we can't say that we need men to do X and women to do Y. We're realizing that gender roles have become obsolete, and that gender itself is not a dichotomy. However, sexism still exists as an ingrained attitude in our culture, an attitude that some people are fighting to defend, even! Many posters on this board wear their sexism like a badge of honor as their way of saying "Fuck you, women, you're not getting any ofmypower! Now go make me a sandwich, amirite?" So yeah, these are attitudes women have to face today and no, it's not a two-way street. You can't say that men face the same thing because they don't. Guys don't get "creeped on" on the bus, they're not instantly objectified and judged by appearance by everyone they meet, they don't have to "prove themselves" as being strong despite their gender.


You're so fucking lost. Its women who expect "manliness" out of men, even your sacrosanct feminists. They will never tell you that though because they communicate covertly, not overtly like males.
Exhibit A:
Tanoomba's a guy? He's gay.
(See thread for 800 further examples of this)

Women today can be whatever the fuck they please. They have total control over reproduction, total control over family court, total control over their appearance despite your apparent belief that some shadowy patriarchy is forcing them to wear dresses, and they are ensconced in the all the high value careers and have held nearly every political office in the nation. These expectations of stereotypical femininity are long gone, but for men we are expected to retain all the traditional expectations of manhood or get marginalized by the opposite sex.
Long gone, eh? Sure, a woman likeElena Kagancan become Supreme Court Justice so what the fuck are women complaining about?
Some comments about her from a Free Republic thread:
"Her face is so ugly you can smash it into some dough and make gorilla cookies."
"So fugly, I'd say 'don't even look'!!!"
"At least Medusa was modestly attractive by comparison."
"This person is disgusting and I would never trust 'it's' opinion on ANYTHING!"

See a problem yet?

Your bros here and your bro IRL want you to open your eyes and be real, your chick "friends" have zero respect for you and you don't even realize it.
*Deep breaths*

*Deep breaths*

I want to be civil, I really do. I don't want to call you a fucking mor-

*Deep breaths*

I don't know how many times and in how many ways I can stress this, but you are not a fucki-... you are not an authority on the relationships I have with people in my life. You don't know me. You certainly don't know them. This keeps coming up again and again and againand again and again and again... A bunch of random assho-... random strangers who don't like the idea of men and women being friends have decidedfor methat my friendships with females simply "don't count". I tried to actually give some context here. I tried to give a synopsis of the circumstances under which one of my female friends and I became friends. This was met with mocking and, again,again, the assumption that I'm somehow misinterpreting my own friendships. How can so many of you argue so fiercely about something you know literally nothing about? Where the f-... where do you get off, seriously?Seriously???

How many times would you let me repeat that I believe you are a dog rapist? That somehow, based on the words you've typed, I have come to the irrefutable conclusion that you have raped at least 10 dogs and murdered at least 2. I know this to be true, and nothing you can say will ever be able to change my mind, you dog-raping murderer. When would you get fed up? Sounds pretty stupid, doesn't it? And yet you (and many others) feel like you have male/female interaction all figured out, and if you hear of a case that doesn't fall into one of your pre-approved categories of how males and females MUST interact, then it doesn't count. They think they're friends but they're kidding themselves, they must be. THE RULES declare it to be so.

No. True. Scotsman.
 

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
1,472
0
You're so fucking lost. Its women who expect "manliness" out of men, even your sacrosanct feminists. They will never tell you that though because they communicate covertly, not overtly like males.

Women today can be whatever the fuck they please. They have total control over reproduction, total control over family court, total control over their appearance despite your apparent belief that some shadowy patriarchy is forcing them to wear dresses, and they are ensconced in the all the high value careers and have held nearly every political office in the nation. These expectations of stereotypical femininity are long gone, but for men we are expected to retain all the traditional expectations of manhood or get marginalized by the opposite sex.

Your bros here and your bro IRL want you to open your eyes and be real, your chick "friends" have zero respect for you and you don't even realize it.
The angst in this one is strong. Share your hurt with us. What did she do to you, that woman that hurt you so much?

Well, one case of "denier has deep insecurity with women." I'm not gonna jump to any conclusions about others, but 1 is a start